"Starting next week I'll be a married man."

"The more you keep telling that to yourself the easier it will get. Trust me."

"Is this how you felt when you and Katie were getting married?"

He grinned. "Remember I temporarily took off because I had such bad cold feet and then you had to drive me back and practically shove me down the aisle?"

"Hard to believe that with such a rough start you two have been going strong for five years."

"Yeah and it's also hard to believe you are getting married. I never thought I'd see the day a guy could get you to settle down."

"Thanks, Spencer. I'm glad you have faith in me."

"It's no problem, Ian. You know I'm here to help you through the difficult process of getting married."

"At least I won't have to be shoved down the aisle," Ian retorted.

"Hey, I plan to drag you down it!"

Watching the two men converse was a tall brunette woman along who had an amused look on her face with a slightly shorter blond man and he looked nervous but happy.

"When I first met those two I thought they were together."

The woman laughed. "I can see why you thought that Franklin. Spencer and Ian have always been very close. When I first met them in college I thought they were a couple too."

"Kate, you don't think things will get too crazy during Ian's bachelor party do you?"

She smirked. "During Spencer's they got so drunk they passed out but I'm sure everything will be fine."

He paled but then had to push it out of his mind when one of the florists asked him a question.

The wedding was coming together and by tomorrow they would be married. Franklin couldn't be happier even though he had never thought it would happen. He had first met Ian three years ago and he had put off asking him out for nearly a year because he thought he was having some crazy affair with Spencer who was married to Kate. When he found out the truth, he decided to jump the gun and ask him out.

"So what are you two planning for tonight?" Kate asked, coming up behind Spencer who kissed her on the cheek.

"Well baby I think we were planning to go to a strip club first and then…"

Ian sighed. "Kate we are not going to a strip club."

"Good and no chip and dales either. I don't think Franklin would like that."

Spencer grinned and nudged Ian who shook his head.

He promised Kate he would keep Spencer at bay but he had been promising her that since they met in their last year of college. Now, at age thirty, he was still doing it but the man had been his best friend for fifteen years. There wasn't much else he could do at this point.

"Just be careful you two," Kate warned, motioning for Franklin to come over after he was done with the florists.

She was sure they were going to get into trouble.

~*~

"Be careful and call when you get there. You know I worry," Franklin muttered as Ian pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I will and if it makes you feel better I'll call you every hour," he teased, laughing when he got a look from his soon-to-be-husband. "Relax, Frankie. I'm just going out with Spencer."

"That's part of what bothers me but only because he can be a bit irresponsible."

After he reassured him for the tenth time, he climbed into Spencer's car which was waiting right outside. "Did Kate mention something about irresponsibility to you?"

"Yeah, she told me not to be irresponsible. It's like she doesn't trust me!"

"Five years of marriage and two kids later you still have an amazing amount of irresponsibility. She has reason to warn you and me."

He groaned. "Damn it, Ian she called you too?"

Ian nodded and had to laugh at Spencer's comment. Between the two of them he'd always been considered the more responsible one but he had his moments.

"All right so there has to be rules," Spencer said as he pulled into a bar. "No talking about spouses or future ones. This is just about celebrating your last day of freedom."

Ian rolled his eyes. "I don't see it that way."

"That's why you have me. I've been the one to keep that head on straight for the past fifteen years.

They had met in their second year of high school and it had been love at first sight as Spencer had once described it. It was a class project that caused the two of them to bond even more and neither of them ever looked back.

"Ready?" Ian asked a he was about to get out of the car but before he could, Spencer pulled him into a hug.

"Man, I love you. I can't believe I'm losing you."

"I never reacted this way when you got married," Ian muttered as he hugged Spencer back, patting him awkwardly on the shoulder in a pathetic attempt to calm him down.

"I know but I'm more emotional then you!"

Ian had to laugh and he barely noticed two women walking by the car and giggling at the sight of them. Pulling away, he got out of the car and prompted Spencer to follow. "Buy me a round?"

"I thought you were buying?"

He gave him a look and Spencer just grinned before giving him another hug before they went into the bar and sat at a table on the far right.

"I still can't believe you're getting married. How did Franklin manage to trap you?"

"I should ask the same about Kate," Ian retorted with a laugh.

They finished their first two drinks and then quickly moved onto the second round. While they were drinking, they were approached by two women.

"Excuse me?" the blond one asked.

"Yes?" Ian asked in a friendly tone. It was too bad his friend's tone was far from friendly.

