Author: SadieQuinn PM
A story that takes a look at the life of a very disturbed young man named Jeffery. Warning this story contains fictional accounts of child abuse.Rated: Fiction M - English - Angst/Drama - Words: 3,902 - Published: 10-01-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3062447
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: I had this posted before but took down for editing. Also I wouldn't read this story if you're easily triggered.
I gaze upon this world with my dead eyes, you shall see me with one glance I must seem so cold and so alone. I truly am a cold and heartless creature and I chose to be alone so on that judgment you were correct. But no one knows who I am or what is behind my dead eyes and probably never will. My name is Jeffrey Heartland I'm sixteen years old my life may never be known and neither shall I. I'm a child who belongs to no one, I am nobody's child. I have a home and a man and woman gave birth to me, so how am I 'nobody's child' you ask? My so called parents are nothing but lifeless rocks my eyes may be dead like theirs but something lies behind mine and nothing behind theirs, they are rocks. I'm not their child I'm nobody's child.
The story I'm telling begins with me in my room staring at my reflection in the mirror. I looked at this mirror everyday just to make sure my eyes were completely dead and to make sure that I was still human. I did this everyday when I woke up since sleep can truly destroy me it's one of my greatest enemies. I can know nothing when I sleep I can be changed and ripped apart...but I cannot live without it. On that day my skin seemed paler and my green eyes seemed lighter and much more hollow. I had changed only slightly. With a final glance I turned away, the clock read 11:00am. I slipped on a black T-shirt and before I left my room I gazed at the mirror one last time.
Marc Donald sat in his new bedroom staring out the window, his eyes were big and innocent, his lips full and soft. Such a beautiful boy I give a lovely portrait for you to keep in mind. But I did not meet Marc in his bedroom instead I met him on his front porch. He sat there so lonely as soon as I laid eyes on him I had to have him. I knew someone had moved in next door but I didn't think much of it. I never would have thought a beautiful black boy like this would be living right next to me. Especially in the hideous normality that is my home, this suburban area where everyone peers through their curtains trying to hide their hatred for one another until they drown in it. Here on this street the houses all look similar the lawns are well- groomed. Seeing this lovely black boy in this place was unbelievably uplifting.
It's never hard for me to approach a boy who stands or sits alone and he was no exception. I walked right over to him putting on a little smile just so I would seem nice and friendly, I'm sure you can guess why. He looked surprised when he saw me walking towards him. Those wide brown innocent eyes sent shivers of pleasure throughout my body. He looked around seven or eight years old his skin so lovely and soft. I can't stress it enough, he was perfect!
"Hey." I said with the smile on my face. "Ummm...Hi." he replied shyly, his voice was sweet as honey this boy's innocence was irresistible. I could easily tell he was the shy type which in fact is the best kind. "I'm Jeffrey, call me Jeff if you want." I said.
"I'm Marc." he said blessing me with a lovely smile. The name was very fitting to him despite how common it was even more so that it was spelled with a "c"
"So you just moved in, how are you liking the town?" I couldn't see how anyone could like this place. Being the dull, fake place that it was especially the suburban area. "It's okay nice and quiet." he replied.
"You want to hang out? Play catch or something?"
His face lit up, "Yes you mean right now!"
"Yes, of course."
"Just let me ask my mom." He ran in to his house and I waited outside completely patient. Soon enough Marc came outside with his mom, Joanna a considerable thin black woman with a sweet face. "Well I didn't expect Marc to make friends so fast." she said smiling. I expected a different reaction, I thought she would find it strange, me being so much older than her son. But as I would come to find out Joanna was not exactly bright.
"Where do you live?" Joanna asked.
"Right next door."
"That's great! Of course you can play with him Marc, go have fun." She hugged her son and then went back in the house.
"We can play catch with my old baseball, come on." I said to him. He followed me to my house, he was very excited to have a new friend and such and honor it was that it happened to be me.
Me and Marc were close after that. I came to know him very well but I can't say he knew all of me but he did know more than everyone else and that was good enough. It would be awhile before I could touch him being that he lived so close. I knew I had to gain complete trust, as you do with all young children you hope to embrace and luckily it's usually not that hard. I sat with Marc in the messy living room watching TV and talking. You can probably guess that I'm not the talkative type(except when it's necessary) but Marc once you got to know him, talked a lot. "Jeffrey how come I've never met your mom and dad?" he asked. I was expecting this question sooner or later since I always brought him over when the rocks were gone. And of course young boys are just full of questions.
