With the events of their last meeting on their minds, Kyouske and Mika have to come to terms with themselves…

Desire 05: Mixed Feelings

I headed home, riding the train as I thought about my confession to Mika. In part of my mind, I was happy. But in another part, I was uncertain. Thinking to myself, I turned the facts over in my mind. We were raised to be close to each other, becoming childhood friends. I had even fallen I love with her. But on the other hand, I felt was far apart from Mika more than I ever have before.

Heading inside my house, I decided to just let things be. I confessed to her and told her the truth after six years. That was all I could ever do. I should just let things go their own way now. I didn't really feel like eating anything, so I just did my homework and went to bed. As I laid in my bed slowly falling asleep, my mind just had an interesting thought.

"Just how is this affecting Mika right now…"

I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lying there, so many thoughts had ran through my mind. "Kyouske was in love with me? He tried to confess before?" I still couldn't believe it after so long. Before that day six years ago, he was always so kind, so nice, so supportive to me. Never would I have thought that he had fallen for me…

At that thought, I mentally kicked myself. I had just realized that he was the one leaving me hints of his feelings. "Argh! I'm so stupid!" I thought to myself as the palm of my hand hit my face. I mistook his feelings for another boy's feelings. Even more so, my heart has been racing since Kyouske told me that he loved me. But why is this? I thought I had gotten rid of any feelings towards him. When that one day had happened, I was so hurt that I began to hate any feelings towards him. So I tried not to even think of him. Still, I wonder how I truly felt about him? I never had thought about those things before, because he was more like the older brother that I never had. I even called him Kyouske nii-chan before. For a while, he liked being called that. I guess it was when he found out that I was moving, that he didn't want me to call him that. Or was it when he fell for me, that he stopped me from calling him that? My mind is just going in different places now…

But then some more thoughts hit my mind. How have I truly felt about him? The thought about being with him, the real him, made me wonder. What if we really were lovers? Even more so, I thought "What if things really did continue that day?" For some strange reason, my body began to get hotter from the thought. I quickly tried to think off other things, because now my thoughts were headed down the wrong path. I mean really, I was thinking about him taking advantage of me and starting to feel… that from it. I sighed, thought "I really have some strange thoughts…" to myself, and closed my eyes. But later into that night, I didn't have the nightmare of that day. I instead had a different dream about the two of us, one where we really were lovers…

To be continued…

Well, the first stages are being set. What will Kyouske and Mika do next?