|Cold Slide Under
Author: Dianaartemis PM
It was not an obsession, it was a hobby. It didn't consume my life, nor did it occupy my every thought. It was simply an interest of mine. And it wasn't shameful. Many people did it, even if they did tend to be fourteen years old. There was nothing wrong with enjoying reading a book about a teenage girl falling in love with a vampire.Rated: Fiction T - English - Angst/Friendship - Words: 4,360 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 08-08-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3048933
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Just a note that this short story isn't intended to be a criticism of Twilight fanfiction or those who write Twilight fanfiction. I write Twilight fanfiction (link in my profile). It is, however, teasing and poking fun at the Twilight fan community in general. That being said, whether you are a fan of Twilight or not, I hope you will still enjoy the story.
Cold Slide Under
i saw your pm about you looking for a beta. I saw you havnt posted anything yet, but the summary you sent sounds awesome! plus, Im taking a break from a couple of rps, so got a lot of time this summer for betaing lol so just send me the first chap wheneves and well go from there! can't wait to starting working with someone new!
It sounded like an email written in less than a minute by a thirteen year old, but it still made my stomach feel tight with nervous excitement. It had taken an embarrassing amount of courage to compose an email to the somewhat-famous internet writer and beta, XXeveningstarsXX. Then to receive such a carelessly written reply, I should have been more disappointed. But to gain a beta, an Internet amateur editor, of such knowledge, experience, and popularity, without having anything posted to prove my worth, I had a right to be proud. There really was no one better in the world of Twilight fanfiction.
"Have you looked into that internship at Sessler?"
"I've already told you, I'm not qualified for it. I don't know anything about marketing."
"But it wouldn't hurt to apply."
"Mom, I don't want to. It would be pointless."
A silence and I looked down at my book.
"I just want you to do something more than working part-time at the Home Depot."
"It's fine. I'm making money at least."
"But don't you want to do more? You're a college graduate, there's more out there than a cash register."
"I also work in the stockroom."
It was not an obsession, it was a hobby. It didn't consume my life, nor did it occupy my every thought. It was simply an interest of mine. And it wasn't shameful. Many people did it, even if they did tend to be fourteen years old. There was nothing wrong with enjoying reading a book about a teenage girl falling in love with a vampire.
With mass media attention and public insanity, it was only a matter of time before a trip to the used bookstore would buy me a two dollar copy of a cultural phenomenon. Then, only after several hours of reading and two days in denial, I realized that not only did I like the pinnacle of Stephenie Meyer's creativity, but it was one of the most enjoyable reads I'd had in a long time.
So I read the rest of the series, and then read it over again. There was something addictive about Bella and the way everything came together for her. It suddenly became a weekly routine to pick up one of the books from my shelf and flip through my favorite passages. It was a reward for finishing homework, a relaxation before bed, and a small piece of enjoyment on a bad day. But there was a hunger within me, percolating beneath the surface of my consciousness. It would take a graduation, a rejection, and a complete loss of dignity for that hunger to grow into an uncontrollable need.
Bio: Hey ya'll! I've been at for a little over five years now (I know, its crazy long), but for those who don't know me, a short intro!
Name: XXeveningstarsXX! But call me starsXX!
Favorite food: chocolate! everything chocolate!
Ship: Edward/Bella of course! the truelove pairing!
Fics: Diary of the Teenage Dream, my baby! There are three books (so far) and by far my most popular fic. It's AH (all human for you newbies!) and full of drama, humor, and love of course! Think gossip girl meeting twilight. Yeah its pretty awesome!
News: Not writing at the moment. Lots of betaing though! pm me if you need a beta!
Feel free to pm me or email me! I love meeting people and making new friends. I also twilight rp like crazy, so if your interested, contact me!
It was Ted's idea, I'd like to believe, to start my own writing. He worked in the stockroom and was talking about how his family was putting a new addition on the house. "It's to make the kitchen larger. My mom's hated ours for years cause it's fucking cramped in there, but we couldn't afford a new house or anything. So my dad finally saved up enough to make it bigger. It's annoying as fuck to have our house under construction."
Ted was nineteen and going to community college, having little ambition for a larger university. He was nice though, even if he liked to complain about how his friends all got to have their own places while he still had to live with his parents. I told him that even after graduating from college, I still lived with my parents.
"Well, fuck me, Anna." He grinned. "And we always had such great expectations for the snooty Lit Major."
Title: Waning Crescent
Summary: The saga continues!Bella and Edward are ready for their happily ever after, but when Renesmee disappears, everything changes.A kidnapper?A runaway?And when you have the dangerous Volturi looking for her too, they cannot waste a single moment!Canonpairings
In my last year of college, the first rejection hurt, but the second wasn't as bad. I found it became easier and easier to open the letters or check my email to find that I simply wasn't needed for the job, the internship, or the opportunity. There were great excuses, most of them I made for myself. I knew I wasn't qualified enough. The economy was bad. I needed more experience.
