Lazarus

I died, in that beginning
and it hurt so much
to see them cry. I wanted
to shout let me go and
it's okay and
it hurts that the tomb

was empty and dark and
I couldn't fill
my new home
though I tried to hang
my memories on the ridges
and lay my faith on the floor
so that on cold nights, I could
pretend it was still warm

Oh God, find
me, find
me.

Four days
itching in my decay
Four days
of not-running
Four days
of not-seeing
Four days
of not-breathing.
All I wanted
was light and a voice

for those without one,
my own not enough
to speak, so he spoke instead

and the stone
in my throat
rolled away. I opened
my eyes, standing
in a single ray of light
out of thousands
from the sun.