Chapter 10: Too Much

Theme: "Halo" by Evans Blue

I stared at the symbol for several seconds, if not minutes, like it's going to jump off the page and start walking. A large lump formed in my throat, and I wanted to cry. Sure enough, I felt something trailing down my cheeks. My fingers gripped the sides of the paper, wrinkling the paper and turning my knuckles snow white. All of a sudden, I felt sick. Disgusted, angry, betrayed, heartbroken, whatever you want to call it.

This was bullshit. I thought I could take it back then, and I thought it was too much at first, but this was way too much to handle. What did I do to deserve this?

Whatever time passed was a bit of a blank, but I suddenly found myself ripping the page apart, piece by piece. And it wasn't just that. I picked up the three other sheets and tore them apart. I grabbed the whole stack and two at a time, ripped the pages apart. And that wasn't just it. I took the pieces and tore those apart too, ripping them and shredding each and every piece until it was nothing more than a bunch of confetti. I grabbed the clay doll and threw it against the wall, stomping over to it and stomping on it. And yet, it still wasn't enough. I wasn't thinking properly. I just wanted to get everything...out.

I barely felt it when my knuckles collided with the wall. My fist began shaking and pain began to shoot through my arm, but I didn't care. I was just so angry, so bitter. I hit the wall again. And again. And again. Some time or another, whether it was tearing all the papers or hitting the wall, I began to scream. Loud, ear shattering screams. Angry screams that explain betrayal and backstabbing. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I heard footsteps running to my room, and then banging on the door.

"Joanne? Are you okay? Why is the door locked?" Lizzie screamed from the other side, continuing to pound on the door. I didn't remember locking the door, but at this point, I don't think I really cared anymore. "Please, Jojo. Open up! I want to help you!"

My hand was shaking badly. The skin on the back was purple, and a few of my knuckles were ripped, resulting in a cascade of blood on both the wall and my fingers. But I didn't care. I gripped my hurting hand and screamed to the other side of the door. "Go away Lizzie!"

"Joanne, we heard screaming and pounding! What's going on in there? What's happening?" Axel's voice replied. I gripped my ears-ignoring how much it hurt- and began rocking back and forth. As much as I love my friends, I didn't want to see anyone at that moment. And we weren't even living here for a week.

"GO AWAY, ALL OF YOU! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE! NOW!" I screamed at the door, my voice cracking with tears falling down my face. The banging ceased for only a second, but it began up again. I continued to cry, falling onto my side and bringing my knees up to my chest, my hands still around my ears. "Please, go away. Please, this isn't real. It isn't real, it isn't real..." I mumbled to myself. After all I've gone through, after the hell I've been put through, this was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Nothing could make me feel better.

Nothing.

My eyes fluttered open, and I quickly registered the fact that I was no longer laying on my side. I shot up, looking around to see I was lying in my sleeping bag, an extra blanket thrown on top. A quick glance at my arm revealed that it was wrapped up in a few bandages, along with some gauze and medical tape. I looked to the right to see that the sky had now turned to a deep orange color, indicating dusk.

I grabbed my iPod. 6:30 in the evening. God, I slept through the whole day? Rubbing my eyes, I got off my sleeping bag and opened the door. The house was as silent as a graveyard. Slightly afraid, I sheepishly called out, "Hello?" Stepping out, I looked down. While I was asleep, someone must've felt it was necessary to change my outfit. I was now dressed in a red plaid shirt and some blue sleep pants. I looked around, making sure to hesitate before turning the corner.

My eyes landed on the counter, where a small note lay.

Joanne,

We were going to wake you up, but we decided you needed some sleep. Went out for dinner. Bandaged your hand and swept up the trash. Need to talk about what happened. Pick you up something on the way home.

-Axel

Typical Axel. Never likes to explain big if he doesn't have to. Biting my lip, I looked over at my hand. It didn't seem broken, but it sure was going to be hell for a few days. Out on a limb, I put my hair in a ponytail, just because I felt like I needed it. I plopped down on the couch and yanked up my pant leg, revealing the other bandage on my ankle. I blew out a sigh and folded my hands together, glaring up at the ceiling.

Bethany knew. She knew of the whole thing before I did. She saw Him, and she knew what He was capable of. My mom had taken me to a psychiatrist when I was three because she thought something was wrong with me. Maybe there is, considering that I'm seventeen and just threw a giant temper tantrum. But then again, I'm not the only one, am I?

A sudden movement from outside caught my eye, and I bolted to the door, flinging it open and looking around the backyard for any clues. "Where are you?" I asked to nobody, stepping out onto the porch and clenching my wrists. "What do you want from me?" A sudden rustle in the bushes, and I was on it like a lion on its prey. Nothing. Frustrated and hungry, I snarled to myself, ready to head back inside.

A little piece of paper sat on the porch, tied with a little black bow. Damn, he's good.

Carefully picking it up, I yanked the bow off and unfolded the paper.

WOODS

COME WHEN STARS AT FULLEST ON 9/15

COME ALONE

I read the paper again before I scrunched it up into a ball and threw it to the side. I stomped back into the house and slammed the door shut.

Totheark wants to play games?

Fine, we'll play games.