|Zelda's Book of Obscure Gods
Author: Ed Harley PM
Get to know some of the not so mighty gods and goddesses that most books ignoreRated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 09-04-12 - id: 3055751
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Abol Yug, evil god of ill-timed dinner guests
Helga Fire-Ladle, lesser goddess of casseroles
You might think: what do these two have to do with one another? Well, I'm glad you asked!
Have you ever expected dinner guests at a certain time and they didn't show up until hours later? And by that time, the beautiful and delicious casserole you lovingly prepared was cold!
What you have experienced was one of the countless minor skirmishes in the ongoing battle between culinary goddess Helga Fire-Ladle and her sworn enemy the terrible-casserole hating minor god Abol Yug!
Portly priestesses of Helga Fire-Ladle are some to the best cooks in the realms. You can recognize them by their large yellow cooking aprons and their most treasured possessions: the Sacred Oven Mitts of Casseroliness.
To worship Helga all you really have to do is bake a casserole. But don't expect it to be easy because there is a sinister organization that devotes every waking hour to turning your baked goods into baked bads.
Of course, I'm referring to the dreaded priests of Abol Yug. Yugitarians as they call themselves and tend to be skinny (since they rarely get a decent meal) with shifty eyes, pointy goatees and thin mustaches that they twist between their fingertips whilst laughing villainously. The priests of Abol Yug spend their days corrupting chefs and misaligning sundials but they have no decency at all when it comes to baked goods.
Worshiping Abol Yug is a simple matter of being rude. First, get someone to invite you over for supper. Then, show up late, really late and be sure to mention the coldness of the food; go ahead and stick your finger down in it, maybe. The key is to make the host feel real uncomfortable, inadequate and all around bad about themselves. That sort of thing makes Abol Yug twist his godly whiskers with villainous glee.