Author: Meisha Nicole PM
Elizabeth has a difficult life. Between dealing with her ex who is visiting after five years, an overly invovled friend, and a gift in the form of a rainbow bra, she doesn't know how much more she can take. FemslashRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Romance - Words: 5,218 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 07-21-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3043772
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
"We'll dress you up in all the pride paraphernalia we can find. Then you'll go over to Kris's place lookin' like Homo Barbie. When she opens the door, jump on her like a spider monkey and French her until she stops fighting you. This is bound to get her attention and after that she'll realize how serious you are and take you back."
She stared aghast, unable to decide whether she found the comment amusing or disturbing. Maybe it was a bit of both.
"What do you want to put on first? The rainbow bra or the 'Lez be friends' t-shirt?"
"Neither of them."
"Because Cecilia, unlike you, I don't fancy ending up in jail while trying to pursue a girl. Nothing is worth that," Elizabeth explained with an exasperated sigh.
"Love is," my dumb, dumb friend retorted.
She didn't know why she took this girl anywhere. Cecilia was a walking disaster and on more than one occasion had been accused of assault due to big misunderstandings.
"I'm going to continue doing what I've been doing." she explained calmly.
"Having no contact with her and pining for what once was? That's your plan to get her back? Pathetic!"
By this point Elizabeth had enough of the conversation but Cecilia was like one of those screeching howler monkeys. You could never ignore one of them… or so she had heard.
"Pathetic as it might seem- it's working for me."
She snorted in disbelief. "You're delusional."
"So says the girl who believed in Santa until she was eighteen years old."
"The evidence was very convincing!" she screeched.
The screeching howler monkey was back again and with a vengeance at that. She was louder than she was last time and Elizabeth rubbed her temples as her head began to ache. "Be quiet would you, Cecilia? You're giving me another migraine."
"Listen, Elizabeth you have been pining over that girl for years and she's finally come back here! This is your chance to get her back."
"Last I checked you hated her," Elizabeth asked wirily.
Cecilia pursed her lips and huffed, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked away. "I don't hate her. I just dislike her immensely because I could never win your affections due to her but as your best friend I can put those feelings aside and help you win your true love."
"Who the hell talks like that?"
"I do!" Cecilia shouted.
"That's why your last girlfriend left all her stuff at our place before she drove off in the middle of the night."
Frowning, Cecilia gave her a look and nudged her. "In all seriousness, Elizabeth she's back here after five years. Don't you think you ought to tell her you still love her?"
"One: she's back here to help with her mother's wedding and not for me. Two: I broke up with her and refused to go with her to California which ruined the plans both of us had made together because I simply got cold feet. Why the hell would she take me back again?"
"You'll never know unless you try…"
"I'm a cynic, Cecilia and I know I broke her heart. She's moved on and… I've pretended to as least."
Elizabeth almost cursed her and Kris's mutual friend, Ryan, telling her about her ex-girlfriend's impending visit. After a messy breakup, Kris and she hadn't spoken in over five years. She had left for California with hopes of making it big in the music business and Elizabeth, who had dreams of being an author, was supposed to come with her. They had it all planned out but at the last minute, she got cold feet and told her she couldn't go.
She regretted that decision but what was done was done. Elizabeth moved on and went to a community college while Kris tried to achieve her dream. She kept in touch with Ryan and the male would always conveniently let Elizabeth know how she was doing. The last Elizabeth had heard from Ryan, Kris had yet to make it big and was working a rather less than amazing job while continuing to pursue her dream with her band.
"You could always move on with me," Cecilia muttered, shooting the bright red haired girl a grin when she frowned at her. "I'm just kidding."
"Yes," she assured her. "Do you want to go get something to eat? I'm starving and I don't feel like cooking today."
"I should've known moving in with you was a bad idea because it always falls on me to cook," Elizabeth countered as she stood up from the couch and slipped on her shoes. "Where do you want to go?"