I came home from college and unpacked my clothes and books. My mother packed away my dishes and spare bed sheets. I took down the posters in my room and rearranged the furniture. I closed the window and shut the curtains. My mother pretended to not be disappointed.
"It'll be good to have you home for another year or so. Just keep working hard and next year will be better."
And I turned on my computer.
OMg! Great story! Update soon!
This story sounds fantastic! I am hosting a twilight roleplay, you should totally join us! Just look at my profile for more info and send me a pm!
things are really starting to move in the second chapter! Jus be careful to not get too crazy with bellas thoughts.
ex: (Everything was perfect. My life, love, family. I had it all. How could everything become so messed up? I never could have imagined losing it all so easily. My life was at a standstill. My daughter, my beautiful daughter was missing and we could only assume the worst. I wasn't the same. I was irritable with Edward and nearly vicious to Jacob. They didn't understand this pain. I was lost, as lost as Renesmee.)
Its not bad, but dont you think edward would also be feeling the pain? and jacob imprinted on renesmee too (im not a big jacob fan, but he still needs to be addressed) your doing great with bellas pov most of the time, just dont get so centered around it. Even if you dont write from other chars povs, try thinking about it more.
More comments in the doc!
"What classes are you signing up for?" I asked.
Ted thought by running a hand through his hair. "Uh, just a pottery and a chem class."
I was searching for more eco-friendly light bulbs, my hands trailing the shelves. Ted was cleaning up some glass that had been dropped. "You into pottery?"
In my peripheral vision, I saw him shrugging. "Nah, but I didn't know what to take and my dad would've fuckin' chewed me out for only taking one class" I turned towards him and he grinned. "Pottery's a blow-off class anyway. Mostly filled with retired old people with nothing better to do."
I turned back to the shelf, spying the elusive light bulbs against the wall. I could barely touch them with my fingers. Ted came up behind me and grabbed them. "Maybe I'll take a pottery class too," I blurted.
"What?" He was taller than me and I had to look up.
"I've got nothing better to do anyway."
He handed me several boxes and I noticed his eyes were very green. "Cool."
I had received an overwhelming amount of comments and favorites for a few short chapters, but the profiles of the people giving me all this praise made me hesitate. All of them were probably in Junior High and filled their personal bios with mindless ramblings and typos. I found several versions of the Team Edward pledge and girls swearing to Stephenie Meyer as their personal religion. These were the people who praised me as a great author.
But it still felt good somehow.
omg! fav part was 'Couldn't I have everything? What was wrong with wishing for my personal happy ending? I know the problem is me now. I'm the imperfect part of the perfect happily ever after. I gave birth to perfection and without her, I won't fit in the picture anymore. I'm the broken piece in the puzzle.' Its so sad! Cant believe bella would just leave everyone! Cant wait for next part!
"I'm taking a couple of classes at the community college."
"Just thought it would be better than doing nothing."
"There's nothing wrong with taking a year off after college."
"I know, they are just some English classes and an art class."
My mother looked up from the dishes. I didn't like how she always wiped her soapy hands on the dishtowels. "Really?"
I pretended to consider the rest of my milk at the bottom of the glass. "Looks like fun."
She was wiping her hands and I wondered if she could feel the dried soap between her fingers. "What do you do all day?"
"You work part-time. I mean the rest of the day. You're always locked in your room."
I decided there were no milk dregs at the bottom of my glass and put it down. "A little writing."
"Do you not believe anything I say?"
She turned back to the dishes, putting the dried ones away. "Anything good?"
I had five chapters, seventy-five comments, and over two hundred favorites. "It's just for fun."
Ted spent most of the class checking texts. I spent most of the class picking wet clay from under my nails. He was right, it was a total blow-off class. The teacher gave a brief demonstration on preparing clay for a bowl, then set us loose for an hour to try to recreate it.
"Who are you texting?"
"Ex," he mumbled, typing furiously. "Sometimes she won't fucking leave me alone."
I kneaded the clay, trying to look productive. "What's she saying?"
He rolled his eyes and shoved the phone back into his pocket. "She's just a bitch." He punched the clay. "Is this too dry?"
"Looks fine." I made a small snowman, but his head kept falling off. "Do you work tomorrow?"
"I think it's too dry. No, you?"
"Yeah, the morning shift. I'll be so bored."
He rolled his eyes. "The stockroom is always boring. I'm going to get more water."
Sorry about getting back late, some things came up and I couldnt get to your newest chappie right away. just a couple of overall comments: theres been a lot of foreshadowing here, just wanted to be sure you are going to follow it up! also also, give bella more action, she has a TON of internal thoughts right now. she could use a bit more action.