"Hey ladies can't you see we're busy here? We are trying to have a night to ourselves before the wedding."

The blonde lady giggled. "We weren't trying to interrupt your night. All we wanted to do was say you two look adorable together."

Watching them walk off, Spencer wrinkled his nose. "Why the hell does everyone say that? I could never date you. You're two high strung."

"And you're a clueless, clingy…"

"Hey just answer the question!"

"Well it could do with the fact that you constantly say it was love at first sight when we met."

"Do you I have to add the platonic part?" Spencer asked in exasperation. "Besides, it's the truth! I knew from the moment we met we were going to be awesome friends."

"Since we're such awesome friends why don't you buy me another drink?"

"I was thinking could split it… and I'm kidding, Ian!"

They left the bar when Spencer decided to drag him out of there. Then he got on the road just started driving which was unexpected because as far as he had known they were going to sit at the bar, drink, eat, and then go home but apparently he had other plans. "Do you mind telling me where we're going?"

"It's a secret so if you would close your eyes that would be perfect."

"Spencer, where the hell are we going? It better not be a petting zoo. I will not break into another one with you."

"You like llamas and I thought it would be a great present for your birthday."

Sighing, he lifted a brow when he heard Spencer's phone ringing and when the man nodded to him, he picked it up. "Hi Kate. Checking up on us?"

"I just wanted to see how you two are doing."

"I think you should call the police because I have no idea where we're headed. Spencer refuses to tell me where we're going."

"Oh god, you tell him it better not be another petting zoo fiasco! If I have to explain that to the kids again…"

He laughed. "He promises it isn't but I don't know if I believe him."

"What is she saying?" Spencer interrupted.

Ian smiled. "She says she loves you."

"Stop bringing up the petting zoo! It was two years ago!"

"Keep him in line."

Hanging up the phone after telling Kate goodbye, he looked out the window and tried to tell himself that Spencer wouldn't get them into any trouble but the more he said that, the more nervous he got.

The man had always had a knack for getting into trouble and Ian always ha to bail him out of it. Sometimes he would lie or he would take half the blame. It was a wonder why he put up with Spencer but maybe it was because they were… no. He wasn't using the term soul-mates.

"How much longer Spencer? We've been driving for an hour."

"We're here," he grinned.

Getting out of the car, he took a breath when he realized they were back in their old home town which was just an hour drive away. To be specific, they were in their old stomping grounds where they had caused a lot of trouble.

"Why are we here?" Ian asked with a soft smile on his face when he heard the door close. Watching as Spencer sat on the hood of the car, he joined him and accepted the cigarette the man handed him.

"I thought it would be nice to go visit where we used to hang out as insane, out of control teenagers. Don't you?"

"You get so nostalgic sometimes."

Spencer grinned. "Well you're getting married so I thought we'd revisit the old times."

"I never did this when you were married. Why are you acting like this is the end of our friendship?" he asked with a roll of his eyes. "Sometimes you can be so dramatic."

"Kate is different than Franklin."

"I know that but I love him and I hope you like him as well."

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Ian I do but things will change."

"Nothing changed when you married Kate and nothing will change now."

"It won't because dude the minute we became friends it was till death do us part."

Ian gave him a light push. "Shut up. Your being weird again."

He laughed. "Nothing wrong with that."

They spent a majority of that night just sitting there on the hood of the car talking and then they… fell asleep. Ian realized they had fallen asleep there when he woke up to the birds chirping and Spencer spooning him. "Dude, wake up! We fell asleep out here!"

"Hm?

"It's five in the morning!" Ian muttered as he sat up. He couldn't believe they had fallen asleep on a hood of a car. "Leave it to you to get me to fall asleep on the hood of a car. The last time we did this we nearly got mugged."

"Ian, be quiet for a damn moment. I haven't had coffee yet," he said with a yawn. "What an exciting bachelor party, huh? We fall asleep."

"Like most of our birthday parties," Ian pointed out.

Rolling off the car, Spencer stretched and then climbed into the car. When he checked his phone, he saw one missed call from Kate and it appeared it was the same for Ian. "Let's go, man! I need some coffee and then we have to get you ready for your wedding!"

Ian paused before he got into the car and smiled. He was getting married today and unlike Spencer's nervous feelings he didn't feel nervous at all. Well that was a lie. He was somewhat nervous but most of it was happy nerves. "Coffee sounds good."

