Author: sukihana00 PM
The woman who got away is determined to not fall back in love with the one man who wants to get her back.Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,254 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 08-02-12 - Published: 06-24-12 - id: 3035670
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Running down the street, I couldn't find a single cab on duty.
Why do I have the worst luck?
Walking a few more yards, I found the nearest subway station. It's too far away to walk back to my apartment. After walking down the stairs I swipe my card through the entrance bars, and I rush onto the platform to avoid being left behind my train. Stopping on the platform, I felt the gust of wind that often accompanies an incoming train; I knew that I wouldn't have to wait long. After a few seconds, I step into the newly paused train, and settled myself into a seat. I was finally able to fully release the tension that had built up in the past couple hours.
Dropping my head into my hands, I ran my fingers through my hair trying to unsuccessfully calm myself. Pulling deep breaths into my lungs, I wiped the tears off my face.
The one thing that I had promised myself that I would never do, and the one thing that I had refused to accept
It was a simple realization, a realization that had been accomplished tonight.
Something that would prove to be my undoing, it will destroy everything that I had worked hard for.
It will break my heart.
Matthew's kiss had proved to be my undoing. I couldn't run away from reality anymore. I could no longer bury bad memories into the back of my mind. It's finally time to face the truth, the truth that I had purposely avoided for three years out of fear that I would never fully heal.
I was still in love with Matt.
I never stopped loving him.
All these years, I had buried any negativity into the back of my mind. I never got to solve my problems; I just hid them or ignored them. I lived my life completely in denial, escaping into my own personal world of lies. Now because of my stupidity, I have to face all of my problems at full capacity because I was too much of a coward to face my problems head on.
I will now have to suffer through an unrequited love completely on my own.
I will never forget how wonderful it felt to be back in Matt's arms. Nothing felt better than the security that accompanied being surrounded in his warmth. However with as much happiness that flowed into me, depression came in twice as strong. The man that I was still in love with, after three years of separation was engaged.
Despite the fact that I loved him, I will never be able to be with him.
I will have to watch them happily celebrate their engagement with their family and friends because of my own actions. If I hadn't been so ridiculously stubborn in trying to prove to my self that I had falsely gotten over Matt, I wouldn't have signed myself onto this project. Now not only do I have to watch that happiness, I have to plan that happiness with the utmost accuracy.
"Soph you are such an idiot," I mumble into my hands.
Pulling my head up out of my palms, I straighten myself back up and check to see where I am. Hopefully I didn't miss my stop in all of my wallowing.
Hearing the intercom introduce my stop, I take a deep breath in relief.
Pulling myself out of my seat, I walk over the bars in front of the car's entrance and wait for the train to stop. Feeling the sway of my body, I prepared myself to leave the car. While I walk up the stairs back to street level, I try to school my expression. I don't have the energy to explain myself to Beth right now. Bringing my hand to my eyes, I wipe my eyes carefully being mindful of my now ruined eye makeup. Taking a deep breath, I resist the urge to bury my pain again. Three years of that, and I finally learned the negative effects of it.
Determination poured through my heart. I will make it through this.
"You lost your chance Sophie," I announce, "pull yourself together and get over it. You have a job to finish."
Continuing my walk home, I resigned myself to the fact that I loved Matt. However, with this fact came the brutal resolve to finally give up on him.
It was never meant to be.
It has been three days since I had last seen Sophie, since I had last held her in my arms.
I hadn't heard from her since.
I am going to have to start from step one now, all because a moment of weakness that had turned into a moment filled with passion. Now I am going to have to approach her very cautiously. I do not want to scare her away again, I was unfortunately well aware of what happened when I gave into temptation. Luckily, since we didn't have a chance to actually discuss anything related to my engagement party; we have to make up for that meeting soon. Looking at the calendar on my laptop, I frowned. We will need to have the meeting soon; it was almost the end of October.
The shock of seeing Sophie run away from me shook my confidence. What was I going to do to capture her heart once again? I know that I have to move slow, but how slow? Would I eventually just push her further away from me despite my efforts?
I still wasn't sure how I was going to pull this off. Was I going to be simple about this and end the engagement after the engagement party? While Melissa was lazy, and normally wouldn't want to meet the planner, would she have a change of heart and want to see Sophie. Crap, what if Melissa saw the contract, and saw that it was Sophie who was in charge of our engagement party? Or what if Melissa heard some gossip, and became suspicious? There were so many risks that were in the way. Putting my head on my desk, I took a deep calming breath.
At first, I didn't want Melissa's reputation to get hurt because of my plan to get Sophie back. I wanted to simply end the engagement, and pull all of the blame onto myself. Melissa and I knew that our relationship was one of convenience; we were not in love with each other. That didn't mean that I could humiliate her like this. She maybe shallow and superficial, but she didn't deserve to be thrown to the curb in front of New York's upper crust.