"Jimmy's Diner. The food isn't the greatest but I love coffee."
Rolling her eyes at Cecilia, she nodded towards the door and they took the car and parked in the back. As they entered Jimmy's Elizabeth froze because the last person she expected to see when she entered the diner was Kris Hayes, her ex-girlfriend. She was sitting in the back and with her was Ryan. She had talked with him earlier and he had said Kris had arrived that night. Never did he say they were going out to eat.
"We should go," Elizabeth muttered. "I'd rather eat somewhere else."
"Why?" Cecilia asked with a frown, looking around until she spotted Ryan with a woman. "Is that her?" she whispered, glancing at Elizabeth and looking her up and down.
"She's hot. Did you wear the rainbow bra?"
"I threw that… in the wash today. Sorry," Elizabeth muttered, managing to catch herself. Her friend had been the one to give her that for her birthday one year and as much as Cecilia annoyed her at times, she didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"Damn it, Elizabeth! You need to prepare for these things!"
"Let's go," she insisted, tucking a strand of her bright red hair behind her ear as she turned to leave but before she could, her eyes locked with Kris and she swallowed. The girl- no woman- looked the same yet different. She was taller but her hair was still cut in that short, choppy style and there was an air of maturity about her but that was to be expected because they weren't those foolish eighteen year olds anymore.
She noticed Ryan glancing over at where Kris was looking and she was tempted to just leave but it was rude to do that. Elizabeth had intended to not see Kris during her visit back here and now she had broken her own rule on the first day.
"Elizabeth, he's waving us over. Come on," Cecilia hissed in her ear, hand clamping down onto her arm as she started to pull her over to the booth where Ryan and Kris were sitting.
The waitress stopped them as they got there and glanced at the two sitting down. "Are these two joining you?"
"Yes they are," Kris commented before Ryan or anyone could even say anything. Moving in, she motioned for one of the two to sit down and Cecilia was going to sit with Ryan but Elizabeth beat her to it.
"We're sorry for intruding on your dinner…" Elizabeth muttered.
"Don't worry about it, Liz. We just got here," Ryan said as he nudged her repeatedly until she looked up and glanced over at Kris.
"Long time no see," she said weakly, wishing she wasn't doing this in a diner full of people and her two demented friends.
"Yeah. It's good to see you Elizabeth and…"
"Cecilia," the blonde woman introduced herself with a grin. "I'm Elizabeth's roommate."
The waitress came around after that and saved them from a few moments of awkward conversation but when she left, there was no escaping it and Elizabeth wanted to sink into her seat and kill Cecilia. Either of the options worked.
"Ryan tells me you've finished school and working as a substitute teacher?" Kris asked randomly and Elizabeth nodded.
"How's everything with you?"
"Haven't found my big break yet but I will."
Elizabeth could still seem the same determination in her eyes and it made her heart ache. She still seemed as sure as herself as she did five years ago and she knew that eventually Kris would make it because she had the talent and drive to get there.
The rest of the dinner was slightly awkward but Elizabeth tried her best to converse with Kris. It was just so strange to see her again and it made her realize she did still love her more than anything. She remembered what they had when they were younger and she felt like a fool for letting her go. "Thanks for dinner, Ryan," Elizabeth commented after they were done eating, smirking when the dark haired male gave her a look.
"Don't worry, Ry she'll pay for both of us."
Elizabeth frowned. "What do you mean I'll pay for the two of us, Cecilia?"
"I forgot my money."
"No, you probably spent it on all that useless crap you buy."
"Hey, you love those rainbow bra and panty set I bought you!"
"Why must you always mention my unmentionables in public?"
Cecilia huffed. "Who talks like that?"
Kris watched the banter with an amused look on her face. Glancing over at Ryan who appeared like he was trying not to laugh, she gestured for him to come closer and stifled a chuckle. "Do they always do this?"
