|Who Said You Could Be Who You Wanted To?
Author: DallasL PM
This was an essay I had to write for English and I liked it so I decided to post it on here and get reviews and feedback. Thank youRated: Fiction K - English - Words: 1,004 - Published: 07-19-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3043414
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Who said you could be who you wanted to?
So this was an essay I had to write for class and I really liked it so I decided to post it here and get feedback. Please don't be too harsh.
I didn't always know I was different. In elementary I'd chase the boys and they'd chase me, like little girls should. Kindergarten through seventh I was what my parents wanted: a respectful, smart and all around sweet girl who liked boys. Then eighth grade came and I started spending a lot of time with my friends, one in particular. I'd known her since third grade and she was my best friend. We spent every day together-staying after school, going to the movies, hanging out at each others houses-and I loved being with her. Every morning I would see her and I'd instantly get butterflies in my stomach and blush, but I had absolutely no idea why until one morning when we were separating for class.
She smiled and my heart leapt. She looked really nervous-which made me nervous-and her face was extremely red and she had a paper in her hand, gripping it like it was her life line. The next thing that happened changed my life forever. She took my hand and placed the note inside without saying a word-let alone looking at me-and walked away. My heart pounded so fast I thought it was going to break through my rib cage and pop out of my chest. The loud ringing of the bell signaling I was late pulled me out of my thoughts and I ran to my class. I stuck the note deep in my pocket-I wasn't ready to read it-and sunk into my seat. I felt like I had a sign on my head saying, "The World's Most Nervous Person"! Half way through the class I gave up the fight and took it out of my pocket. Slowly I opened it, one fold what it seemed every minute until I could see the writing on the paper. As I read her confession my eyes watered and my chest clenched. I couldn't believe what I was reading and I got scared. All my life I had learned I was supposed to like guys but in that moment I had realized why I got the way I did when I was with her. I was different. I was in love with my best friend. I was in love with a girl.
After a couple of days I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. I was happy and felt complete and all of the other cliche things but the kids at school felt the opposite and they showed it. When I'd walk down the hallway holding her hand or hugging her or kissing her kids would burn me with their eyes. Disgusted looks would be plastered on their faces and crude words would escape their lips. They were so ignorant. Friends started looking at me weird and talking to me less until they became strangers. In hallways it felt like kids would clear a path for me, not wanting to touch me because they'd "catch the gay". Some teachers were just like the students. They'd see me hold her hand or simply hug her and they'd run over and yell "none of that!" all the while next to us a straight couple would be down each others throats and their hands would be all over the others body. I didn't understand why it was that way until my favorite teacher-the first person I had told I was gay-Mr. Alday told me that's just how the world works. After that I felt protective of her and had the need to keep them from hurting her. I thought that was going to be the worst of problems but boy was I wrong.
When I told my parents they flipped out. They were in denial and kept asking why I was rebelling. I told them I wasn't and to this day they keep making excuses. Their latest one is "Oh Dallas, you're not. It's just a phase". When does "a phase" turn into who I am? I remember one specific time my freshman year when I actually felt guilty for who I was. I walked down the hallway to my fifth period, just minding my own business and this group of girls caught up to me and started laughing and whispering. I took my headphone out so I could hear better and when I looked back I got hit with the worst glare of my life. They called me butch, lesbian, fag. Any other word they could think of and I didn't understand what I did to make them be so mean. I flipped them the bird and walked into class. As I sat down my fingers clung to my bag. I didn't know what to do or say so I just sat, tears threatening to spring from my eyes. I wasn't mad at them but at myself. I hated who I was at that moment because I knew the taunts and discrimination was never going to stop. I felt like all of my dignity, respect, and worth were gone. I wanted to be like all of the other girls-normal-but I knew I never could. That was the worst day of my high school life.
After that day I made a promise to myself to never let anyone make me feel that way again. Today I am still keeping to that promise even though it's hard. When can people accept the fact it's fine being gay? It's normal for two people of the same sex to be together. When will people's closed minds and prejudices end? Maybe another life time or universe when mankind says "All man is created equal" they actually mean it. Until then slurs, shoves, and bullying here I come.
The End. Thank you for reading and I hoped you liked it. Review and tell me what you think(: