Diary Entry #500

"You ever wonder what it'd be like to be a vampire. To kill, murder and destroy everything in your path? Some of us have that opportunity...

Some of us risk things from our human lives to live and survive in the darkness. I know whoever reads this will never believe that this is serious but it is.

Sunlight-We will burn up in two seconds if one sun beam hits us. I do miss the warmth on my skin and somewhat of a tan. But most importantly...WE DO NOT SPARKLE

Food-Human food taste completely different when you are dead. Everything has a tangy taste and we don't really need it. Fruit is the best bet as long as it's sweet

Crosses-Looking at them does nothing at all, touching is a different story. Imagine putting your hand in a fireplace. Crosses will burn into our skin if it makes contact

Mirrors-Lucky us. We have the ability to control our reflections by turning them on and off. It can come in handy

Healing-We do have quick healing but it will leave a mark. If we get cut the wound will heal up fine. But it will look like a human cut until a scab forms and goes away

This you can cross off of your list:

Garlic

Running water (Fresh or salt)

Salt

Turning into any sort of animal

Flying

I'm not saying that being a vampire is good or bad. You can be a killing machine and have a problem with blood...Blood addicts. You can be a vampire that keeps quiet and lives in a town...Fright Night. Feed off of animals...Stefan Salvatore. Become famous...Lestat De Lioncourt. Run some sort of funky vampire bar...Eric Northman. The list goes on with people playing vampires but we suffer with consequences.

If anyone tries to publish these diaries, I have a piece of advice. Lucky you. Who is actually going to believe these stories. My name is already in history along with all the other Drago's. Most of my diaries are Russian anyway so get a translator. This is a very rare one of English because I hardly can read what this stuff says.

On a serious note. The definition of salvation. The act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss and destruction. Or simply saving the soul from sin.

"A man cannot free himself from the past more easily than he can from his own body"-Andre Maurois

"As long as you keep getting born; It's alright to die sometimes"-Orson Scott Card.

Rebirth. The process of being reincarnated or born again.

"To die and part is a less evil; But to part and live, there, there is the torment"-George Lansdowne

Immortal. Destine to live in all ages of this world. One exempt from death, decay or annihilation.

"Fear makes us feel our humanity"-Benjamin Disraeli

Humanity. The quality or condition of being human.

"No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow"-Euripides

Death. The act of dying

Salvation. Immortality. Humanity. Death. Rebirth

If you want to know how to sum up vampires, use those words. These five quotes can be a perfect example on our reality. All those words can be put into all of us and even the fake ones that people watch. Think about it. When you become a vampire you die. DEATH. You live forever and become invincible. REBIRTH, IMMORTALITY. We do still have emotions and the killings can wreck us. HUMANITY, SALVATION. But if you want a deeper look into it, I will explain.

All of us seek salvation at some point in our lives. Speaking of being human or a vampire, it doesn't matter. When you sell your soul it is hard to get it back. You can sell your soul by doing something so bad but just remember you had a choice. I didn't. For us vampires it is harder to be saved. We commit a sin when we kill but we cannot help it. We need to live and that is the only way to eat. I think it is pretty amusing that my name even has the word sin in it. That definition gave a few examples that also relate to us. We put ourselves in harm, Risk our identities and destruct ourselves every minute we walk the earth.

We earn the right to immortality when we become monsters. We will outlive everyone around unless a stake decides to come around. We avoid becoming sick and as I said earlier, we heal quickly. The only way to kill us is a stake through the heart...Or decapitation. The stake can be wood, metal, a knife...Or you could easily tear the heart from our body that works also. But living forever can always be a good thing, or bad. Just when it comes to the year 2105 and there are robots...I will worry.

I've seen and read plenty of things that make vampires ruthless monsters. That is not always the case because our emotions never go away. Unless you were a serial killer and had no remorse. People think that vampires lose their humanity once turned and it stays that way. That is a lie because all of us feel humanity. Killing others may not seem like a human quality but there always is a part of me that holds guilt. You have to hide the remorse you feel because otherwise you will come off as weak.

Everyone dies at some point in life. You have life that flashes in front of yours eyes, you see the white light. When I died my body shut down. I didn't feel anything at all. When we risk ourselves that is basically putting us in a death match. Anyone can know our secret and try to kill us quickly. We drink the blood off other living humans so we can live like zombies. We have already died and we will forever stay dead. No we cannot reproduce either, well I haven't met any vampire children. Vampires are basically the opposite of the human body...Well we still do breathe but are cold to the touch. If you ever become a vampire, you'll understand.

We face near death experiences just like any other human. A stake close to the heart will freeze up out body because it tends to rub on the edges. It seems like every time we are saved, we change. Something in us tries to do things differently and tries to be more careful. We were also reborn when we turned. We were all faced with new challenges, traits and things we've wised for. I think that ever few years we all get reborn, human or not. We all find something that we stick with for a while and then it fades. When I was a little girl I loved horses. A few years after that I became fond of paintings. The list can go on and I consider that being reborn. We change what we like or we don't. As a vampire you change lots of things in your life and we just have to face it.

Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen. Listen to the song or look up the lyrics and find them yourself. I prefer the Breaking Benjamin cover but it is the same thing. The real question is do you want to live forever? Would you sacrifice everything that you have now and take the step. No one else is living until the end of time except you. Like I said before, some people get choices on this life style. I didn't. Neither did my brother Nikolai. Carter and Gabe took the chance because they had nothing left. Carah debated on that question a lot. To live or die….That is the question.

Carter…Where to even start with him. First off, He is somewhat of my boyfriend. Now when I say that, it may or may not be a good thing. We have had a relationship train wreck for the last one hundred and twelve years. He is the one that put this little group The Shadows together. We call ourselves that because some local town folk do. Technically vampires do hide in the shadows so deal with the name. Anyways…Carter tends to be protective and angry. I have had plenty of experience so this is a warning.

Gabe. Sweet loveable Gabriel. FACT. He is the only brunette in our group. FACT. I know something about him that Carter doesn't know. He is the one that turned him and I'm surprised he doesn't know through blood. I would tell you but I don't want to give you the secret…Maybe you'll find out later. Other wards, He is a good guy.

Nikolai. My little brother. It is my fault that he is a vampire and I'm sure you will find out why at some point I'm sure. Nik and I have got along more when we were vampires than humans. We had different paths going for both of us and he was too busy with himself. We promised that we with always protect, fight and die for each other while we last. We remain part of the Drago royalty and we like it that way.

Just for the warning, do not go out of your way to find us. You not ask to become one of us either. We only pick the right people and asking just doesn't do much. I would be glad to answer anything thought except because one of us. There is much more you can learn about this world and what is in it. FYI…Werewolves and Hybrids exist.

Well…I don't have really anything else to say. I'm thinking that this will be the closing for this entry so until next time friend.

Аксинья Анастасия Драгo

Aksinya Anastasia Drago