Welcome to my silly life... Or as some people like to say, my crazy life. Here, I will talk about my everyday life, and some from the past. I do hope you find me as funny as my best friend does. But more than likely, you will not. Perhaps I will be nothing more than a nutbox to you, and you will agree with my ex boyfriend that I do, in fact, need psychological help.

Let me tell you a little about myself. I like to go by Astoria. That's not my real name, but that is what I like to be called. I still live with my ex boyfriend, and its kind of like a real relationship, with out the sex, and the mutual liking for each other. Truth is, we hate each other, but miss each other when one is not around. Thin line between love and hate, huh? That's what I've been told anyway. We can call him Mikey. or Ex. Either one, I suppose.

I am also talking to a guy from Egypt. I signed up to a chatting site my friend was a member of because, well, frankly, I get bored during work and wanted to chit chat about stupid stuff with strangers. So I sign up for this website, and what do you know? I see this profile of this handsome man. Rugged.. black eyes.. looks like the type of man who would make your panties wet when he was angry, man. Why, hello there ;) was my message to him. (I KNOW, not the most creative one...) It took him awhile to write back. Now, I am not the most patient person, so during that (what seemed to me) eternity for him to write back, a few things ran through my mind...this m*th*F*ck*r thinks he's too good, or what? Oh, I didn't tickle your fancy? Anyway, he wrote back, and we decided to instead chat on yahoo.

During the chat, he seemed very eager to chat. Ding...ding...ding..DingDingDing! was what I heard, followed by the ever so Hello? you there still? Yes, fine sir, I am, it does take me more than 2 seconds to respond... Eventually we started texting. He was pretty convinced we were destined for marriage. Oh, Astoria, I cannot wait for you to meet my mother, I will tell her all about you. (Yes, I also told him my name is Astoria...)I have told him to relax on that kind of talk, since he IS in Egypt, and I am in the States, but he just sends a :-) with an OK, Astoria, if that is your wish. Then resumes it a little while later. We can call this man, Egypt.

He does have an awesome body, and he makes me feel incredibly beautiful. More than a man has for many years.

Ex loves to compare me to women on movies.. I am nowhere near that thin, nor will I ever be. I am naturally built a thick woman. 5'5 and 160 lbs, right now, although I am trying to lose more.

Now, Let me tell you about another guy that has me..well, confused. He is my friend. We have known each other since June of 2011, and talked about getting into a relationship, but it just never happened. We both moved on, and although still talked, never moved on to the topic of us getting into a relationship again. That is, until last week. I get this message: "I Love You."

My response? "Aww you're so sweet. How much have you been, drinking? haha"

Apparently, that was not the response he was hoping for. He said "I am not drunk. I just needed to tell you." hmmm... I have no clue what to say to that. I have not physically seen this man for more than a year. It baffles my mind that he could possibly think he could love me. I asked him when he discovered these feelings for me. (I did not want to mock him, or tell him how nuts I thought he was.)

He told me it was the summer before, when I took him to my favorite place, it's a trail, with a stream running through it. (very beautiful, the sides are very steep and dangerous.) He said he knew then that he was in love with me. Also the same place we had our first kiss.

I asked him WHY it had taken him so long to say something. WHY did he have to wait over a year, when we had both moved on? (well, I guess not both of us..) He said because he is moving back to Peru in December. Now, I don't know if I just have a thick skull, but that made no sense to me, at all. What does Peru have to do with telling me? Whats the point? Even if I did return the feelings, what would be the point? (Can someone please explain this to me?)

Now he is mad because he says, Don't you have something to say to me?

What do you want me to say, Peru? I'm still in shock by what YOU told ME. Honestly, what do you want to hear?

The Truth.

The truth? The truth is, I wish you would have told me a long time ago, when you first felt it. I moved on because I was under the impression nothing would happen with us. You are moving out of the country in a few moths. I'm sorry if that is not what you want to hear, but it is too late for anything with US.

I think I hurt him. Which I did not mean to do. I do wish he would have told me earlier. I wish something would have happened. He honestly made me happy to be around him. I was relaxed, and he is a sweet man. All he tells me now is when I figure out something more to tell him, talk to him then. I don't know what else to say..

Thank you for reading. This is just boring background information. I have much more going on, like a boss who constantly asks how many calories are in what you are currently eating (no joke).. a best friend who has just as many issues as I do, and Bitches galore at my work.

Stay tuned. It gets Funny.