"What about breakfast?" Spencer asked.

"God no. I'm too nervous for that. If I eat it I'll probably throw it up."

~*~

When his phone started to ring throughout the ride to the café, he contemplated pulling over. Finally after they had sat down and his friend went to the bathroom he pulled out his phone and answered it when it rang again.

"Kate you've called me three times. What's wrong? Are the kids okay? Are you okay?"

"We're fine…" she muttered and he frowned when she hesistated on the other line. "It's about Franklin. Is Ian around?"

"He's in the bathroom did something happen to Franklin? Is he hurt?"

"Spencer, he's fine but that's not the issue. The issue is that he's gone."

"Gone?" he repeated.

"Yes."

"Kate, what the hell do you mean he's gone?"

"Left, vamoosed, skedaddled, took off, ran away, flew the coop…"

"Okay, I get it! When did he leave?"

"I saw the note on the counter this morning. I'm assuming he left just a few hours ago."

"Fuck! What did the note say?"

"Basically that he was sorry but it was all too soon. He seemed so happy last night so I can't even fathom this happening!"

"Baby, it's not your fault. I don't think any of us saw it coming."

"What about Ian?"

Somehow, Spencer had avoided thinking about him until Kate mentioned his name. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Ian about Franklin. He loved the man so much and he knew this would devastate him.

"He's coming back to the table. I'll call you later."

"Spencer you have to tell him. He's getting married tonight."

"I will, Kate. I just have to find the right moment."

"Something wrong?" Ian asked as Spencer quickly got off the phone. "Are Kate and the kids all right?"

"Yeah they're fine," he told him.

"Then why do you have such a strange look on your face?"

"I don't have any look on my face!"

"Spencer I know you better than that. Something happened."

He didn't know what to say. Spencer knew he had to tell him what happened with Franklin. Honestly, this whole thing was a mindfuck. He had always liked his friend fiancé and thought he was a good fit for Ian. This was never a situation he saw coming but Ian was aware something was going on and he would have to find out. It was his wedding day after all.

"Ian I have something to tell you and it isn't good."

"What happened?"

"It's about Franklin. He… left last night," he told him as he reached over to hold his hand in an attempt to comfort him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Kate found him gone this morning and there was a note on the table explaining everything."

Ian was quiet and Spencer knew what that meant. He was closing in on himself. It was what he did when the going got tough and he was going to be damned if he was going to do that.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Ian, don't do this. You have to deal with this."

"I will. Can we please just enjoy breakfast first?"

He nodded because he just couldn't say no to his best friend.

~*~

Ian,

This is the coward's way out. I know this but last night as I was lying in bed I realized I couldn't go through with the wedding.

The right thing to do would've been to tell you but I couldn't You seemed so happy but I'm going to be honest now. I've had doubts for a while now but I thought they fade away. They didn't though and I guess I assumed they were just butterflies but last night it hit me. I was getting married and I am nowhere near ready for that.

I didn't want to hurt you. It as the last thing I wanted to do so I decided to write you this letter. I just couldn't do it face to face and I know what you're thinking. It's the coward's way out but it's easier this way. I only hope you can one day forgive me and I wish you the best.

Sincerely,

Franklin

Ian's hands shook as he read the letter and after he was done, he sat on the couch, head resting in his hands.

"Dude, its okay to cry."

Ian looked at Spencer. "I am not going to cry."

He frowned. "Fine. That means I'll cry enough for the both of us then."

Kate lifted a brow at her husband's ability to fake a cry. He had gotten her quite a few times with that little trick of his and he had nearly perfected it over the years.

"Spencer, don't do that. It creeps me out."

He shot Ian a look. "It's healthy to cry! You need to cry and keeping it is won't help anyone."

"Kate would you mind if I spent the night?" he asked, completely changing the subject.

"Of course. You don't have to ask."

Later that night with Ian in the quest room and him getting ready for bed with Kate, he couldn't help but worry over his friend.

"I should go check on him."

"Leave him alone, Spencer! He'll come to you on his own time."

"You don't understand. I know Ian and he'll shove all of this down and then the dam will break. It always happens and I need to be there when it happens."

Kate wanted to argue but Spencer knew Ian better than anyone. If he thought he knew what he needed then he was probably right so she had to bite her tongue in this one.

"This is a serious situation though."

"Baby, I was there when his parents died. I know what he needs."

"I'm not saying you don't- oh never mind. I knew long ago not to get between you two and I'm not going to do it now."

