INT: FORM CLASSROOM – MORNING

Artemis stands on her desk, arms outspread, all eyes on her.

ARTEMIS (imitating an Italian accent)

I also don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, "I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand distributing." So they can't resist. I want to control it as a business, to keep it respectable. I don't want it near schools! I don't want it sold to children! That's an infamnia. In my city, we would keep the traffic in the dark people, the coloreds. They're animals anyway, so let them lose their souls. (breaking character) If he wanted to give crack to black people he shouldn't have made it so fucking expensive.

Applause. Artemis gets down.

DIANA

That was incredible.

ARTEMIS (singing 'Cooler Than Me' by Mike Posner)

I speak the words of a script cos I can't find my own

I'll make this school my domain until I have a home

I've got a sleeve full of tricks

I know that you'll like this

Cos everybody else does

Nobody's cooler than me

I got scars and EDs

I got a social disease but

That's just who I am

Nobody's cooler than me

But I'll never admit

I'd rather not be this kid

But, you know how it is

Nobody's cooler than me

I got everything

I'll ever need

And don't tell me money can't buy love

Bullshit

If that is true

Then I'd be screwed

But everyone loves me

DIANA

I got you all figured out

ARTEMIS

I wouldn't say that so quickly

DIANA

You're textbook

A walking cliché

You probably think that the world revolves around you, don't you, don't you

ARTEMIS

I've just told you the basics, listen, I got more

I'm actually pretty complicated nearer my core

DIANA

Please, that's just a screen

I know that underneath

That's what you really believe

ARTEMIS

Nobody's cooler than me.

DIANA

So tell me about your life

I guess you had some tough times

ARTEMIS

Don't make fun of me Di, you don't know what it's like

DIANA

I know just who you are

You say you earned those scars

But they're just fashion to you

ARTEMIS

Nobody's cooler than me

DIANA

So take your EDs

And all your problems

And go spread them to someone who cares

ARTEMIS

That's a bit harsh

Give me a chance

We could just be friends

DIANA

Well maybe, well maybe

ARTEMIS

Don't think about it, think about it

DIANA

I guess we'll see, we'll just see

ARTEMIS

We'll take it out

DIANA

OK we'll see how it goes

And how much there is to know

But I won't indulge you with all of your moans

ARTEMIS

Maybe it'll be good for me

When you want you can leave

DIANA

Just tell me why I should stay

ARTEMIS

Nobody's cooler than me

The song is over.

ARTEMIS

What can I say; I'm an entertainer. Here's my card.

DIANA

This is an ace of clubs.

ARTEMIS

Cos I'm an ace in clubs. Wanna go out tonight?

DIANA

Where to?

ARTEMIS

There's this great place called Cable I read about.

DIANA

Don't you need ID to get in there?

ARTEMIS

My sister mass-produces them. She'll make you one for peanuts.

DIANA

Just curious…what's peanuts to you?

ARTEMIS

Two hundred? (seeing Diana's face) It's all good, it's my treat.

DIANA

She makes you pay for them?

ARTEMIS

Do you have any idea how much it would cost anyone else?

DIANA

Should I?

ARTEMIS

Well, yeah. In my world it's all too easy to get fleeced. (she checks the clock) Hey, wanna come somewhere with me?

DIANA (remembering the LGBT presentation)

Actually I kind of wanted to go somewhere.

ARTEMIS

Come on Di, no-one else will go with me.

DIANA

Where are you going?

ARTEMIS

Where are you?

DIANA

Alright, alright, I'll go with you.

ARTEMIS

Awesome!

INT: BLACK BOX – AFTERNOON

Diana and Artemis are the only ones there.

ARTEMIS

Ugh, what do they have, telepathy? Probably trying to avoid the people who only come here to see who's gay.

DIANA

Is this…the LGBT Society?

ARTEMIS

Yeah. Sorry, I'm writing it off as a quirk.

DIANA

No it's…fine.

ARTEMIS

It doesn't matter anyway cos they've obviously moved the die-hards somewhere else.

DIANA

Er, Missy?

ARTEMIS

What?

DIANA

You know it's only 1:00 right? It starts at 1:10.

ARTEMIS

You are officially the smartest person I know. Which is really depressing.

Minnie comes in. She gives Artemis a steely glare.

ARTEMIS

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War room!

MINNIE

Come to gloat?

ARTEMIS

For your information, my interest is purely recreational. It's so great to have a place to feel accepted!

MINNIE (unimpressed)

If I hear you've been spreading rumours I will come to your house and personally fuck your sister.

ARTEMIS

Like you haven't been thinking about it anyway.

MINNIE

This is serious. This is a place of acceptance, peace and safety.

ARTEMIS

Remind me why you chose the Drama studio?

MINNIE

None of that smart mouth either. No interruptions, no jokes and no swearing.

ARTEMIS

Aren't you going to ask after my new friend?

MINNIE (seriously, looking at Diana)

Get away from her while you can. You here because of her?

DIANA

Pretty much.

MINNIE

Well that's a shame.

A few girls come in, stopping short at the sight of Artemis.

MINNIE

It's OK guys, we've got a deal.

LISSIE (fascinated)

Is she…?

ARTEMIS

None of your fucking business.

MINNIE

What did I just say? I can throw you out on your ass anytime I want.

ARTEMIS

What happened to this being a place of acceptance, peace and safety?

MINNIE

God give me patience. OK everybody, take a seat.

They pull some chairs into a circle. Some other girls join in and soon there are about fifteen.

LISSIE

So I trust you all wrote your poems over the summer?

ARTEMIS

Poetry? Really?

LISSIE (to Minnie)

Is she gonna be here all the time?

MINNIE

One can only pray. Now! Poems. Who has one?

LGBT GIRL 1 raises her hand.

Yes?

LGBT GIRL 1

This is my first time and…I'm not gay. Is that alright?

MINNIE

Of course! It's not a requirement. And no-one needs to come out if they don't want to. It's just a club where we have some fun and learn tolerance. But if anyone's interested, I'm gay.

LISSIE (ruffling her hair)

I think they guessed, Minnie. I've got a poem.

ARTEMIS

Me too.

The others stare at her.

ARTEMIS

What? Have you been to Greece? It's boring as Hell. So I went on the Portal to see if there were any challenges I could do and I saw your thing about the poetry. So I wrote one.

LISSIE

Well…go ahead.

Artemis pulls a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and clears her throat.

ARTEMIS

Sometimes I need some time to think

Sometimes when my pen's all out of ink

Sometimes when I feel out of place

Sometimes when I need some personal space

Days run together

No time to sleep

Fast paced like a race

I'm in too deep

It's all too loud

But I'm too proud

To say it gets to me

Sometimes bad stuff starts surfacing

Sometimes I want to do something

Sometimes I have so much to say

But sometimes I have to walk away

Life's hectic when you have to find

Enough money to buy some time

To stop, to slow, get off the go

I'm just resting my eyes

Sometimes I need more help than you

Sometimes I might have feelings too

Sometimes I want to fly not care

So sometimes I sit on the stairs

There is a long pause.

DIANA

How did you write that?

ARTEMIS

Elementary, my dear Watson. Plus I was high as a kite at the time.

MINNIE

I may have to stand corrected. Thanks Missy, nice work. Who's next?

ARTEMIS

Can I just add something? If any of you ever tell anyone I wrote that, you're dead.