The parts with edward and jacob working together are awesome though! your edward is great! you are doing good with this multiple povs, perhaps give the volturi a section?
more specific comments in the doc.
Also also, things are getting kinda crazy here so i cant beta the next chap for another month or so. Sorry! keep up the great work!
"Are you depressed?"
I looked up from the computer. My mother was in the doorway, holding a mug of coffee. She would only drink it when she was stressed. "No, why?"
"You don't go anywhere, besides work and class. And I haven't seen any of your friends around."
I glanced at my computer, wondering if I should close the document. "My friends are busy and live far away. I email them."
"What are you doing?"
She was standing behind me, but I only had solitaire up. "Taking a break, I was working on a midterm paper."
"We could go somewhere. Like shopping?"
I re-shuffled the deck. It was a hopeless game. "I don't need anything."
"I heard the library is offering an internship."
"I've never worked at the library before. And it's unpaid."
She put a hand on my shoulder. "But maybe it could lead to a better position. Something full-time?"
"Are you happy?"
It wasn't a matter of being happy or unhappy. I was a college graduate with a part time job at Home Depot. I lived with my parents. In my free time I wrote Twilight fanfiction to the delight of the preteen masses. "Maybe I'll try the library."
wow, this is amazing! Im not really into twilight that much, but a friend recommended this story to me. the characters are amazing and your Bella is so interesting! She is almost half insane sometimes, but still like the character in the book. I looooove Edward in this chapter when he found her. It was almost like Bella was waiting for him to show up and save her! Your Bella and Edward are so romantic. Cant wait for next update!
fav part! 'The moment I saw him, I knew I had been wrong to leave. Edward was my other half, my reason for living and not living. Together we could find Renesmee, I could see that now. He was my drive and she my purpose.'
I carefully put my clay cup in the drying rack. It leaned lopsided on one side, but I just pretended it was a pitcher. Ted was currently battling with his cell phone, his forgotten cup missing a handle. He put it on the rack anyway.
"Man, I don't want to deal with this shit." He shut off his phone and rolled his eyes. "I'm not going home to that."
"What is it?"
"Just some shit from my dad. You wanna bum around for a bit?"
Without driving half an hour, the only place to hang around was the courtyard on the other side of campus. Ted seemed content with the crooked park bench and relaxed on the seat, fumbling around for a cigarette.
"I didn't know you smoked."
He shrugged, the cigarette hanging limply from his mouth. "My parents give me shit for it, but I don't give a fuck."
The bench was cold even though it was warm today. "They usually like that?" I looked at his pocket, where his phone was.
He found his lighter. "They used to be more chill when I was in high school. Then I dropped out of college and suddenly they're always on my case."
"You dropped out?" I had always thought he immediately went to community college.
He rolled his eyes, taking a drag. "More like flunked out, I guess. I just hated the classes, you know?"
"I miss the dorms mostly, just getting out of the house. But then I lost my scholarship and my parents were freaking out and I was just like, fuck it." He tapped his cigarette on the bench.
"What're you doing now?"
He still had clay under his nails. I looked away from his hands. "I mean, when do you complete your degree here?"
"Shit, some kind of inquisition here?" But his tone only half cared. "I dunno, whenever my parents realize that I just don't give a fuck."
His phone vibrated and he took it out of his pocket, rolling his eyes and swearing under his breath. I noticed he was wearing an old, ragged t-shirt with a high school logo. But then I realized that I was wearing an old shirt from high school too. "I have to go now."
He was staring at a recent text. "It's just my ex. Man, what a crazy bitch."
I stood up. "I said I have to go now."
He leaned back. "Alright, whatever." He didn't look up.
I got your email about the hiatus. Writers blocks killer! Dont worry about it. Hey maybe next month will be better!
It was more than a month, it was four. It wasn't terrible, in the great scheme of authors having slow updates. But my readers were impatient, especially since I was so active before. There was a problem with the plot. I hadn't really thought about the end of the story before I started writing.
It had seemed so easy to write in the beginning. Bella and Edward's daughter, Renesmee, went missing suddenly and they had to find her. It was so simple, like following a formula. But Bella became such a finicky character to write. Her dialogue with her husband and friends was awkward and stilted. I ended up removing her from them entirely and it took me several chapters to figure out how she could be reunited with them. In the end Edward became her rescuer, and everything became easy again. They found Renesmee, but she wasn't what they were expecting. Her intentions were never something that Bella considered.
I could feel the conclusion of my story coming, but I wasn't ready. The dialogue was awkward again and I couldn't get Bella to act natural. I was at the end and I felt lost.
whoa! I can't believe nessie would just run away like that! You did it good, but...whoa! She doesn't even care about jacob? I guess I understand... this is killer on bella and edward. But bella seems off. I guess the journey wasn't good on her. I wish she would turn to edward, but shes practically ignoring him! update soon!