Spencer grinned and leaned over to kiss her. "I love you, you know that right?"

"You better," she said as she kissed him on the lips. "Go to your friend and if I find you two spooning in the morning I promise not to freak out."

Knocking on the door, he wasn't surprised when he didn't get an answer. If he knew Ian the man was curling up underneath the covers and trying to push everything down. He worried about him because the last time he tried this he nearly resulted in seriously injuring himself. It happened after his parents died and it made him frown even to this day.

"Ian, I'm coming in," he called out as he opened the door. Looking around, he saw a lump on the bed and closed the door behind him. "Ian?"

There was no answer but the lump shifted.

Managing to quirk a smile, he sat down on the edge of the bed and gently shook him. "Ian, get out of there."

Finally, after what seemed like forever, he poked his head out and it was like they were children again.

"Your hair's a mess."

Ian let out a sad laugh. "I think that's the least of my worries."

Laying down, he rolled over and embraced him tightly. "It's not your fault you know. This is all on Franklin."

"I know that."

He groaned. "Ian, you need to talk about this! It's all right to be upset that Franklin left you."

"Again, I know that, Spence. I… just don't understand why. He had so many opportunities to say something but he didn't. Why wait until the night before our wedding?"

"I guess we'll never know."

"I want to ask him why."

Spencer nodded. "One day you'll get that chance but now isn't the best time. You need to take some time-"

"I already tried contacting his family. They told me they didn't know where he was but I don't believe them. He's probably in hiding or something."

"Ian, why did you do that?"

"Because I want to know why my god damned fiancé left me."

Spencer hugged him tighter even when Ian struggled against him. "I'm not going anywhere so fight all you want but I'm staying right here. I already told Kate so she knows not to expect me tonight."

"I don't understand any of this, Spence. I loved him so much."

He knew that Franklin had made Ian smile in a way that none of his other partners had in the past. It was refreshing to see him so happy but now that was a double edged sword because he was taking this so hard and there was nothing he could do. If he could, he would've punched Franklin. The man was smaller than him but he didn't care because he had it coming.

"Try to sleep and we can discuss this some more in the morning but if you don't that's all right too. I'll just make you breakfast instead."

"What does breakfast have to do with that?"

He shrugged and managed to crawl inside the blanket. "Night, Ian."

"Spencer, you don't have to sleep here."

"Bullshit I don't. It's what we do so there's no arguing about this."

~*~

Spencer woke up early and true to his promise he made them something to eat for him. The man seemed all right but he knew Ian was doing his usual crap again. Try as he might, he couldn't get him to open up and eventually he had to leave it.

In a week he began to see signs of Ian falling into a depression and after two it was worse. He was more reluctant to leave the guest room and the bed even. Food couldn't even lure him out and he started it become very worried about his friend because he was getting close to the edge.

"I need to be there when he crashes. I just don't want him to do anything drastic."

"Spencer," Kate said gently, "you can't watch him twenty four seven. You have to work and attend to the kids… and me."

He lifted a brow. "Kate, you know I would never neglect you. I'm just worried."

"Spencer I didn't mean it like that. Ian is as a big part of this family and he's like a brother to me. I don't want anything to happen to him either but you can't keep a constant eye on him."

"I set up a camera in the guest room."

She paused. "Under different circumstances that would be considered creepy."

"Yes, but this isn't one of those circumstances. I only film people in dire situations… or if you want me too," he said with a cheesy grin, pouting when she slapped him in the shoulder. "Never?"

"If you decide to do more chores around the house then we'll talk."

"Hey, this isn't over!" Spencer shouted as Kate placed a kiss on the top of his head before leaving the room. Huffing, he made his way to the guestroom and checked on Ian.

For the first time in nearly a week, he was leaving the house. His kids wanted to go to the beach and he was going to take them. He had asked if he wanted to go but the man refused several times.

"Ian, do you want to go? It might do you good to go out."

"No, I'm all right Spencer," he said quietly.

Sighing, he fiddled with the doorknob. Should he stay? The kids wanted him to go out so badly and he was looking forward to spending some time with his family but Ian was a part of that as well.

"You know what, Ian you are going."

Kate heard a series of shouts and things being thrown around as she left the house. Wincing at the sound of a loud crash, she put the kids in the car and lifted a brow when both Ian and Spencer exited the house. Her husband's best friend looked worse for wear but at least he was finally getting some fresh air.

