I'm always one to try and keep balance in my decision making, my heart holds my morality and my head holds the cold, hard facts. I'm a smart girl I like to believe, if a little clumsy and distracted, and I'm also a goody-two-shoes type of girl. Sure I lie about a few late essays or assignments, but that's mostly it.

Oh, and I have had a heart crushing crush on my music teacher since the summer before freshman year. No biggie.

Liar. My brain argues, you know you two can and will never be. Don't do this to yourself. Please.

I am practically holding myself back from doing anything that will reveal this to him, but it's so damn hard. By God, why me? My heart hurts…I can't stop it, I can't smolder that spark of hope or it might break in half. So I just try to act as normal as possible on my way to his class.

"Morning," he says in his tenor voice, smiling oddly wide.

It's then I realize I probably have the saddest expression in the world plastered on my face.

"Morning…" I reply, managing to quirk the edges of my lips upwards and he laughs, "…I'm trying." For you.

God, you're pathetic.

"Third day of your junior year can't be that bad, what's wrong?" he asks.

"It's nothing, just…relationship problems."

I decided a few weeks before school to tell my boyfriend I couldn't handle a relationship this year, he understood and we're still on good terms. Though I've never felt anything towards him really, he's really kind and I do care, just not like this. Not like this-

Lust. Desire. Craving- shut up. Shut up! I keep walking into the classroom and I hear him say something that makes my heart skip a painful beat.

"What's his name, want me to beat him up for you?"

Why…?

I just force a painful laugh and sit in my seat.

Don't get your hopes up, it will only hurt more.