|The Awkward Life Of Juliet Forbes
Author: Hoes Before Broes PM
Juliet Forbes. blunt girl and wild, hunky bad boy. What couldn't go wrong? Oh just your average Dad who's Crazy, a physco queen bee, a sexy but sadly Homosexual stalker and four VERY, VERY, VERY awkward hot boys who all want Juliet . Love sucks.Rated: Fiction T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,353 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 08-03-12 - id: 3047325
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Dakota lied. I wouldn't see him twice a day, oh you know just every 7 classes or so, until the day we graduated. Oh My God, So F-U-N Funny! Your wrong and I hate you. This isn't funny, you sick, demented monster!
Okay I didn't mean it, you have a great personality and your a joy to be around. Anyway this FREAK is in . . .
Do the abundance usage of periods get my ANGRY point across? Sort-of? Good.
He doesn't even talk to me, just his jock friends and his groupies. Yeah, I'm hatein'. Respect it don't neglect it.
So I'm just sitting here, in Math mind you, and ignoring the jerk next to me. See as Dakota is sort of the strong, silent type, Brantley Hewitt is the 'I'm going to hit on you and sexually harass you because i think i'm so damn sexy and special just because my mom tells me so everyday' type of guy, catch my drift?
He's very cliche.
His hair is curly, dark blonde (pushing brown I might add) and his eyes are annoyingly honey-whiskey brown, and he has a nice tan, and a perfect smile, and he has broad shoulders, and he has lots of muscles. He's to perfect. It's freaky. But then you add on the fact he has the personality and temper of a horny bull and the perfectness is just like "Thought I was charming? Not for long mutha-fucker!"
For instance, he is currently staring at my chest...and smirking. What? Is he proud of my boobs? Boys are ru-tards.
"Like what you see?" I licked my top lip and winked at him.
Brantley grinned, as if to say 'I knew you'd want me to bang you! My mom wasn't lying when she said I was Awesome!'.
"Then grow a pair of your own, creeper," I snapped.
He laughed and reasted his head on the palm of his hands, "You have a hot voice."
"God, Will you listen to yourself? You get horny about EVERYTHING!"
Brantley winked at me and grinned, "Maybe, Maybe not. But This hole 'get horny about everything' problem started when I first saw you, so give me a break."
That whole sentence was somehow a sexual innuendo. I know...I'm mind-blown too.
"Are You going to D.J.'s pool party?" Brantley inquired, his eyes flicking from some skimpyily dressed girl to me.
I shrugged, "Maybe..."
"Well," Brantley winked at me and made a not-so-subtle bicep flex, "Call me if you need a ride."
Science went exactly like that but the boy had black hair, dark blue eyes with eletric green around the pupils, tall, broad shoulders, and swimmer's build. He was hot too. Wtf . Where's a ugly boy when you need one ?
He reminded me of one of those fat, mean cats that just assume there the shit, with there stupid adorable fluffy tails and when you pet them they go ape-shit on your innocent hand.
He didn't appear interested in me at all, but I couldn't tell what he was feeling because he had cryptic eyes and a good poker-face.
We shot looks out of the corner of our eyes but said nothing. Guys at this school are freaks. Hello single and not ready to mingle high school year.
I turned to Mr. I'm-One-Cool-Son-Of-A-bitch and nodded, cocking an eyebrow ever so slightly, his voice was like his eye color-whiskey smooth, a lazy southern drawl.
"Nice to meet you," His eyes flicked over me and his lips quirked up slightly when he added on an annoyingly charming, "Darlin'."
I turned in my seat and stared at him, like right by his face until he got annyed and snapped to face me.
"See how annoying it is to have some check you out," I pulled back and added on with a charming smile, "Darlin'."
There was a silent 'Touche' and we both turned away.
Now I bet your wondering how Gym went right? We played dodge-ball.
Now I'm not bad at Dodge-ball, but the girls on my team were to busy flouncing around in tiny slips of spandex pants to notice that, Hey! OMG! There's a game going on! Who knew right?
It was basically me and three other people who were actually trying to peg the shit out of someone on the other side.
In my case it was a guy who threw a ball and smacked me right in my butt when I was picking up more balls (The coach called it a foul...Pervs are evry where here!)
So now I was trying to peg him right in his grill. but he kept easily side-stepping them.
He was tall, about 6'4, a super muscled, with the shoulder's of a line-backer. He had the American Boy look down to the T, ear-length messy golden blonde hair, aquamarine blue eyes, golden skin, perfect shiny white teeth, Nike torso to toe.
"You suck at throwin'!"
I huffed and threw the ball as hard as I could, he easily ducked and smirked at me.
"YOU SUCK," I yelled back, "There's only 3 other people on my team who aren't twirling there hair and skipping the frick around, SO SCREW YOU!"
"I need a date first," The boy fluttered his eye lashes and said in a high, flasetto voice, all the while side-stepping another ball, "I'm a lady ."
Then we had to run laps, and not to brag or anything, but I was like the only girl who could keep up with the rest of the group out of the class.
Then Captain America showed up, his jog easy and mocking next to mine.
I shot him a side-ways glare and he just grinned at me. Is this guy retarted, or what?
"Fine day we're having," He continued, " I'm Beck Callaway."
"Juliet Forbes," I divulged, not turning to look at him as we circled the football field for the second time, "Nice to meet you Becky."
