Understanding

Before I knew world's coldness
It's unforgiving and judging nature
Never have I fathomed
Any sort of coping method
Like I had heard stories about
Or read in books, saw in movies
It all seemed so unreal

But then the world
Made itself known
In all the worst ways
Pain that kept on building
Day by day by day
A darkness that completely
Invades any happy thoughts

And so I caved, unwillingly
One cut, two cuts, three then four
Letting it control me more and more
One letter, two letters, three
Letting a new monster take over me

The world's way has given me
Fresh, horrible understanding
No amount of soap can wash this away
No praying or wishing can evanescent
Such an impossible dream
Or awaken the nightmare

I understand you now
With the scars on your arms
The want to release your pain
The shame it leaves behind
Sleeves and bracelets
Questions and lies
Come to me, because I know
The addiction so hard to hide
The thoughts impossible to stop

I understand you now
With your inability to smile
Your head down as you walk
Through all the days you live
Lean your head on my shoulder
And let yourself cry all you wish
Because I know how it feels
To never know if you will ever smile again
Even just once for a while

I understand you now
With your silent obsession
Watching yourself shrink down
But only seeing yourself ballooning up
Like someone has inflated your thin self
Try your best to ignore
What your head tells you
Delusions and lies
Created by the outside

Perhaps all is for the best
That I was given such suffering
For now I am available
Towards such understanding

Having walked miles and miles
In the world's shoes
That now, I can absorb
The pain others cannot handle
While still battling my own
For I am understanding
Far more than I should be
Yet I am, so I shall be
What choice is there?