After a few more exchanges, the two patched things up and headed over to their respective cars. As she was about to get in her own car Kris walked up to her and swallowed. "Do you want to get lunch tomorrow? I'll be at the mall with my mother picking out her dress because she always had to wait to the last minute so maybe you can stop by and we can grab a bite?"
Elizabeth stared dumbfounded and then nodded slowly. "I'd like that," she said to her after a few moments of silence as she climbed into her car, giving Cecilia a look when she opened her mouth. "I'll wear it tomorrow okay?"
She had more than one rainbow bra.
Elizabeth met Kris at the mall and had to spend fifteen minutes talking with her mother. She had kept in contact with Kris's mother but the woman hadn't liked her very much after what she had done to her daughter so their relationship had gone from not-great, to sour, and finally become nonexistent.
"Sorry about my mom. She's really excited for the wedding," Kris said with a laugh as they found a spot in the nearly empty food court.
"I'm glad she's moving on. It's about time."
Kris snorted. "Tell me about it! She's been pining over my dad for long enough."
The sound of this made Elizabeth want to smack herself. Here she was pining over her ex-girlfriend of five years and yet telling Kris this crap. It made her sick.
"How have you been, Elizabeth?"
"You asked me this yesterday."
"I know but I want to know how you've really been. We didn't exactly leave things great between us."
Elizabeth swallowed. "It was rough at first but it's been a long time, Kris. I'm better and happy you're still trying to achieve your dream."
She grinned. "I'm glad to hear that. I mean I won't lie and say it didn't take me a long time to get over you but like you said, it's been five years and we were both so young. It wasn't fair of me to ask you to drop everything and come with me. Things worked out though, don't you think?"
"I won't lie and tell you it wasn't nerve wracking to think about coming here and seeing you again. I was terrified about how it would go but I really would like it if we could be friends again Elizabeth. You were always a good friend."
She swallowed and nodded, smiling faintly as she took a sip of her soda. "I want to say the same about you but it would be a lie. I think Cecilia, despite her insane tendencies, may be a better one."
Kris gave her a look. "Ha ha, very funny."
Elizabeth found herself sitting in her car for a long time before she worked up the nerve to leave the parking lot. It was obvious Kris didn't feel the same for her. Her feelings felt as strong as ever and in the past five years, Elizabeth hadn't really had a relationship. She'd dated a few girls but nothing that was long lasting. In every relationship, she compared them to Kris and pined after her. It was a disgusting cycle that she couldn't seem to break.
"How'd it go?" Cecilia asked once Elizabeth came in that afternoon. The blonde was dressed in her scrubs which indicated she had just come home from work and Elizabeth thought about lying and leaving her to be in some peace and quiet because she worked hard at the nursing home but in the end, she knew lying to Cecilia would get her nowhere.
"She wants us to be friends again. Apparently I'm a good friend."
"You are," Cecilia said quietly as she sat up on the couch. "Did you wear the bra?"
Elizabeth flashed her the bra strap in order to prove to her she had worn it. "It looks like it's not as lucky as you thought it was."
"Damn it, I overestimated the power of pride paraphernalia on bisexuals. Maybe we should try something more gender neutral instead of so obviously lesbian."
"Yeah, that's why she wants to be friends and it's not because we were together over five years ago and foolish teenagers."
"You still love her," Cecilia retorted.
"Sometimes I wonder if I'm pining over what once was or if I truly still love Kris," Elizabeth muttered. "She was important to me and there's no doubt about that because she was -excuse the cliché term- my first love but maybe I don't know if I'm pining for what once was or not."
"You're being stupid," Cecilia said bluntly before getting up. "Go talk to her and stop thinking so much! You'll never know unless you try."
Watching, Cecilia walk off, she collapsed onto the couch and sighed. Elizabeth knew that she was emotionally stunted and sometimes blamed her father. He hadn't come into her life until after her mother got sick and died and living with him hadn't been very productive. Her stepmother had been a witch -nearly stereotypically so- and her father not really emotionally invested in her. Maybe that had screwed her up or she could just be making excuses. Sometimes she felt like though Cecilia might me crazier than her, she had herself a lot more figured out then she did.
