A lock on the heart closes emotions,

a barrier around the mind blocks thoughts.

If I were to close off my own person,

would protecting myself from reality's horrors be achieved?

The ear-piercing levels of disappointed parents,

the pain of a bruised body,

peers' scrutinizing judgment,

I want to block out everything.

To become an emotionless shell that can feel no pain.

Waste of time, useless;

call me anything you want;

failure, piece of crap.

But all I ever wanted was

to relieve myself of the pain

to let go of the misery inside,

to feel something other than depression,

to be happy.