Warnings: This story contains rape, molestation, eating disorders, self-harm, suicide, suicide attempts, underage alcohol and drug abuse, and future homosexual relationships (male/male and female/female). If any of these things bother you, or could trigger you in some way or shape or form, the back button's a good tool to have.

AN: This is my baby. It's had many variations over the past six years, but I found one I'm finally sticking with. I outlined all summer, and decided to post the first draft here since I'm more motivated to finish my first drafts if people are reading and enjoying. This is the first part of a three part series. The next part follows Jake's son, Daryl, and a few other characters; the third part follows Jake's granddaughter, Emily, and one other character. Hopefully you guys can see my writing improve as I post. I plan on posting twice a month at the least, but updates may be more sporadic and closer together than that.

Chapter One

The first time it happened was on his seventh birthday. His father had casually walked into his room and perched himself on the foot of his son's bed, hand gently rubbing the boy's lower leg. He had told his son "Happy Birthday" and smiled, not that the boy could see it. The lights were off. He mumbled a tired reply back to his father, and curled up to go back to sleep.

But his father wouldn't let him. He said he needed to ask his son something, and the boy cracked one eye open and gave a soft grunt. "I want to do something," his father had said, "and it may hurt, but I either do it to you or to your sister."

The boy frowned. Hurt . . . ? Why would whatever his father wanted to do hurt? Well, he knew for a fact he didn't want his father to hurt his sister, so he said, voice strained with fatigue "I can do it."

The next thing he remembered was pain. A lot of pain, and he almost regretted not letting his father do this to his sister, but she was only four. She couldn't handle this sort of pain pain. And besides . . . he was her big brother. He had to protect her, no matter what. Because that's what big brothers did, right?

His name was Jacobus Steffen Hollaar. The third, he couldn't forget that, could he? Everyone called him Jake, and his father hated that.

"Your name isn't said the way it's spelt, Junior. Stupid Americans butchering the pronunciation . . ."

Jake was six foot two and bony, with short curly dirty blond hair, dark blue eyes, freckles, and wide rimmed glasses, and he was only twelve years old.

It was the first day of the seventh grade, and he was currently eating breakfast with his best friend, Skyler Ashton Scott. Skyler was average height for their age, only about five foot four, and had red hair he didn't do much with, green eyes, and freckles all over his face. Skyler was speaking quickly to Jake before school, his mouth full of a blueberry muffin. "Think there's gonna be any new kids this year?"

Jake shrugged and picked at his own muffin as the two boys walked and found a table. They plopped down at it, and Jake tossed a crumb at Skyler. Skyler crinkled his nose at Jake then laughed.

"Dunno?" Skyler said.

"Okay seriously, when was the last time we had a new kid? There's like twelve people in our grade."

"Uh . . ." Skyler spent a while thinking about this. He finished scarfing down his muffin. Crumbs spilled down Skyler's shirt, and it prompted Jake rolled his eyes. Skyler was one of the messiest eaters Jake knew. "Fourth grade?"

"Try third. But if there is, I hope it's a hot girl. Like Gloria . . ." Jake sighed. "Too bad she's a freshman now . . ."

Skyler ignored that and said, "I just want a new friend. Boy or girl."

Jake was going to open his mouth to say something about how Skyler didn't think Jake was a good enough friend, but the bell rang. "See you at lunch," he said, and the two preteens went their separate ways.

Skyler's social studies class was definitely interesting, and the teacher had already assigned them work. A partner project that was due in two weeks about the first Americans and the geography of America.

Skyler's partner had a reputation of being intimidating and scary to anyone who got on her bad side. And people managed to do that a lot . . .

To say Skyler was scared would be an understatement. He was practically shaking the whole desk waiting for his partner arrive.

However, Diane Joyce Filch was nowhere near scary or intimidating to lookat, though. She was barely four and half feet tall, with a thin face, dull grey eyes, and scraggly blonde hair that reached her mid back. Her clothes just draped off of her, like she was a lamp post. She was certainly skinny enough to be one. Skyler softened a bit when he got a good look at her. She was pretty in her own way, and he almost felt bad for her. She obviously hadn't eaten in awhile, or had a nice meal . . . .

He offered her a smile, one that she did not return, but he kept wearing it anyway. It was his goal to be as nice as possible to people.

"Hi!" he said when she finally reached his desk. "I'm Skyler."

Diane blinked at him. She had long lashes, and Skyler couldn't help but admire them. "I know who you are," Diane said. Her voice was high pitched. Really, really high pitched. It was by far the highest voice Skyler had heard.

"Oh," Skyler said. "Sorry."

"Do you think I'm stupid?" Diane snatched up a pair of scissors on Skyler's desk. Her eyes narrowed into an icy cold glare.

Skyler shook again, licking his lips out of nervousness. "N-no . . ."

"If I didn't know who you were, I would've asked Mr. Whittle. Did you see me ask Mr. Whittle anything?"

Skyler's eyes were wide. He sputtered, unable to form any words.

"I'm waiting," Diane said, repeatedly snapping the scissors open and closed.

"I - I - I -" Skyler stumbled over his words, and because he couldn't say anything, he simply shook his head.

"Exactly," Diane said, and she opened Skyler's textbook as his desk. "We're going to do it on this area." She pointed to a part of the US map.