"What do you want for dinner tonight?" she shouted when her stomach suddenly growled. She had spent to long sitting in that parking lot contemplating things.
"Hot dogs… oh and Mac and cheese!"
Having to laugh at the slightly childish request and the way she put it, she told her that would be fine and settled back on the couch. It wasn't as if that was a difficult meal to cook.
"This is really good," Ryan muttered, nudging Elizabeth when she failed to respond. "Don't you think so?"
"Please don't get offended by my silence. I genuinely think it's good. I'm just speechless that's all," Elizabeth muttered. Her friend had come over that afternoon to see how she was doing before he went to work but she knew he just wanted to drop off the CD of Kris's music. Apparently she wanted her to listen to it but had been too embarrassed to actually give it to her.
"Really? I'm glad you like it!"
With Kris being on the phone, her response was a little muffled but she understood that she was happy and she had to shoot Ryan a look because he had conveniently called her after giving her the CD.
"You could've just emailed me an MP3 or something."
"I know but I wanted to see you. It's been awhile."
"Two days is awhile?" Elizabeth asked with a roll of her eyes.
"Kris wanted me to bring this to you and Cecilia if she wants to listen. It's her bands CD and I think they have a shot, don't you?"
"She always did."
Ryan gave her a look and suddenly embraced her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "I better get going. If I'm late to work my boss is going to have my ass."
"Almost literally because you also happen to be dating him."
"Ha ha, Elizabeth."
Smirking, Elizabeth glanced at the CD and placed in on the coffee stand. She had always known Kris had talent and this proved it. Her ex still had it and she was glad she was still determined to stick to her dream even if it was a tough one.
The next week or so seemed to fly by and she knew that Kris was only here for about two weeks because her boss couldn't give her any more time off. It was just enough time to help her mother do last minute preparations and actually go to the wedding. After she left, Elizabeth wondered if she'd ever see her again. They had been talking more she hoped that would continue but she feared being in the same position she had been for years now.
Kristen "Kris" Hayes was a constant reminder in her life and she had always been looming over her no matter where she went. She couldn't seem to shake the relationship and she wished she could. Elizabeth didn't know if she loved Kris or just pined for the past. Telling her was an option but she didn't know how that would go. She wasn't good with rejection and feared the worst because Kris seemed so insistent on with them resuming their friendship- even if it was separated by many states. While she did miss that aspect of their relationship, she couldn't help but wonder if she wanted more.
"Are you excited about going back to California?" Elizabeth asked while out with Kris one day. She was off from work and helping her pick up some bride maids dresses for her mother because her cousin had backed out and she needed help.
"Yeah, I miss the guys but it was nice to be back here," Kris commented with a small grin. "I actually can't believe you stayed here. You used to say how you hated being stuck here and that you couldn't wait to get out."
She shrugged. "Things changed," Elizabeth muttered. "I found myself going to school here and life just happened. I'm comfortable with my life though. Granted, the one pain in my life lives down the hall from me but I can deal with that."
"I'm glad," Kris chuckled.
Returning the smile Kris gave her she helped her with the dresses and brought them out to the brunette's mother's car. She was letting her use it for the last week she was here.
"You're invited to the wedding you know," Kris spoke as they climbed into the car. "My mom would like it if you go."
"I thought she hated me?"
"She just disliked you because you broke her baby's heart once upon a time but we've all moved on and she would like it if you'd come."
"Have we really all moved on?"
Elizabeth wished she could've smacked herself across the face but because that would get her a strange look, she refrained from doing so even if it was what she deserved. She had just put her foot in her mouth and opened Pandora's Box. She should've never said anything and wanted to backtrack from her previous statement if she could.
"What do you mean?"