"Looks like Uncle Ian is coming with us," she said to the boys and she had to fight off a laugh as they both climbed into the car.

The entire trip Ian was strangely quiet but he had been like that for days now. It was taking all of Spencer's will power not to shake him and try to snap him out of it but he managed to fight that urge.

"Spence?"

Glancing up when he heard Kate call his name, he motioned towards Ian and told the kids to go attack their uncle. Sure enough they did and he didn't feel guilty in the least. "What is it, baby? Can't get enough of me in my swimsuit?"

Rolling her eyes, she pinched his cheek and then patted his stomach. "Lose the gut and then we'll talk."

"Hey, it's a small, barely-there beer gut so you shouldn't pick on me for it."

"As much as I would love to discuss the size of your 'small' beer gut, I wanted to tell you something."

"What?"

"I saw Franklin."

Blinking, Spencer slowly looked around. "Where did you see him?"

"I saw him by the restaurant over there. He was talking to what looked like his father and mother. Then he saw me and I'm assuming he noticed Ian as well because they left pretty fast."

Spencer frowned. "That little…"

"He looked sad."

"And Ian's just fucking enjoying all this?!"

Clamping her mouth over his hand, she whispered to him to shut up but Ian was already looking over and giving them an odd look. "Be quiet."

Grinning, Spencer gave him a look to try to pass it off as nothing but Ian could see right through them and frowned deeply. Instantly, he knew he was screwed.

"Why would he be here? I thought he left!"

"Maybe he came back. It's been two weeks but I don't think he expected to see Ian here because you know he never was a beach person."

Spencer went off to smoke a cigarette after his conversation with Kate when his friend approached him. "Want one?"

"Those things will kill you, you know," Ian said but despite that he took it. "What were you and Kate talking about earlier?"

"Nothing."

"If it was nothing then why did you give me one of your strange looks?"

"I… I didn't do that."

"Spencer please. We know each other better than that to pull any of that playing dumb crap."

"I saw… or rather Kate saw Franklin. He was with his parents and they left when they noticed her."

"You mean me."

"Ian, no!"

"Then you wouldn't have gave me that look if it was true," he pointed out with a soft yet sad smile. "I think I'd like to go back to the house now if you don't mind."

"I'll drive-"

"No, I'll take the bus. It's a short ride so don't worry about me. I'll see you later."

Spencer felt like he shouldn't let him go but his kids were calling him and he decided maybe, for once, it would be best to leave Ian alone. The man was depressed but he wasn't nearly as bad as when he lost his parents and he'd promised he would never do something like that again. They didn't promise each other something without meaning it so he was positive he would be fine.

"Is Ian all right?" Kate asked after he had returned with the kids holding each of his hands.

He nodded. "As fine as one can be in such a situation. I think he'll be all right though. He probably just wants to go home to have a good cry."

"You don't think so do you?"

"Kate, I do."

Lifting a brow, she let it drop but within an half hour she noticed her husband was fidgety and distracted. Still, she wasn't upset or jealous because she understood. "Go to him you. I know you want too."

"I love you so much. How is it I got lucky?"

She smirked. "I decided to give you a chance that's how."

Kissing her softly, he said he would be back to pick them up later and got in the car, driving back to the house. There, he tensed but nothing looked out of place and he noticed the light to the guest room was on so that had to be a good sign. Getting out of the car, he did pause because he didn't want to feel like he was hovering to much over Ian. He almost felt like one of those helicopter parents but instead of being one of those he was a helicopter friend.

Unlocking the front door, he went upstairs and knocked on his friend's door. There was no answer but he wasn't surprised because he expected there to be none. Ian was probably angry he'd followed him. "Listen, I know you're probably not happy with me but I had to make sure you were okay. You know I can't help but worry about you and everyone else obsessively."

Again, there was no answer but he persisted.

"Listen, it's going to be okay, Ian. At least Franklin, and I say this loosely, had the decency to leave before you were married. That would've been worse."

He winced. Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

"Ian, scratch that. I'm an idiot so don't listen to me because it's going to hurt no matter what the situation was and remember you can stay here as long as you want."

Spencer scratched the back of his neck and shifted from foot to foot as he waited for his friend to answer him in some way. Even if he told him to get the hell away from him he would be fine with the answer. Frowning, he knocked on the door again. "Ian, can I come in?" he asked but he got no response so he decided to just walk inside and when he did he saw Spencer laying on the bed, his eyes closed.

