|The Idiots of Arizona
Author: Random Writings PM
This is a set of two story's based on my research of two modern nomads who call themselves Stinky Bird and Wise Dude. The first chronicles their epic search for food that leads them over deserts and mountains. The second contains a short that tells what happened to them on a certain rainy day. This story was done solely for writing practiceRated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,427 - Published: 08-20-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3052003
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
In & Out Burgers
(Previously 'Monsoon Season')
"It's wet" Stinky bird said glumly as he sat on the edge of their cave dwelling home.
"It, my friend, is EXTREMELY wet..." Wise Dude corrected. They stared out at the flooded creek.
Stinky Bird sighed dramatically. "I wish we had donuts..." It was quiet for a few seconds, then Wise Dude lost it. "HOW CAN YOU THINK ABOUT DONUTS AT A TIME LIKE THIS?"
Stinky Bird stared at him blankly.
"THE PARK PATROL WILL COME BY ANY SECOND AND THROW US OUT! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"
Stinky bird looked even more confused now. "Hot cocoa?"
"NO!" Wise Dude smacked Stinky Bird. "IT MEANS WE ARE GOING TO DIE!"
"WE ARE JUST GOING TO GET WET!" Stinky Bird yelled, now thoroughly engrossed in the screaming. Wise Dude smacked him again.
"That should be Illegal." Stinky Bird said, standing up. "You could, damage my brain!"
"Yes. That's exactly what I was trying to do." Wise dude said sarcastically, "As if your not stupid enough already!" with that Wise Dude slumped down beside their small fire, sighed, and neither of them spoke until Stinky Bird's stomach began to rumble.
He had tried hard not to complain. (Wise dude was already in a bad mood, he didn't want to make it worse) But he was five minutes away for starving to death.
He finally got the guts to open his mouth when Wise Dude threw the last Dingdong they had at his face. Somehow Stinky Bird managed to catch it in his mouth, instead of it falling to to the fire.
He opened it but stopped just before he took a big bite out of it. Looking at the dingdong longingly, he split it in half and laid one half in front of Wise Dude. Wise Dude looked up for a second disapprovingly. He wasn't much of a fattening food type of guy. That's why he and Stinky Bird had left Phoenix to become nomads.
But even through his disapproving stare, Stinky Bird could have sworn he saw a smile, and smiled back.
After three hours the rain lit up, if it's possible to say that, and they set off towards the road above them. By the time they reached the highway it was pouring again.
Stinky bird took a deep breath. "Maybe we should get a hotel room or something." He muttered.
Wise dude turned around to face him, "WHY WOULD WE EVER DO THAT!" Stinky Bird backed up a few steps and tripped, hitting his head on a road sign.
"Because," Stinky bird said, "I think my brain just fell out of my ear."
Forty-eight minutes later they were sitting in an In & Out Burger In Phoenix, Arizona.
Stinky Bird had tried several times to get a burger, but every time wise Dude would smack him then say, "We're just here for shelter! NO FOOD!"
The last time Stinky Bird's attempt had failed he said he wasn't going to talk too Wise Dude ever again.
Wise Dude jumped for joy, yelled "Whippy!" at the top of his lungs, and then began to dance. For the last 4 minutes Stinky Bird was forced to entertain himself by counting the number of people who came in, bought a burger, and went out. So far he had counted two.
After an extremely over dramatic sigh Wise Dude gestured to the line. and Stinky Bird jumped up excitedly and made his way to the counter. He came back twelve minutes later with a hamburger, french fries, and a milkshake. "Talk about trans fats." Wise Dude said glumly.
"Come on, Wise Guy!" Stinky Bird said, "Try some!"
"It's WISE DUDE. And NO."
After that Stinky Bird ate his burger in silence, his fries in mildly annoying crunches, and milkshake in extremely irritating SLUUUURPSS. After that they returned to their cave. The Park Patrol never found them.