|Tuning Out to Dull Blades
Author: CinnamonRepublic PM
Misery loves company as they always say. Maybe a friend who shares suffering will brighten up Ariana's worthless life. She doesn't know he needs her as much as she needs him. Rated for later chapters.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,365 - Updated: 09-22-12 - Published: 09-16-12 - id: 3058762
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Author's note: This is much shorter than my first chapter. I though that one was WAY too long. I don't want to bombard people with words, so this one is nice and short. The rest of them will be roughly this size too.
"You're so nice Ariana." David breathed, looking over to the heavyset girl where she sat on her bed. He sat in a canvas beanbag chair on the floor, as he often did these days after school. It was early spring and during the winter the two of them had formed a strong friendship. Each was smiling in recents weeks, for even though they were still outcasts at school (and home), now they were outcasts together. But something bothered David. It was Ariana's reluctance to do anything at all when she was taunted, or pushed, or made fun of. She NEVER did anything at all about it, and sometimes ended up apologizing to her tormentors. Unlike he, who always tried to stand up for himself. At least he used to…Now that David was friends with Ariana, he often stayed silent when being shoved around or provoked, because that was what she wanted him to do. "You'll only end up hurt" She would say, or "You'll just egg them on" or "Don't be like them" etc, etc.
"Thanks David, you're nice too," she replied, smiling warmly at him. "Even if that was kind of random." He shook his head. "It's not random, it has to do with today." The coal haired boy stated, standing and walking over to her bed. He gently took a strand of her dirty blonde hair and brushed something brown and crusty out of it. Chocolate frosting. "Oh damn, I thought I got that all out," said Ariana, frowning and now knowing where he was going with this. David let go of her hair and tucked it back into place, sitting down beside her. "A girl smashed her cupcake into your head, smeared the frosting around in your hair, dropped it on the ground then told you to eat it. And you just sat there and took it. You're too nice."
She sighed and squirmed self-consciously in her spot. "It's okay, they've done worse before." He shook his head. "It's not okay, that's my point. I almost thought you were actually going to eat her cupcake just because she told you too. I'm glad that you're a nice person, but why are you nice to them? To the people who do things like that?" David asked, his hazel gaze puzzled as ever. "I just don't see how being treated badly by them gives me the right to do the same. Someone has to be a decent human being." Ariana said softly, looking at him with solemn brown eyes. He frowned as he considered this, and chewed on his thumbnail. "There's a difference between treating them badly and standing up for yourself. You have to at some point, or else they'll just keep taunting you. They'll just keep walking all over you and treating you like trash." But I am trash. Ariana thought, almost said and decided not to. She didn't like herself but David liked her, so she supposed if someone as kind and fun as he was liked her, she couldn't be all bad.
"Has standing up to them ever stopped them from treating you like trash?" She asked him. "Well…No. It hasn't. They still make fun of me, steal my shit or push me around. But I feel better about myself knowing that I at least tried to do something. And sometimes it does work. That time with Elias a couple of days ago it worked." Ariana recalled this, it was one of the few times David had stood up for himself lately since he'd grown accustomed to staying quiet for her sake. Elias Silven had been spitting more gay slurs at David along with literal spitballs. She found it disgusting and immature, as did David of course, but the class thought this was freaking hilarious. David had stood up for himself though, cussing up a storm about said immaturity of the act and spitting a few insults of his own. Without another word, Elias had backed off. "Yeah it did work then, but Elias is different. He used to get made fun off too when we were younger, because his mom is a nut job and he has a shitload of siblings. He only got cocky when high school started, since he started dating Marcy."
"But it's worked on others too. And even if it didn't, at least I know I try to do something to save face," he murmured sadly "But you just let them do and say whatever they want with no protest." She shook her head and sighed softly, gently reaching up to touch his face. "Don't look sad like that, not for me David. Come on, let's stop talking about this. We have to deal with those people almost all day, now we're out of school so lets do something fun."
"Okay." He gave in with reluctance. "What do you want to do?" She shrugged. "Oh, I don't know. We still have that english test to study for, but that's no fun. So do you want to watch a movie, or something?" Ariana asked. "Sure. I get to pick what movie, right?" The scrawny teen was grinning semi-teasingly. She rolled her eyes. "Of course David." So they spent the rest of the evening in peace, watching movies and studying. Ariana's mother worked late, so she wasn't around to interrupt most of the time and when she finally did show up, she was too tired to care. Ariana's sister Jane was also around, but she let them be alone. Though she teased her sister almost as much as the people at school, her teasing was gentler and she didn't go out of her way to bother them.
