|Unfinished AKA (And Kick-Ass) RPG
Author: Katsurou Shimizu PM
What happens when you cross a gambling genie and a procrastinating programmer? A journey through the latter's uncompleted game itself! Featuring a bumbling hero, his magical girl sidekick, a dark lord intent on juggling his soldiers, and his violently abusive maid. Heavy with slapstick humour and quirky dialogue, with a light sprinkling of romance. Gender Bender Alert.Rated: Fiction T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,198 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 02-17-13 - Published: 10-05-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3063226
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Haruka cursed as she leapt from treetop to treetop, her light footfalls barely touching the branches and leaves before taking off with a dancer's grace. She could see the silhouette of Narwhal Town in the distance, waiting like a wayfarer station amongst the wilderness.
This was ridiculous. This was utterly ridiculous. Instead of preparing her troops for the upcoming battles, she was wasting her valuable time searching for a man whose face she did not know. And what was she supposed to do with this Yukio even if she did find him? The dark lord hardly elaborated on the specifics, merely labeling him as "that funny guy".
So this Yukio is a court jester? I am supposed to forgo my duty as a camp commander so that he can listen to silly jokes?
Repressing her urge to scream and disturb the tranquility of the forest, she unsheathed her katana and gave it a few swings. The branches that she passed broke cleanly after a few seconds of delay and plummeted to the forest floor. The leaves on them tore apart like identical twins and fluttered away in the wind, bidding their farewells.
"I could kill him," Haruka whispered. "I could kill him and explain to the lord that it was all an accident because he tried to evade capture. I could do just that."
Those words lighted a fuse to a huge pile of explosives taped with the label: "Danger: Dark Thoughts".
Remember what you joined him for.
Those words were faint but noticeably loud enough to distract the fuse in its tracks.
Remember the moment when he cut down our father just because his wagon was blocking his path.
The fuse began to sizzle off.
Remember them so that you wouldn't forget even when you had to do the dirtiest and bloodiest things.
Her brother's words, solemn and rough. Her brother, still waiting for the news reporting her successful assassination of the dark lord back at Janbourough Village.
Why me? Why choose me out of the girls?
That was her initial reaction when the dark lord handpicked her to be her personal aide among the army of maid soldiers. Fear and the rapid cumulation of one invasion after another had made her lose her human instinct and purpose, operating instead on automation.
She had forgotten what she was there for.
Now she remembered.
Despite the dark lord's recent eccentricities, she still had no confidence that she could take him down in a one-on-one fight. She knew that there was another opportunity that she could grasp though.
The dark lord wants to revive his own father. I want to revive my own. I know where my priorities lie.
A sneer spread across her lips.
Dente's broadsword stopped in the middle of its swing.
"What is it, cute girl?" Dente said irritably. "You want to take his place? I'm not into killing girls. That's my principle."
Aki stood up, her knees trembling from the acute pain in her abdomen. The clock tower showed Yukio's health bar to be hovering dangerously at a single point. At this rate, even an ant bite would kill him, and she wasn't going to take the chance on him being transported safely back to reality. She prided on her perfect record in granting wishes. Besides…
Aki wiped her mouth and smeared blood stains across her chin.
"I… could pay… a price… in exchange for his mercy."
"A price?" Dente cocked his head. "What kind of price? If you are talking about gold I'm afraid it's going to have to be a huge treasure chest. Because you see, I absolutely detest righteous little kids who think they can barge into every single affair and shove in their bloody judgments."
He raised his broadsword again. Yukio didn't respond to that impending execution. He remained in a fetal position and slept on.
"Wait!" Aki shouted and broke into a spasm of coughing. "Wait."
"I'm losing my patience, girl," Dente said. "I have another old man I need to interrogate and kill off. If you have nothing better to offer I suggest you get out of the way."
He stretched his neck muscles.
"Otherwise I'll have to break my principle and add you to the list."
Aki stood firm under his gaze.
"I'll accept any price that you offer, as long it is not of monetary value."
"Oh ho?" This offer got Dente interested. "Any price?"
"Then," Dente considered for a moment and eyed her up and down. Aki had a sinking feeling about his proposal.
"The price comes in two parts," he said finally.
"The second part comes when the night arrives, but for now I'll go with the first. It's a very simple one," Dente licked his lips. "You see, nothing stimulates me more than a good old-fashioned striptease. And I think it's even more exciting when done in public."
He winked at Aki with a leery grin.
"You get what I mean?"
Aki nodded. She proceeded to remove the straps of her dress.
"Hold on," Dente shook his head. "Not this way. You've got to give the whole package. I need the expressions, the movements and most importantly the sounds. The way you are doing it, I might as well end the little fella's life here."
He swung the sword down.
Dente's broadsword stopped within an inch's contact of Yukio's sleeping face.
"No," Aki's voice broke into a sob.
"Oops, almost did it there," he chuckled. "He wouldn't be so lucky next time mind you."
Aki proceeded to remove the straps of her dress in the manner which she thought was sensual. She made sounds that she thought were sensual. She made expressions that she thought were sensual.
Dente broke into a smile.