"There sick Marc, they got problems."
"Oh what kind of problems?" he asked.
I sighed, "They're just very sad people."
"Why are they sad?"
"Because they choose to be."
"But Jeffrey why would someone want to be sad?"
"Marc I'd rather not talk about it." I said a little impatiently.
He quieted down and said, "I'm sorry."
Marc turned back to the TV obviously thinking he hurt my feelings or something but I'm not easily hurt especially by a boy that I'm completely above mentally and in all other ways. "Marc can I ask you something?"
"Sure." He blessed me with that sweet smile of his and I had the urge to fuck him right then and there, but now was not the time. "You'll be my friend no matter what right?"
"Yeah you're my best friend Jeffrey."
"No matter what you'll be my friend? And I mean NO MATTER WHAT." I said in a very serious tone.
"Just wanted to make sure." I touched him gently on the the thigh and he didn't seem at all alarmed. I pulled my hand away quickly before I got ahead of myself.
I tell you of my world, I tell of my life, I tell you of me plain and simple. If you want to know me and all my so-called secrets or should I say crimes if that's what you prefer. I will not hold back anything I am who I am . I know I might never be fully loved but there is really no reason to hate me. For hating me you will destroy your own self, I represent a big part of humanity.
I sat on the sofa pondering the day before and one of the rocks came walking by. Her eyes met mine and I gazed back at her coarse atrocious face, she simply nodded and turned away. I looked up to the ceiling and began to laugh.
I'm so alone in this world but spending so much time with Marc had begun to make me feel less alone. The longer I had to wait to ravish him, the more I wanted him, I found myself falling in love with the boy. He was different from the others, more innocent somehow and a whole lot more sweet.
When Marc was staying at his grandma's I set off for town to find me a little boy to play with. I went to Wal-mart you can always find a boy who wondered off in a place like this. The difficulty is finding the right one. I walked through the store, looking around carefully and soon enough I found one. He was a small boy with smooth and beautiful blond hair, he was a little pale for my taste but I could get past that. I saw no adults around him he most likely wondered away from his mother to look at the toys. In this type of situation it was best to move quickly.
"Buying something?" I asked I could already feel the softness of his skin, I wanted to see his tears when I touched him and lick them away. He'll whimper and protest at my touch but will have no choice but to accept it.
"Nah I'm just looking." he said.
"You know they got free toys behind the building." I told him.
"Really?" he said excitedly.
"Yeah, I'll take you back there."
"Well I gotta ask my mom first."
"I already asked her, she says it's alright."
"Okay I'll go!" Seems so easy doesn't it children so young like this are easy to manipulate with promises of toys and candy. But I'll say one thing don't make that judgment to quickly. We walked behind the building a great look of disappointment when he saw that there were no toys. "Hey where's the toys?" he said in a pouting, annoying sort of way. I see this with a good many boys their whining and such. So irritating, it made me want to squeeze every bit of life out of them.
I then seized the little blond boy by his small shoulders and shoved him against the wall. "What are-" he started to say but I slapped my hand over his mouth. "Don't you fucking say anything or scream." I tell him. The look of terror on his face was wonderful and a few tears had already begun to fall.
"I just want to play a little bit..." I said in a more or less comforting voice. Then I slipped my hand down his pants and I circled two fingers around his dick and began to slowly stroke him he began whimpering, even more tears falling "It's okay it'll be over soon... just close your eyes."
The boy was not very memorable since the whole experience was typical. It wouldn't be that way with Marc, I would make sure of that. Trust me I'm a man of my word. I went over to Marc's house where Joanna let me in, it was one of the few times I saw Marc's father, Issac. He's a rock just like my so called, "Parents" I simply waved at him and headed up to Marc's room.
Marc sat on the the floor playing with his toy dinosaurs, he liked dinosaurs one of the many things he liked to talk about. "Hi Jeffrey." he said.
"Yeah hi...you wanna come over my place for awhile?"
"Ohh, my dad says I gotta stay here today"
"What?! Why?!" since when was his dad making decisions? Usually it was all up to the hopelessly dim-witted Joanna, as far as I knew.