The scariest part was that he wasn't moving and Spencer felt his heart ready to burst out of his chest.

~*~

Spencer was there when he woke up and he wanted to slap him, choke him, or do some act of bodily harm to him for doing what he had done. There was another part of him that wanted to cry and blame himself because he should've known it was coming but he let himself get distracted… by his family.

When he said it out loud he knew how foolish it sounded. There was no way that he could blame himself. Ian was his best friend and he would always be there for him but he also had a family. It was all about finding the perfect balance but he couldn't think of that now.

"Spencer…" Ian murmured which broke him out of his daze.

Glancing down at his friend, he clenched his fists and took a deep breath. "You took a bunch of pills."

"I know."

"Why?"

"It was a moment of weakness."

"A moment of goddamn weakness?!" Spencer snapped. "You tried to kill yourself when you promised you would never do that again!"

Ian stared at him and turned his head away. "I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't be yelling at you. I'll… go."

His hand was grabbed before he could leave and slowly he sat back down.

"Ian, I don't understand. Help me to understand it."

"I don't know. I just… loved him so much and Franklin was my family. You had Kate and the kids and I had Franklin. Now I have no one and I feel like I'm in the way."

"Ian, Kate and the kids love you."

He smiled. "I know but it's not the same and I don't expect it to be. I… just wanted someone."

"You will always have me. I may be married but I will always be there for you."

"I know, Spence but it's not the same."

"God, Ian. We have a lot to talk about but now isn't the time. Just try to get better and as soon as you're ready to be released, I want you to come back to the house and don't argue! Kate will have my hide if I let you go anywhere else."

"You never would so it's not an issue."

He laughed. "True but I just wanted you to know that Kate wouldn't have it any other way either. She loves you almost half as much as I do."

When he fell back asleep, he didn't leave. He just sat there staring at his best friend until he buried his face in his hands. His words had left him confused, hurt, and guilty. Spencer wasn't sure what to make of them and the last thing he should do right now was act irrationally because Ian didn't need it.

"Did you talk to him?" Kate asked softly when Spencer left Ian's hospital room.

"Yeah, he woke up and we talked a little."

"So, how is he?" Kate urged as she came up to Spencer and wrapped an arm around him.

"Not good, baby. He isn't good."

Sighing, she motioned for him to sit down and then took the seat beside him. Pressing her lips against his cheek, she rested her hand on his shoulder and took his hand. It was her way of giving him obvious comfort. "What happened?"

"This whole time he's been lonely and feeling like some sort of outsider. This was why Franklin leaving him hurt so much. He put so much stock into the relationship and now that he's gone he feels like he lost his family."

"I hope he doesn't feel like I dislike him. I love him just-well half as much as you do. And that's only because you love him a lot."

He smirked sadly. "I know babe but he sounded so sad. I guess he felt like I moved on or something but I've always made sure to let him know he's important to me."

"It's just one of those things, Spence. There's really nothing you could've done to prevent it. If Ian feels that way, you can try to tell him otherwise until he's blue in the face but it's him who has to get over whatever caused him to do this.

He didn't know what to do about Ian. His words had hurt but he also had to toughen up and help his friend who was suffering. He thought he was all alone when that couldn't be farther from the truth. Ian had both him and Kate. The man would especially always have him.

"Let's go home for tonight. You need to sleep."

"I can sleep here," Spencer argued as he curled up in the seats and Kate sighed.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"He's my best friend and I will stay here. Nothing can make me leave him."

She shot him a look.

"No, not even your womanly evils will work!"

"Spencer, please come back home for the night. I promise to drive you down here as early as you want or you can go the second you wake up. I won't argue."

Sighing, he sat up and finally stood after a few moments. He was defeated and he was more than aware of that. He couldn't help it and Kate only wanted what was best for him so he supposed he had to give into what she wanted.

Once hope he collapsed onto the bed sheets and yawned. "If the hospital calls wake me up, Kate. I know Ian won't be happy if he wakes up and finds me not there."

"He'll be fine, Spencer. He's surrounded by doctors and nurses."

"We're his only family," he argued and he winced.

He was going to make Ian realize that he would always have them but Kate was right. He couldn't change the way he saw things but he had to try for Ian's sake.

"Goodnight, babe. I'll try to let you know when I leave."

She kissed the top of his head. "Just sleep, Spencer. You need it and if it makes you feel better I'll go be with Ian. The kids are at my parents anyways."

