That Moment Chapter 1 – A Change

When everything is taken from you…Is there life after? That moment when everything was fine…that moment when everything was happy….that moment when they were alive…

I was numb. I couldn't feel anything nor did I want too. The world came crashing down on me with wrath. Why me? I couldn't explain that. Why did this happen? Why did my parents and sister have to be in that car? Why did my sister and parents have to die right there two years ago? Why did I stay home that day? I couldn't explain that. All I could explain was that it hurt. It hurt to be alone. It hurt to be helpless. It hurt to think of them. I wanted to die right there and then at that moment.

After the incident, I became mute. Nothing mattered so why should I bother even talking? I never even had friends to begin with. My friends were my family. They meant everything to me. I lived life through the motivation to make them happy every day. I never would've become who I am without them. And with them gone, I was nothing. My parents would've been ashamed of me by now; their own son isolating himself from the world, grieving their deaths, and neglecting everything.

Roaming around town, the heavy weight of the happy memories took its toll. Stopping at what seemed like a normal cafe, I entered. "Ah!" The woman at the counter said in a surprised tone. But in a way it was happy. "Takuya-kun~!" She sang happily. "I haven't seen you in years! Where have you been?" I then realized it was Yamikawa-san. Yamikawa Sakura-san, my mother's best friend. It had been years since I saw her and I forgot that she still ran this shop. Heck, I even forgot she was alive.

I grabbed my memo pad from my back pocket. Can I get an iced tea? I scribbled down. Staring intently at the pad, she took a while to fully read my note. "Ah, I'm sorry Takuya-kun, but I need to attend a very important eye appointment. You understand right?" I nodded. It didn't hurt to feel disappointed.

Rushing out of the store, I was left alone once again. Sighing, I headed to the door. "Uh would you like your ice tea?" I turned around to see a smiling girl. She looked around my age. Walking back, I did a slight bow, took the bottle, and walked off. "You're not staying?" She said softly. I shook my head with my back facing her. "You don't talk much do you?" She said with a light tone. Turning around, I walked back while scribbling in a message.

I don't remember Yamikawa-san having a child.

"Oh! That's because she adopted me!" She said happily. "Yamikawa Miyu, please to meet you!" Her voice was filled with happiness. How could she be happy? Happiness was so distant from me. The only feeling I ever felt was remorse. Remorse and loss were all I ever felt from anything. She was the first to give me happiness.

What are you thinking Takuya? I shook the thought of happiness. "You should start talking by now." She said in a concerned voice. "Are you sick?" She leaned over the counter in an attempt to reach me. Stepping back, I shook my head. "Then…are you mute….?" Her voice was full of innocence. I nodded. I didn't care. Being mute was fine. I didn't need to talk. A memo pad was easier to talk through. No one could tell what emotion I was feeling if I wrote it down.

I turned around and headed out of the café. "Wait," She said hurriedly as left her position at the counter. "Want some company? The shop is usually closed at this time anyways." I continued to walk. Following, she happily skipped to my side, her black pigtails dancing at her shoulders. You should take out those pigtails. I showed her the message. "Ah, but I love this style!" She said playing with left pigtail. Both of them were tied loosely at the nape of her neck. Pouting, she started to walk beside me.

"Ah, Takuya-kun," She pulled on my jacket sleeve and pointed to a group of street performers. "Let's go see!" She smiled and pulled me over. Making our way to the front, one of the performers gestured for Miyu to come on to their "stage". Don't trust them. I quickly shoved the note in her face. But she ignored it and went on the "stage". "Ooh, is lover boy jealous?" One of the performers baited. I took it. One thing I could never stand was teasing. I had a quick impulse to strangle the performer. Ignoring it, I stepped back.

Feeling a tug on my sleeve I looked to see Miyu holding two microphones. Giving one to me, she dragged me up on stage. A flare of anxiety crawled inside me. I hadn't sung since they died. The last time I did was a duet with my sister. Even though I was the worst singer ever, my sister always helped me practice and soon I was actually pretty decent. But after being mute for two years…was it all gone? Were all traces of my memories with my sister gone? I was about to find out.

(Original Japanese lyrics)

Chu-bura na kimochi wo kakae te
Kyou mo toki nagare sugite yuku
Kimi wo mitsumeru tabi komiageru
Omoi mo naku tsutaerare nanimo naa
Itsunomanika, wasureteita
Namida ga umareru basho wo tadotte
Saa, mabuta o akete
Sono namida to hikikae ni
Tobitatte ikeru
Sono te ni todoku you ni
Omoidashitanda kimi no uta wo
Setsunaku omou kimochi wo
Onaji dorama o nandomo miteru
Kyou mo naa, sonna ki ga shiteta zutto
Kimi ga warattekureta shunkan ni
Atarashii sutori ga hajimatta
Chuburarin na aseta hibi ga
Irozuite iku no ga wakattanda
Saa, mabuta o akete
Kodoku ni surikaeteta
Nakushiteta yuuki wo
kono te ni kakageyou
Koraeteta namida
ima omoidashita kara
Kimi no te wo nigitte
monogatari wa hajimaru
Aa ikusen no yoru wo
koete ima koko ni iru
kizutsutette ii sa
ima tsutaeyou
Saa, mabuta o akete
Hitoride de furueteita
Kimi no te wo nigitte
Omoi wo tsutaeru noda
Omoidashitanda kimi no uta wo
Setsunaku omou kimochi wo
Hadaka no mama no kokoro wo

(English Translation)

Suspended in Space
I hold feelings that are suspended in space,
Today, time is passing by too much
Every time I stare at you, my heart is fills
with thoughts but i still can't convey them well
Without realizing it, I forgot
to follow the place where tears are produced
Now, open your eyes
to those tears conversely

Let it fly in order to reach that hand

I remember your song
and painfully thinking about your feelings
I've watched this drama so many times
I always felt just like that
the moment you gave me a smile a new story began

The faded days, hanging suspended in space
I knew they were filling with color
open your eyes now replace your loneliness with something more
Find your lost courage, and hold it high!
I've remembered now the tears I was holding back
I'll take your hand and our story will begin

Ah, I passed a thousand nights to arrive here
It's OK to get hurt, say it now!
Now, open your eyes
You were shaking alone and I grabbed your hand in order to tell you my feelings
I remember your song
and painfully thinking about your feelings with my heart

Standing back to back, the song was done. I had forgotten the fun in singing. I had forgotten what my voice could create. And most of all, I had forgotten the joy in music. Panting, Miyu turned to me and smiled. I felt my cheeks feel hot. It was at that moment, my life changed. All the ups and downs, all the problems and solutions, and all the memories were changing; for the better was what I was unsure of.