"It was just a question." Elizabeth said with a faint smile. She was trying her best to laugh it off and she hoped it was working. "I'm just wondering if we've ever moved on from what happened."
"Elizabeth, why would you ask that?" Kris asked softly. "Have you not moved on?"
"You think I'm pining for a high school relationship after five years?" she countered.
It was fairly easy to blurt out what she was feeling and she swallowed after the words came out. It was too late to take them back now and the urge to slap her was coming back strong. "I never stopped loving you and I regret not going with you. It was a stupid decision and… I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you back when I have no right to even say such a thing but it's how I feel."
"I don't know what to say."
Elizabeth swallowed. "Do you feel the same way about me?"
"I'll always love you, Elizabeth but I've changed and so have you! You're not the eighteen year old I left behind and the same goes for me."
"I really hope you're not trying to tell me I'm confused."
"I'm trying to say that maybe your feelings aren't what you think they are. It's been over five years Elizabeth."
"Sometimes I think I may just be holding on to what was but spending time with you again makes me think my feelings are real. Cecilia was the one who kept pushing for me to be up front about my feelings."
The drive was silent after that and she drove quickly to her apartment building. Glancing over at Kris, she swallowed and leaned over to kiss her. "I'm sorry for that and for saying anything in the first place, Kris. I know I screwed everything up again and for that, I apologize… again," she muttered. "Looks like Cecilia's magic bra didn't work out after all…"
Nodding, Kris muttered a goodbye and Elizabeth quickly climbed out of the car, regretting her lame joke. As she watched her drive away, she realized that she had acted irrationally and it was stupid of her. She had made a foolish decision and once alone in her apartment she slapped herself.
"Is everything okay?" Cecilia asked as she came in that night. Sitting next to the sulking redhead, she nudged her and tilted her head to the side when Elizabeth failed to even glance at her. "Elizabeth, talk to me please."
"I said I still loved her and then kissed her."
Cecilia gasped. "Did she fall to her knees and beg you to sweep her off her feet and U-haul with her all the way to California, the gay capital of the United States?"
"No, I was pretty much rejected."
"Well did you enjoy kissing her?"
"I did but it was different."
"Kisses normally feel differently when you get older. You get better at it with age," Cecilia remarked.
Staring, Elizabeth couldn't help but break out into a fit of laughter. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better Cecilia."
She nodded. "In all seriousness though… call or something. You don't want to ruin a perfectly good friendship that's just getting back on track."
Elizabeth went to bed that night debating on what to do. In a few nights she was going to be gone and Elizabeth was going to feel like an even bigger ass. Their mutual friend, Ryan was already a bit pissed at her because she had acted so irrationally but she just ignored his angry texts and told him to mind his own business.
In the morning or within the next few days she was going to try to talk to her if she could but that was only if she would talk to her. She didn't know how it was going to go but she hoped it would be okay because despite her confused feelings for Kris, she did want to remain a small part in her life. Reaching for her phone the next morning she did call her but sighed when it went straight to voicemail.
During all this, she was acting like a teenager again and maybe that was the whole problem. Shaking her head, she tried calling Kris again and after the third time, she pretty much got the impression that she was ignoring her. It was like five years ago all over again.
"Finally, you agree to see me. After two days I was thinking you were avoiding me," Elizabeth muttered. Her mother's wedding was the next day and then Kris would be leaving. They didn't have much time left and she was caught by surprise when she called her out of the blue that afternoon during her break.
"I'm sorry. I suppose I was freaked out over what happened and it's not very mature of me to avoid you."
Giving her a look, Elizabeth allowed Kris to take her to the park where they had spent a lot of their teenage years when they were hiding their relationship from everyone. It had been a stressful year but a thrilling one at that.
"Kris-" Elizabeth started to say, her words cut off when Kris turned to her and kissed her, hard. Breaking the kiss, she panted softly and stared at her in shock. "What are you doing?"
