When Pen-Handle Pete wuz made ter feel like dirt by Hilder-Guard

'n' thuh Trafford, then Doc Grolimund wuz set ter go in hard,

Never one ter shun a fight fer new Adventist underpooch,

When thuh low-down filly movement put a price on seekin' smooch.

Doc wuz keen ter grab a refund, but Pete called 'is best mate off,

Shakin' dust from both their feet, 'n' pullin' horses from thuh trough,

So ter make their way ter better tasks. They planned a seekers meet,

Once thuh Costa usin' outside 'elp 'ad their first mission beat.

Though Doc Grolimund was not that keen on Pete's great love o' spice

On thuh flamin' 'ot creations young Pete added to 'is rice,

'e wuz willin' when 'e fed 'imself, before 'e did thuh bolt,

Ter be flavourin' 'is lunch wit' some o' Pete's real tasty salt.

'e wuz wise ter make thuh most of what wuz waitin' on 'is plate,

Like thuh curry, since thuh one who counseled Pete wuz rather late

In solicitin' apologies from Trafford. Meanwhile Frank

Dished up lectures on what PH factor did ter one's blood bank.

But Doc Grolimund believed that they'd be better off ter take

Frank's advice with several grains o' salt ter season up a bake

O' thuh Ma's Day chicken casserole, before 'e fought thuh heat

O' resistance from them folks who thought they'd rather hit thuh street.

They wuz not that keen on seekers meets. Thuh youth would rather date

Wit' each other, as thuh Sabbath closed, than help participate

In a chance ter spread thuh last days news, before thuh world said 'bye'.

Doc decided 'e should stir their souls wit' preachin' from on high.

Then thuh feminist (resistin' words writ' by Apostle Paul)

Kept on pushin' 'er agenda, like thuh way that caused thuh fall,

Namely Eve's most non-submissive ways. Doc Grolimund declared:

They'd use each best person fer them jobs, not make 'em gender-shared.

Though linguistic limitations o' thuh voice o' "There is 'ope"

Killed that outreach on its debut night, thuh team would never mope.

They'd be callin' fer thuh 'oly Spirit's 'elp, 'n' pressin' on,

'til thuh day, when chained up in 'is pit, Diablo's power wuz gone.