"But . . ." Skyler said, trying not to offend Diane in any way, shape or form, "there weren't settlers there to start, I don't think."

Diane's head shot up, and her eyes pierced through Skyler like steak knives. "We're doing it on this."

"But - "

Diane grabbed his tongue and held the scissors opened and close to the muscle. "If you don't shut up I'll cut your tongue off."

Skyler's eyes darted towards Mr. Whittle, who was preoccupied with helping another pair. He tried to say something, but it was to no avail. His eyes started to water, and when he squeezed them shut, tears slide down his rosy cheeks. Diane scoffed at his crying and put her hand down. "Like I'd actually do it. I have better things to get detention for."

"We - I don't - we'll do it y-your way!" Skyler said, trying his hardest not to sob.

"Damn right we will," Diane said.

"Okay, class!" Mr. Whittle said, what seemed like a millisecond after Diane had put her hand and the scissors down. "You might want to exchange numbers and addresses, because you will not be getting much time to work on this project in class."

Skyler swallowed. Hard.

Tammy Angela Davidson: one of three new students to the seventh grade this year and the only girl. She had straw blonde hair in a put up in a tight little bun, big bright blue eyes, with a little button nose and pouty lips, and she stood at five feet exactly.

She was clutching her lunch tray so tight her knuckles had turned ghostly white. Her eyes scanned for a place to sit and her heart thudded hard in her chest. There were no empty tables. What if she sat at one with people who told her to scram? She looked for the the emptiest table, and spotted one with just two boys sitting there and chatting and laughing. They wouldn't notice her, right? And if they did they'd be nice, she hoped.

She took her seat, trying to sit as far away from them as possible, and kept her eyes on her food. The second or third time she glanced up, however, one of the boys was staring at her. He had huge coke bottle glasses, but he was really cute. Though, his staring was verging on creepy . . . just a little bit.

Tammy was slightly startled by it. "U-uh . . . h-hi?" she said softly.

"Hi," the boy said. "I'm Jake. And he's - "

"Skyler . . ." Tammy nodded. "We m-m-met in fi-first period . . ."

Jake kicked Skyler under the table and Skyler jumped a bit. "Why didn't you tell me about her?" Jake whispered sharply to him.

"Sorry," Skyler whispered back. He turned a smile on Tammy and spoke loud enough for her to hear this time: "Yeah, we had to play a game with the adjective or whatever."

"An adjective that starts with the letter of your name?" Jake asked. Skyler nodded. "Yeah, I did that in third. For Mrs. White? I said Joyous Jake. Ha."

"I was Smiley Skyler. I didn't make it up. George did. He said it fit," Skyler said.

"I wonder why," Jake said.

Skyler shrugged and took a bite of his lunch.

"I was T-Timid Tam-Tammy . . ." Tammy said.

"Far out," Jake said.

Tammy gave him a forced little smile and nodded. "Thanks . . . J-joyous Jake's far-far out t-t-too."

"What about Skyler Smiley?" Skyler said, looking mock-offended he hadn't been complimented.

"You mean Smiley Skyler?" Jake laughed.

"Whatever," Skyler said, and he finished his lunch in a record minute and three point five seconds. Tammy made a disgusted face at him.

Jake laughed harder.

"What's funny?" Skyler asked, eyes on Jake for a moment, then Tammy.

"Th-that was kinda gr-gross," Tammy said, looking down.

"Oh!" Skyler looked horrified. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to gross you out or anything."

"It's fine . . ." Tammy said, poking at her own food. She couldn't even understand how someone could eat this . . . gunk. It looked disgusting and like it could get up and move on its own anytime it wanted.

"You're really pretty," Jake told Tammy suddenly, making her look up from her 'meal'.

"Oh. T-thanks," Tammy said, but her whole body tensed, her stomach knotted, and bile rose in her throat. However, she managed to swallow it down and took a quick drink from her milk. "You're cute, I-I guess."

The corner's of Jake's lips pulled down a bit. He sighed. "Thanks."

"I sh-should go a-a-and t-talk to the l-lady in the office. She t-t-told me to come visit dur-during lunch," she said.

The corner's of Jake's lips tugged down even further now. "All right. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye!" Skyler said.

"M-maybe," Tammy said. And with that she stood, grabbed her tray, threw everything away, and walked off.

"You know that girl, Diane?"Skyler asked a few minutes after Tammy left.

"Uh . . . you mean the one that tried to kill you or somethin'? Yeah."

Skyler pointed to the left of Jake. Sure enough, there was Diane, sitting by herself at a bench. A few kids passed by her and sneered at her. Or even threw food at her. She may have been rude to Skyler earlier, but the site of those kids ruthlessly tormenting her made his heart sink. He could never understand how someone could do that to another person . . . and he guessed he knew why Diane was so cruel to him earlier.

"I reckon she deserves it," Jake said.

"I reckon . . ." Skyler replied, but he decided that he would kill her with kindness and become her friend - even if it would be the death of him.

AN2: As I'm sure every authors told you, reviews and alerts and favs are much appreciated and loved. Reviews pointing out typos, misspelled words, awkward phrasing, repetition, etc. are loved too. Thanks for reading.