"That's more like it." He sat down on the cobblestone and watched the show.
The surrounding crowd began to applaud, as per the Warper's instructions.
Soon Aki was naked except for white undergarments. She shivered in the cool air.
"Very nicely done for a first timer," Dente said. "I'll give you a B plus for the appetizer. Let's see how the main course pans out eh?"
Aki closed her eyes.
Why am I doing this for a good-for-nothing programmer?
She reached behind her back and started undoing the fastener…
Aki heard a dull thump, followed by the sounds of cement pulverizing and falling. She opened her eyes to see a newcomer to the scene. It was a teenage girl in maid uniform, with a katana fitted on her right hip.
And she looked furious.
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING!"
Aki dropped her mouth open when she took in the damage suffered by the clock tower. The crater easily put Daisuke's version to shame.
The crater exploded into a swarm of fragments, bringing down the entire clock tower into a crumbled mess. All that's left was a shadowed hulk walking in the billowing smoke, with the hologram levitating in the air above him.
Dente emerged, bloodied and snarling.
"Haruka Oone, you meddlesome little bitch," Dente spit a glob of saliva and blood. "I thought the lord asked you to take care of his little girly army? What are you here for?"
Haruka folded her arms.
"To keep an eye on you. It seems he feared that you would be up to no good when unsupervised. And he was right."
She pointed her finger at Aki.
"What are you doing making the poor girl take off her clothes!"
She pointed her finger at Yukio.
"And what are you doing trying to kill a commoner?"
"A pot calling a kettle black, Oone. I was trying to interrogate the old man, and these two had to come and interfere."
"I am getting sick of your arrogance," Dente said. "Just because you are the lord's pet doesn't mean you can come and violate my principles."
"Your principles? A vile creature like you has principles?"
"Shut up bitch." Dente licked his blade. "I'll finish you off once and for all, and get two for the price of one. Tonight will be the night that you two lasses see the power of Dente in bed."
Haruka shifted into battle stance, her left hand poised on the hilt. Her reply was clear.
Dente placed his broadsword casually over his shoulder. His eyes glinted with a cold, murderous fury.
The two faced each other in the middle of the town square.
Aki watched them, awed and oppressed by the battling auras competing and clashing with one another. The fight had yet started, but it had already begun.
And then it began.
All Aki could see throughout the quick encounter was an occasional flash of katana and broadsword materializing in different sections of the town square. The rapid clanging of weapons also jarred her eardrums. At the end, the battlers reappeared in mid-air and descended. Dente landed with the clumsiness of Big Foot; Haruka touched down with the grace of a swallow.
Both of them had their backs faced to each other.
Dente was the first person to break the silence.
"I have to admit, Oone, you are pretty good for a lord's pet."
"Of course I am, that's why I am the lord's pet."
"It isn't over yet though. Let's go for another-"
"You have already lost, Dente."
"Wha…" Dente spluttered. "What are you talking about?"
"Look at the left side of your chest."
Dente looked, and his eyes widened as a red spot on his clothes began to spread into a damp sticky patch.
"How… did you…?"
"Slow reaction, Dente. You will always remain a second-rate fighter if you can't even sense that you are gravely injured."
Aki swallowed. Going by Haruka's reasoning, Yukio ranked as cannon fodder on her list.
"You bitch. I am so going to-"
His last words ended abruptly.
Haruka returned her katana to her sheath, already disregarding her opponent as he vanished from the world. She made her way towards Govan Truis. The last reversist was still holding on to life by a thread, breathing shallowly. Cold beads of perspiration dotted his pallid, wrinkled cheeks.
She brought up her hand and felt on his forehead. Sensing a weak magical resistance from within, she unleashed a bit of her own, slowly but surely eroding the walls which concealed the secrets and memories within.
That was one benefit of being the lord's pet.
"Excuse me," Aki interrupted. "What are you doing?"
"Giving him his last rites," Haruka smiled. "Why don't you wear your clothes first? The crowds are watching."
Aki blushed and picked up her fallen dress and wand.
Haruka fished out a vial of potion from her dress pockets. "See that your companion over there drinks this as soon as possible."
Aki received it with a murmur of thanks and hurried over to Yukio's side. She gently lifted his head and dribbled the blue liquid down his throat.
The hologram levitating in the air showed a gradual refilling of Yukio's health bar. His face regained a healthier peach color, though he probably wouldn't wake up for a while.
Aki turned to see Haruka walking towards her. The reversist's body was already gone.
"Given him his last rites?"
Haruka nodded and spoke.
"You two might want to leave this town quickly. Dark days are ahead of us."
Aki remembered something that Yukio had said earlier.
"Aren't you working for the dark lord?"
"I have just decided to betray him," Haruka said. "Listen, I wouldn't mind if you two join me down on a journey west. I could protect you from such happenings again."
Aki's suspicions lingered, though not for long. After all, she had just saved them.
I can ask Yukio about the next course of action when he wakes up. It is his own game anyway.
Even though it has gotten pretty screwy.
"Where are you going?"
"Do you like books?"
"We are going to the library," Haruka said. "The library in the forest."