He grinned. "You rock."

"I know so go to sleep."

~*~

"What if I don't want to stay with you?" Ian nearly shouted and he bit down on his bottom lip when Spencer looked visually taken aback.

"Ian, you need to be around people who care about you."

"I want to go back to my apartment. I've been away from it long enough."

Spencer closed his eyes. "If this is because of what you said a few days ago then forget it! I thought you understand you were coming back with me?"

"You don't tell me what to do, Spencer."

"Please, Ian what can I do to help you? I don't understand what is up with you!"

"I have no one and I want to be alone! Franklin's and my parents are gone. Eventually, you will be too. I thought with Franklin in my life I could accept if we drifted apart but…"

Spencer usually didn't condone violence and hitting someone who had just attempted to kill themselves a few days ago was probably frowned upon but he did it anyway because sometimes he had a tendency to react without thinking.

"You hit me."

"I did… and I'm sorry. No wait! I'm not!"

Ian blinked slowly and made a noise of surprise when Spencer suddenly embraced him tightly. "Spence?"

"Ian, I don't know why you feel this way but if you need space I'll give it to you. I refuse to be one of those clingy friends but I can't help it. I'm really emotionally invested in this friendship."

He moved to pull away when his friend didn't say anything but quickly the man grabbed him and hugged him back.

"Just shut up and let me take comfort in you. Can you do that?"

Smiling faintly, he nodded and shifted so he was sitting on the bed. If he could provide any comfort to his friend it was something he was eager to do. He loved Ian more than anything. Kate was up there as well. She was his wife after all.

"Any better?" he asked as he tried to pull away but Ian stubbornly refused to let him move. Smiling again, he hugged him tighter and then finally he was let go. "Now do you feel better?"

"A little," Ian admitted. "… but I'm still so fucked up, Spencer. I don't want to go home with you with the way I am now."

"You should be in a loving environment and I promise I won't push you. It's all up to you Ian. If you really want to leave then I will let it go and leave you alone for however long you want me too."

"I really don't know what I want anymore, Spence."

For the time being he was coming back with Spencer and he was going to try his hardest to make sure he stayed put with him because he was a stubborn man and even more so than Ian.

~*~

"Am I supposed to just tell you why I tried to kill myself?" Ian muttered, shifting in the uncomfortable seat as his new therapist across from him, tilted her head to the side.

"Only if you want too. We're here because of that but we don't have to talk about it, Ian. It's up to you."

Shifting, he glanced out the window and sighed. "I felt like I had no one left after Franklin. I know it sounds stupid but I he was going to be my family."

"What about Spencer?"

His lips twitched and he couldn't help the smile from appearing on his lips. "He's more than family. It's hard to put a label on what Spencer is to me and though he or his wife has never made me feel unwanted, I know he's married with kids. When I found Franklin, I thought I would finally have that."

"Ian, I think you need to try to look past the ideal you had with Franklin. You say he would be your family but it sounds like Spencer considers you as such."

"The kids call me uncle and Kate is like a sister to me. I just… I don't know."

"You were heartbroken in a very devastating way and sometimes the reasons why we do things aren't always clear. It's understandable that your very confused after your attempt but this is why our here."

He left the office feeling more confused than ever but at least he had gotten some things off his chest. He felt significantly better because he was able to talk about everything that happened. Still, he still felt so confused.

"How was your appointment?"

The second he stepped into the door, Spencer greeted him. As it turns out, Spencer was more stubborn then him and after spending half a day in his apartment, he ended up coming back to to his temporary home

"It was all right and I feel better now that I talked to her but we still have a lot to figure out."

About to head up to the guest room he was using, he blinked when Spencer hugged him tightly and pressed his lips against his cheeks. "Spence, why are you acting so sappy?"

"I'm happy your alive and we'll figure this out together… or we won't," he muttered when he realize he didn't like the sound of what he was saying. "All right, what I wanted to say was that I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you so whenever you want to talk feel free to do so."

He smiled softly. "Thanks, Spence. I'm sorry about all I put you through. I just loved Franklin so much and it's strange to have him leave the way he did."

"Maybe one day he can explain it to you," Spencer suggested as he gave him another hug. "So, are you planning on taking a nap or do you want to go out with me to the Anne's Café.. I hear the hamburgers are greasier than ever."

Ian grinned. "Sure. I think an unhealthy lunch will make me feel a lot better."

They'd figure out the rest later.