Entry Number 1

Dear People who actually went to the next part,

Hello! I appreciate it you kept reading! Thank you!

Today, I did nothing, really. I thought. And it kind of downed me.

So I'll share!

My best friend messaged me on Facebook a few months ago (aril second, to be exact…) and, since I doubt she'll ever see this, this is what she sent me.

Jackie, I'm sorry, but I don't want to be friends. I'm bad at telling people that. I drop hints. But when the time comes, you're just really good at making me feel TERRIBLY guilty. I think you know me a tad too well. I don't want to talk about it, so I'm blocking you on everything that I can think of. Lately, you've been really controlling and kind of hypocritical. I just kind of can't stand it. I'd point out other flaws, but I don Have a good life, brah.

Her name I will not say, because she still deserves privacy.

And, if you do see this, I miss you. Terribly. You have no IDEA how much I miss you. You were the sister I never had! And, whatever I did, I'm sorry.

Well, we were best friends. We met at camp three years ago, and became amazing friends, and spoke on Skype every day and were just so close it was amazing. I couldn't get her out of my head today, because last summer I dealt with having barely any friends by talking to her, but this summer I'm completely alone except for one friend, Kaitlin. She is my closest thing I have to a best friend, and, although I love her, I doubt we could be best friends, but we are still close.

I was looking over our old Facebook messages and I didn't really see where I was being hypocritical and all :/ It's bugging me now. I can see where she stopped being my friend, really. She started to stop joking with me and was always so serious, and she just wasn't like that…

Like in our school they have this stupid thing, where if you say something that sounds a bit perverted, you say pause. I only thought it was at our school (she lives in another state) and I said pause and I wasn't thinking and asked her if she knew the stupid joke behind it and she got offended and got off Facebook. Plenty of other times that happened, too.

I've been having a lot of dreams lately that she starts talking to me again…

When she first stopped talking to me, I had school the next day, and I started crying in class, and this one girl, Sunnii, was trying to calm me down. She was actually being nice to me, unlike everybody else, and became a pretty good friend, but we haven't hung out at all.

Well, that's all for today, I feel like crying and don't need my parents freaking out…

Bye!