Then I picked up the pace and dissapeared in the semi-sweaty , jogging boys.
x.x.x.x.x Later That Night, Forbes Household
"I WISH I HAD JESSIE'S GIRL!" If anyone would of saw big-time CEO Jack Forbes spinning around in a frilly apron singing an old Rick Springfield, they would flip their scripts.
"Dad why are you wearing an apron just to grill like 5 steaks?"
"Bug," My dad said in a sing-song voice, "Everyone knows this is how you make steaks the right way, my buddies are coming over tonight for the super-bowl, and since your SO socially awkward I asked them to bring there kids over."
"What are we supposed to do?" I asked snidely while I jumped on the pool trampaoline, my long hair flying up and sending water droples all over the pavement, "Play Marco Polo."
My Dad actually squealed, "BRILLIANT BUG! I knew you weren't a COMPLETE one-man wolf pack, You actually know how to socialize."
Dad of course didn't know I mocking him, so he switched into a AMAZING redndition of Before He Cheats By Carrie Underwood.
See My Dad's super smart, but he has the maturity level of a 16 year old boy, that's all fine and dandy, but he has the scary mad side and you never see it coming it's just like...BAM!
He gets mad over two things in life: Me and Football.
So I thought it was an amazing idea to go swimming during his angry time. When Dad's friends arrived, all I saw was like two 13 year olds, three five year olds and then a group huddled on the porch.
The group was tall, and all clad in trunks, so I guess one thirteen year old was my only ally.
"What's That?" Lacey (I swear to Jesus That's her real name) inquired.
"A pool trampoline," I replied in an noncholant 'duh' voice.
"Canwejumponit?!" They all begged.
We were all stationed behind the diving board, me very last since I liked a running start and when my turn came I did a semi-frontflip when I landed Trampoline then I went catapulting (Much to the kids already soaking wet and hopping around by the diving board amazement.
It was like flying...then I came down with an unlady-like laugh, making sure to bunch up so I soaked the group on the porch.
When I came back up I found that Lacey had invented a new game, run, jump, hit pool-trampoline, and Juliet will catch you.
Jaq, the other 13, was tall for his age, cute and had muscles already forming, appeared uncomfortable with the idea of a girl catching him.
"You're a sexist."
He shook his head (his poor cheeks were flaming red) studied the dark green grass intently.
The group by the porch had migrated to the Cook-out area and we're enjoying my Dad's beers (rude right, they act like they can just kick it in my crib and be cool).
Eventuallty I had to get out of the pool because My dad was standing on the porch looking POed.
"BUG! BE A GOOD HOSTESS!"
We glared at each other, "STOP CALLING ME BUG WHEN WE'RE IN PUBLIC!"
"THEN I'M STAYING IN THE POOL!"
My dad huffed and stormed over to the Too Cool For School crew, a pleasant smile pasted on his face.
I caught words like 'Shy' 'not ver sociable' 'one-man wolf pack' (He called me that first remeber?) ' and finally 'she needs more friends, go swim'.
Do you know how much pride it takes to swim with a bunch of little kids when there's a group of teenagers your own age ignoring you? If you do well...Your a brave person, and when you get to Heaven to kick it with Tupac, You'll get to swim with as many little kids (as long as your not a pedophile) as you want and laugh whilst they burn in hell.
Do you remeber in Twilight when James, Vicky, and Lauren walked into the base-ball field all slow-mo and moronic? Yeah that's how the Too Cool For School crew looked in my head.
"Becky," I spat, glaring at the blonde boy with every evil fiber of my being.
His grin wasn't even fazed.
"Told you he was just a flat-chested transvestite," One guy replied, looking from a guy with aviators to me and after a second I recognized him...Mean cat ring a bell?
"I know you," I nodded, my lips pursed, "You're the guy who reminded me of one of those fat, cute cats who always fuck your hand up when you try to pet them."
He blinked, his lips twitching with an unsupressed 'wtf' I'm sure.
"Nice to meet you," He tipped his snap-back at me, "Again."
I stared at him pointedly before looking at his friends, "Why does he do that?"
"What?" A brunette peered at his friends face, looking for what I was seeing.
"Never say his name," I raised my eyebrows, "Unless you have a girl name like Becky over here."
Becky grinned, "Nope, His name's just freaky, right O-"
O- did this wierd glare thing and Becky shut up, still grinning though, "Shy?"Becky fluttered his eye lashes and did his girl voice again.
My skin is crawling. Eww.
"Oscar?" Becky shook his head. "Omar?" Nope. "Oden?" Nope. "Orange?" Nada.
Becky made a wave motion with his arm, and the mysterious O just stared at us like we were complete idiots, Stoned-Brunette guy was staring intently at the grass.
"Waves..." I paused, my lips pursed, "Beach?"
Beck made an O with his hands and smirked at ...OCEAN!"
"Your name's Ocean?" I patted his timberland clad-foot pittingly, "No wonder you didn't want me to know."
Becky laughed and Ocean shoved him in the water, his tan cheeks had faint red splotches decorating them and I realized he was b-l-u-s-h-i-n-g.
An. Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten ! I'm glad you like the story so far ! The end to this chapter was...ehhh...But I'm working on it! (: I'll try and start chapter 3 soo, I need to work on some of my other stories.