"I really don't know he said I needed to spend more time at home and I don't know why."
"Since when did your dad make decisions about where the fuck you go?!" I shouted I was really trying to control my anger but it was very hard at the moment.
"Jeffrey if my mom heard you say that word she wouldn't let me be your friend." Marc said his voice sad and worried.
"Oh well I'm sorry your dad started giving a shit about you since yesterday." I never yelled around Marc so of course he was surprised by my rage. But if things like this were going to be regular he damn well better get used to it.
"Why are you getting mad?" he said close to tears.
I sighed, "I'm sorry just having a bad day is all, I'll come back tomorrow."
I turned and left the room and when I walked down the steps I looked Issac right in his bloodshot angry eyes. His gaze was very dark he was clearly a suffering man but he suffered because he chose to do so. I cast him an equally hateful look then turned away.
"You leaving Jeffrey?" Joanna asked.
"Alright bye then."
I went home where the rocks sat on the sofa devouring TV dinners. We didn't even acknowledge each other and it was best that way. I walked up to my room and locked the door behind me, I caught my reflection in the mirror my eyes were wild a little less than dead. I looked slightly feral with all the strands of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail my hair was always a mess so I didn't care much about that. It was my eyes they were showing madness they have to be void or people will see all my secrets, they will see me!
I shook the thoughts away and fell back on to the bed for the rest of the night I could not sleep and maybe it was best that way.
"I'm sorry Jeffrey." Marc said. The two of us were sitting in my room and not much conversation was going on, he was the one to break the silence.
"Sorry? About what?"
"About yesterday you were really mad." he sat next to me absently tapping his knee, he seemed a bit nervous.
"Forget about it, it's over with."
"Okay." I looked at Marc but he was looking to the floor. I realized that this was the perfect time, Marc clearly trusted me. All the boy wanted was a friend and I'm giving that to him.
"Marc you want to play a game?" I ask him.
"Sure Jeffrey what kinda game?" He was so eager and that was always a turn on.
"I want you to get undressed." I said calmly.
Marc was surprised by my demand, "Why?"
"Marc, it's part of the game and we're friends right?"
"Y-yes." he stood up and slipped off his shirt and then stared at me blankly. Typical, most of the time you always had to walk them through each step. But hey I always liked it, really proves control, doesn't it?
"All of your clothes." I said with a playful smirk. He then began unbuttoning his pants and I was ready to explode in mine. I watched him slip out of his pants and underwear and soon he stood there naked in front of me. Ready for me.
"Are you getting undressed to?" he asked.
"Would you like that?" I replied, licking my lips.
"I..um, I don't know." so nervous and sweet he was.
"Eventually now come sit next to me." Marc did as he was told and was beside me naked and beautiful there was no holding myself back now. I rubbed my hand on his thigh with my fingers gently rubbing against his dick. I then leaned in and kissed him on those soft lips. He shifted uncomfortably but he did not pull away clearly not wanting to piss me off. When I pulled away he asked me, "Jeffrey what kind of game is this?"
"Just go along with it" I assured him calmly, "Marc do you love me?"
"Yes, Jeffrey you're my best friend." he replied in that sugar candy voice of his.
"Say it Marc, say you love me."
"I love you Jeffrey." The way he shivered at my touch was beautiful, my dick was so hard it was difficult to wait but I had to be patient with Marc. He was not just a boy that I would send on his way, Marc was different. I truly was falling in love with him which may tell I'm not the most cold-blooded bastard in the world, that's probably what you think. But believe as you wish. "Marc I've never said this to anyone...I love you." I said, looking into his big puppy dog eyes. "You'll always be my friend won't you?"
"Yes Jeffrey don't be sad I'll always be with you." he probably did not understand all this passion but that was to be expected. The fact that he was trying to understand was so uplifting to me.
"Can I kiss you again?"
"O-okay." his discomfort could still be read. I kissed him once again but this time more passionately. "Now I want you to lay face down on the bed." I tell him once I broke the kiss and without questioning he did what he was told. I slipped out of my clothes, Marc laying before me ready and waiting for me to violate his tender body.
I stroked down his spine and then slipped two fingers into his asshole. He gasped and shivered at the invasion. "You're okay, just relax" I said and then I spread his ass cheeks and forced myself into the tight heat of his asshole. The tightness of a young boy's asshole is breathtakingly wonderful. Marc of course reacted with a cry of pain. I knew he would scream and thrash as I fucked him but that would just make it better.