The following day David's words occurred to Ariana as she sat in third hour, hearing the insults from around and behind. This time they weren't just about her, they were about her and David. More of those sick childish insults comparing the sizes of them and how the two of them must have sex together. Things like that went beyond the fat jokes and the fugly jokes, they pissed her off. First of all, she and David were nothing more than friends and second of all even if they were it was no one else's business. And why on earth would they say the disgusting things that they did in regards to it?!
"She's got to be the dominant one, she's more manly than he is."
"Nun-huh, if she was dominant she'd be on top. He'd be crushed to death."
"Ever heard of doggy style, stupid?"
"How is she gonna fuck him doggy style? She doesn't have a penis…At least, I don't think she does."
"Dude, seriously. LOOK at her. She probably does have one, and even if she don't, there's pegging you know."
"You seriously don't know what that is?"
"Oh dude, don't me explain this to you…"
At this point Ariana's fists were clenched so tight that the little fingernails she had (she had a habit of biting them down to the skin) were pressing sharply into the soft flesh of her palms. She thought of David's words again and wanted to defend not only herself, but him. The both of them. In fact, she wanted to defend him more than she wanted to defend herself. But in the end, Ariana found she didn't have it in her. It wasn't in her soft nature to stand up to others. She unclenched her fists and plugged in her earphones, tuning out of reality.
Through early morning fog I see
Visions of the things to be
The pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see...
Thank you Marilyn Manson, she thought as she escaped the classroom and herself for a little while.
A few days later as Ariana and David began to walk home, something occurred to the blonde teenager. "I've never been to your house!" She exclaimed incredulously, louder than she had meant to. It wasn't that big of a deal, but he'd been coming over to her house after school for two months now, and leaving of his own accord by ten every night, sometimes earlier. The thin boy looked at her and blinked a few times, slowly tilting his head. "Do you want to come to my house?" She blushed slightly, annoyed at how loud she was and almost certain that it bothered him. "Well no. Or yes, or I don't know. It's just that we always go to mine. I'm curious about yours." He nodded in understanding, though he looked wary. "We could go I suppose, you know I only live two blocks over from you."
"Yeah I know, which is why I figured I would have been there before today. Is there some reason you don't want to go?" She asked, frowning slightly. "N-No!" David replied quickly. Too quickly. Ariana frowned more deeply and stared harder at him as they walked. He sighed. "It's no big deal, my parents can be can be asses sometimes. And they're there. I like your house, since it's just us two there. Except for Jane I guess, but it's hard to tell she's there." The overweight girl nodded, completely understanding. Her mom was far from the nicest lady in the world, and if she was around more often Ariana knew she would have David over less. "I get it, but could we go anyway?" she asked softly. He nodded. "Yeah, of course Ari. It's not like they're worse than any of the people at school anyway." And with that, they walked to the young man's house.
"It's nice." She said with a soft smile, upon approaching it. The house was medium sized, two stories tall and painted white. The trim was an evergreen color and Ariana genuinely liked it, she didn't compliment it just for David's benefit. "Thanks." He smiled slightly back to her, still not looking completely comfortable as he led her inside. The walls were the same color as the trim and in the living room Ariana could see a thin black haired woman and a muscular brunette man sitting side by side on the couch. They regarded her with mild interest and perhaps disapproval, and Ariana felt herself grow a bit anxious. Those must be David's mom and dad, she thought, offering a friendly little wave to the both of them. The two adults exchanged a look and the female waved back. "Hey Mom, Dad. This is Ariana." David said, gesturing to her. "Hiya." Ariana said, giving another little wave.
"Well I always prayed you'd bring home a girl," said the man gruffly. "I guess this is a start." And then both he and the woman turned back to the television. Ariana was stung, as one can imagine, but she'd prepared herself for a negative reaction, was used to negative reactions and so she didn't do anything. David sighed, frowning. "Sorry about them." He muttered. "But they're like that with everyone, and they'll leave us alone. So come on, I'll show you my room." She nodded and smiled a bit. "Okay." So he took her by the hand and led her up the stairs.