If asked, I will blame everything on the cat. And I do mean everything.

For the last four years, that cat has been controlling every aspect of my life. It chooses my CLOTHES, for God's sake. I stopped trying to disagree with It about two weeks after It claimed me as Its property.

Somehow It manages to make Itself understood, mostly with disapproving glares. But sometimes It will do something so obvious that I think It might be human. Once, It made toast for me. I woke up and there was toast already made on the counter. I'm still not sure how.

And so, when I accepted a date from this really cute guy, I blamed it on the cat. We have been dating for two years now, and we're getting married next month.

I blame the cat, so does he.