"Kissing you. What does it look like?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "I thought this is what caused problems in the first place!" she muttered. "God, Cecilia would have a damn field day with this. She'd probably tell me to put on my magic underwear and all those stupid rainbow accessories and clothing she's bought me over the years and then harness the power of the ancient lesbian goddesses or something insane like that."
"Elizabeth, do you realize what you just said?"
"Yes, and I apologize for it. Cecilia makes me crazy sometimes."
Kris chuckled. "You just mentioned Cecilia again."
"Ever since we've been hanging out this week, she's all you seem to talk about and whenever you do, you get this little smile on your face."
"I don't understand."
She sighed. "Elizabeth, you're using our relationship as a crutch because you're afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone again. You may still have feelings for me but not in the way you used too. The one you want is that crazy woman you like to mention all the time."
"You have to be kidding me, Kris! Do you actually think I have feelings for Cecilia?"
"Yes, I do," Kris said, leaning forward to kiss her again but before she could, Elizabeth stopped her. "See?"
"Holy Portia Lee James DeGeneres. I'm in love with Cecilia."
Kris laughed. "Did Cecilia give you that one too?"
The red head groaned. "See, she's infectious!"
"I like her. She's a bit odd but she seems like a really great person and has your best interests at heart."
"I don't know if she feels the same way though," Elizabeth confessed. "She did at one time but…"
"Trust me, she does Elizabeth. I've seen the way she looks at you. Why else would she be so insistent on trying to get you back with me? She thinks it will make you happy and that's all she wants."
"I'm twenty three and I still can't tell when someone likes me. What is wrong with me?"
Kris laughed. "You may be the book smart one but I'm smarter then you in other ways."
Giving her a look, Elizabeth hugged Kris suddenly and kissed her cheek. "Keep in touch, okay? We may not have what we used too but I want us to be friends again."
She went back to the apartment and found herself staring at Cecilia in a strange manner. It was hard to believe that she had feelings for this weirdo who sometimes liked to crawl into bed with her and often said the strangest things but just thinking about it made her smile.
"Is something wrong?" Cecilia asked.
"I'm smiling. What could be wrong?"
"You're looking at me strangely."
"I just had an interesting talk with Kris."
Cecilia smiled. "Did you two finally work things out?"
"Yes, we did."
"Tell me what happened!"
"I wished her good luck in California and told her to keep in touch," Elizabeth said as she sat next to Cecilia. "Oh, and she helped me figure out I love you."
"That's good… what?"
"I said I love you and please don't make me repeat it because I just figured it out and am a little saddened by the fact that I just figured it out!"
Cecilia shifted and looked down at her hands. "I never stopped loving you, you know and it killed me to push you towards that woman but that that you seemed happiest with."
"I thought that was the case but I was just afraid of hurting someone else Cecilia, though I guess I failed at that because I'm fairly sure I hurt you."
The blonde shook her head. "You didn't," she assured her as she leaned over to kiss her. After kissing her for a few seconds she pulled away. "So did you kiss her?"
"How many times did she kiss you?"
Cecilia swallowed. "Who kisses better?"
"I'm going to have to say Kris."
"Elizabeth Walker you are an ass!" Cecilia shrieked as she grabbed a pillow and hit her with it. After a few moments, she stopped and then kissed her again. "I'm really happy right now Elizabeth and you know what would make me even happier?"
"Tickets to The Ellen DeGeneres Show?"
"Well that would make me really happy but right now getting you out of those clothes would make me really, really happy."
Giving her a look, Elizabeth obliged her request and kissed Cecilia, encouraging her to stand as they stumbled into her bedroom, pulling at each other's clothes. As she pulled off her shirt, Cecilia paused and stared at her which caused Elizabeth to shift slightly in embarrassment. "Why are you staring at me?"
"Your boobs look great encased in rainbow."
"… Be quiet, Cecilia," she muttered, kissing her in case she said anything stranger which would ruin the mood they had going.