|I am not brave
Author: blurredspeechslurredthoughts PM
A collection of letters I've been writing you. Mentions of cutting, suicide, and depression, take care.Rated: Fiction T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,464 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12-04-12 - Published: 09-25-12 - id: 3060880
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
I'm not sure if I've ever told you this, or maybe you've never caught onto it, but I'm really "superstitious". Well I guess its superstition? Like when I was planning to see you in August, I had a coin in my hand. I flipped it, saying "If this lands on heads, then I'm going". It landed on tails almost every time. Maybe that's why it was so heart, I had my heart set and it was harder to hear it than to just imagine it? I do it all the time; I'm constantly looking for "signs".
Here are some more examples:
"If a bird flies by before I count to (insert number) then (insert scenario)."
"If _ says _ before (insert time), then everything will be okay."
"If (insert number) many stars are seen from my window, then _."
Stupid stuff like that. Or I get feelings? Like I "feel" so connected to some people. Like you, I "know" what you're feeling or going to say? I just feel it in me? I know when something is wrong (Secret; When you texted me saying "Please don't let him die", I was on the bathroom floor crying uncontrollably and trying not to puke. I didn't fully understand what was happening, I was sitting in my room watching porn when all of the sudden, I burst into tears and felt like I couldn't breathe. A few moments after I'd partially calmed down, I checked my phone. Sure enough, I had a message from you. It was sent only seconds before I'd left the room feeling sick) or if you're in pain, after you describe it, I feel it. I just "know" things? It's really creepy. My mom says she has these same feelings so. I mean not with you, but just people in general. I guess I thought I'd share. This is probably really dumb, let's blame it on lack of sleep and bad grades.