Now the circumstances have changed. As much as I dislike using Melissa, I need her to get Sophie back. I need to use our engagement, or Sophie will find no purpose being in my life again. I also can't ask Melissa to pretend to stay engaged with me temporarily, she is quite proud, and would surely be offended.
So now I am stuck.
I will just have to continue with this ruse of an engagement, lying to everyone in my life. Then when the engagement party is over, hopefully Sophie will be safely tucked in my arms and the engagement will be over.
I am so selfish.
However, this is the only thing I can do.
Sighing once again, I heard my phone go off. Hope flourished within me, could it be Sophie? Pulling my phone out of my desk drawer, I looked to see that rather than it being Sophie; it was my mother. Stifling a groan, I swiped my phone open, and answered my phone.
"Hello Matthew, it's nice to finally be able to speak to my son, don't you think," I heard my mother complain. I don't have the energy to deal with this right now.
"What do you want Mother?"
"Can't a mother simply want to talk to her son?"
Not when she is you.
"Well if you are not going to talk, I will talk for you. I haven't seen dear Melissa in the longest time. Why don't you take her to lunch with you today?"
This confused me, when did I have a lunch with my mother?
"We have lunch today?"
"Now we do. Meet me at Chez Raoul at one. See you then."
Hearing the click, I controlled my temper. Only my mother would not only invite herself to lunch with someone, she would force someone else in as well. Granted, to her, it would make perfect sense to bring my fiancé. She never was a woman with patience, and a respect for other's schedules. If you didn't go her way, she would destroy any other way for you to go. Over the years I learned the safest way to survive alongside my mother was to follow her direction without complaint. Pulling Melissa's phone number up, I called her.
"Hello Melissa, my mother wants us to have lunch together in about two hours. Can you be ready by then?"
"Of course, meet you at your art gallery?"
Agreeing, I hung up.
This was going to be interesting.
Walking into the restaurant, I felt Melissa's arms wrap around mine as we approached my mother's table. We have to keep up with the charade. My parents actually think we love the idea, a sardonic grin slipping on my face with the thought. Quickly wiping it on my face, I approached my mother.
Stepping up to her chair, I kissed her cheek before settling into mine from across the table. I looked up from my wine glass when I heard my mother speak.
"So how are you two love birds doing?"
My mother almost sounded warm, and friendly. She actually liked Melissa, which would explain the strange attitude. I heard Melissa respond.
"Mother, we both are doing great. We were actually just talking about how long it had been since we last saw you, right dear?"
My eyebrows raised, Melissa was laying it on thick. She could lie enough for the both of us.
"Well dear, we will be seeing each other soon at the Met's Charity Costume Ball right? You need not worry, we will be seeing each other soon," I heard my mother say.
I forgot all about that. Luckily, Melissa covered for the both of us.
"Don't worry Mother, we will see you then."
As soon as Melissa finished speaking, our food arrived at the table. I didn't remember ordering anything. Seeing my inquisitive look, my mother answered my unasked question.
"Of course I ordered for you. I was sitting here all on my own, and you took so long to get here."
My mother would do that.
Honestly, I had completely forgotten about the Halloween costume ball at the Met. Fortunately, Melissa had prepared our costumes earlier in the month. Somehow, she knew I would forget. She wanted us to be a couple, even in costume. I groaned, I didn't want to have to deal with publically keeping up with appearances. I couldn't be myself in public. I had to watch my every move because there was always some one else who in return watched my every move.
My thoughts had resulted in me being silent the entire lunch, partially listening to my fiancé and my mother jibber jabber about meaningless nonsense. By the time I was done, our lunch was over. I turned to my mother when I heard her address both of us.
"It was nice seeing you both again, even though I really only visited with one of you," she said while giving me a pointed look, "I will see you both in three days at the Met's Charity ball."
Sitting at my desk, I carelessly looked through all of the work I had my assistant do for me. I never did my own work. That was what my assistants were for. I was a supposed "VP of Sales in the Women's Contemporary Department". When my parent's company became a leading department store, they gave me this position right when I was out of college. We all knew that it was a superficial position to me. They realized partway through my first year of work that I didn't have the work instinct they needed to make my department's sales rise, so they hired the best workers to work in my stead while I collected the rewards of their work.
It was a wonderful arrangement.
Hearing my phone ring, I dug through my purse to answer it.
"I found what you were looking for. It should now be arriving in your email's inbox."
The click finished our one sided conversation with finality. My personal investigator was always like that; efficient, cold, and impersonal. He was my favorite type of worker. Opening my email, I saw the message he was talking about. Clicking it, I was disgusted with what awaited me. Looking through the photos that he found, I felt my anger flaring as I arrived at the last one.
Seeing my fiancé kissing another woman was an unsettling sight. Looking through the email, I didn't see any text so I had no idea how he met that twit of an ex-girlfriend again.
This was not good
Sophie, you watch yourself. Matthew Inglewald is mine. Get your grubby, poor little hands off of him.
With a note of finality, Melissa shut her laptop and left her office.