I started moving slowly and he began to sob loudly, "Jeffrey it hurts!" he screamed.
"Its okay." I assured him, I moved faster becoming more insatiable. He was screaming now his tightness was a little painful making it more amazing. Marc and I were clearly meant for each other if only you could see.
When the lovely time ended, Marc sat on the bed sobbing but he was trying to hold back his sobs. "Were still friends right?" I asked, thinking he might of been hurting too much.
"Y-yes." he said, the most un-difficult boy I had ever been with. "I'm sorry I screamed so much."
The comment really touched me, "That's okay believe me Marc it doesn't bother me at all and don't worry you'll get used to it after awhile."
He nodded and then stood up, "Jeffrey I'm bleeding." There was a blood stain on the bed from where he had just sat and a streak of blood was running down his leg. "You can get yourself cleaned up in the bathroom." I embraced him tightly putting his head against my chest. "Will you help me Jeffrey?"
I moved him away from my chest and then kissed him on the cheek, his tears were still falling. Slowly I licked them away. "I'd love too." I kissed him again then took him to the bathroom to get cleaned up.
I sent Marc home after I got him cleaned up it was a little hard to talk to him afterwords he was slightly traumatized. At least it seemed that way, I needed time to think anyways and that was best to be done alone. I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling there was a lot to think about. Would Marc tell his parents? I had a good feeling he wouldn't but being to certain about things could lead to my destruction. It's painful to worry but it's something that is needed.
A day later I walked over to pick up Marc, I was slightly nervous but I didn't let it show. I knocked on the door and it was answered by Joanna. "Hi Jeff." she said. Her voice was high- pitched and sort of alarming. I gave a fake smile which might of looked ghoulish since it was a bit hard right now for me to even fake a smile.
"Marc home?" I asked.
"Of course, come on in." I followed her into the well kept home, Issac as always was sitting on the sofa staring mindlessly at the television. But he did turn away from it to look at me, it was painful on the inside for him to look at me so darkly But I did not step back instead I matched the look.
"Jeff honey Marc's upstairs." Joanna said, I knew where to find Marc but I felt I needed to wait for her to say it.
Marc sat in his bed seeming mostly normal but slightly empty, "Hi Jeffrey." he said.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"Nothing just sitting around." More quiet than usual but I expected that much, he'd come around eventually. "Can't we stay here today?"
"You know Marc I'd rather not."
"Why Jeffrey? We can do all kinds of stuff here." he said, it was hard to believe that he was actually arguing with me, sort of getting bold.
"Marc for one thing don't get all bitchy with me!"
"I'm not I'm just-"
"Whatever! You don't want me around, I'll leave" I shouted. "You want to be a smart ass with me, I guess I'll make my way out." Angrily I started walking towards the door, I wasn't sure if I wanted to leave him but I did not like to be argued with. So I thought it would be best unless Marc could change my mind.
"Wait Jeffrey! I want you around." Marc cried in a desperate voice, jumping up from the bed, "Please be my friend, you're all I have!" He was crying now and like I said before, the tears of a young boy were always so arousing. I've seen many boys cry.
"Look Marc I don't mean to be an asshole but you got to know a few things, okay?" We both sat on the bed, this was his house so I had to keep a distance, not get too close. You never know when one of his parents might pop in.
"What do you mean?" Marc asked, sniffling and wiping those beautiful tears away. It's a shame I couldn't ravish him at this vulnerable moment. "What I mean is certain things you can do and say can make me very angry." I tell him.
"What did I do wrong Jeffrey?"
"What I'm trying to say is don't question me, don't get smart with me, Marc my way is right. I'm above everyone else so you should follow."
"Okay Jeffrey just please be my friend." And then he fell in to my arms, a very lovely moment and I wasn't thinking what could happen. I held him and comforted him.
"Marc I'll always be your friend."
I thought it was best I left after he cheered up. Leave on a good note, if you know what I mean. Marc truly is the love of my life. So beautiful and amazing, isn't it? I laid in my bed thinking, of course about Marc, the only great thing in my life. The only human being I will ever care for.
This is what love truly is and you may not agree but I don't care. I will lay here alone and ponder my life.