I had just stepped out of the shower when it came to me. I had left the window open accidentally so all the warm, humid air leaked out into the winter morning. The bathroom was frigid and the most I could do was wrap my towel around my shoulders and wonder how the hot water in my hair could become like ice so quickly.
I thought about Twilight's vampires, how their skin was so cold. Even rereading the books, I didn't understand how any of them could live to never feel warmth again. They could put on layers and layers of clothes or take scalding showers, but their skin would be cold and resistant. I wondered if they just got used to it and lived their immortal lives just trying to ignore the numbness.
I watched drops of water from my hair drip down my chest, leaving icy trails. I wiped them away with my towel. There was one way for a vampire to feel warmth, and that was to die in flames.
I let the towel drop to the floor and quickly put on my clothes. The words had come to me.
good to see you back. but i have to say, little worried about this chappie. Do you know where your going with this?
(Bella realized that having skin as strong as steel didn't mean her heart couldn't be broken. Or being surrounded by familiar faces, she could still be lonely. She now knew that being immortal never meant she couldn't die.
And for the first time since becoming a vampire she felt the cold slide under her skin and into her bones. She couldn't break them open, but she could burn.)
Title: Waning Crescent
Summary: The saga continues!Bella and Edward are ready for their happily ever after, but when Renesmee disappears, everything when you have the evil Volturi looking for her too, they cannot waste a single moment!WARNING:Char death!
"Do you want to go shopping today?"
My mother slowly put down her book. "What?"
"I don't have class or work. Do you want to go shopping?"
I roll my eyes, trying to seem nonchalant. "Don't sound too excited."
She saw through me. "Are you upset or something?"
I turned over her book, as if I was reading the title. "No, just a bit bored."
She looked at my hand where it rested on the binding. "You're usually on your computer on your free days."
The reception was bad. If there was one way to make the majority of Twilight fans want to stone you, it was to kill Bella Swan. I'm sure even killing Edward wouldn't have provoked such wrath.
Bella is everything to a crazy Twilight fan, she is the fan. Bella is how we can connect to the book, to sparkling vampires and forbidden romances. But I killed her. I let her die and I did nothing to stop it. I murdered Bella Swan.
The comments were harsh at first. Random people I'd never heard from before were flaming me and harassing me. Some people even went as far to spam my pm box. But then my fans, the ones who always commented and gave me support, came in and flat out rejected me. I was removed from favorites, watches, anything they could do to try to erase me.
I had sat for many hours in front of the computer, willing myself to act. I had to fix this. I could bring her back to life. I could redeem myself. Or I could erase it all.
i know you havent been replying but Ive saw the flames and the trolls. Will you pls respond? Im worried about you.
A short reply, I didn't have the strength to deal with her right now. I just wanted to crawl away and forget about it. I told her I was twenty-two and way too old to handle these children. I was way too old to be feeling this naïve.
You're a great author. Do you know that? Even without me you would be really popular. I know I may have given you a...false impression of myself. But I wanted you to know that not all of us in the Twilight fanfiction are teenage girls.
Oh, God, I've never really told anyone this. But I'm thirty-three. I first read the series in my late twenties. I felt really bad at first for falling in love with it. I was pretty miserable at the time, I had just been laid off from work. But I gave in and came to . I've been happy here, even if I tend to act like I'm fourteen in order to fit the stereotypical mold. And I've found, even while I went through a divorce, that there is always comfort here. There is no shame in it, I promise. Stephenie Meyer was no fourteen year old when she wrote these books. Our age doesn't matter, our passions do.
I can tell you love the books as much as I do, so don't give up because of one mishap. Just reread the books, and come back once you feel better. I'll still be here as your beta, if you would like.
A complete loss of dignity. I had forgotten what it was like to feel proud of something, to feel worth in myself. I had been hiding in my room ever since I graduated from college with no prospects and no ambition. I took praise from young girls for an idea that was conceived by a woman I had never met. I deleted Lynn Foster's email after reading it once through. Then I stood up and opened a window.
"Yes?" I walked into my room, the phone pressed against my cheek. My mother stood in the hallway.
"This is the Larson Public Library. I wanted to inform you that we have decided to take you on for our internship. Can you come in next week for training?"
I sat at my computer chair, pressing the phone against my cheek. "Yes, that sounds great."
"Good! We look forward to it. Bye now!"
I turned off the phone. My mother was still waiting in the hallway. She was more anxious than when I applied for colleges. Even though she hadn't realized that I'd applied for the internship until she answered the phone and had to hand it over to me. I would have to quit my job for this unpaid internship, but that was okay. I looked at the computer, an old browser window still up. It had been some time since I'd visited the Twilight community. Lynn Foster had begun to write a new story. It was immensely popular.