The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

~Psalms 23

Chapter 1

It was a bitter September night for Seattle, Washington when the unthinkable happened to Olivia Price. A senior in high school, she never expected it to happen. But, then again, no one expects something this horrible to touch their lives.

The evening had gone normally for Olivia, as the youth group of Church of Christ Westside finished its session. Olivia enjoyed her youth group, and her small group sessions. She often found herself moving her busy schedule around Wednesday nights so she could make it to church. She never wanted to leave after small groups were over—she always wanted the small group to last longer, because she felt she learned the most during the after-discussion of what Michael's sermons were about.

Almost everyone else had left, leaving Olivia and Dana, her small group leader, still deep in discussion about how she wanted small groups to look this year.

"Honestly, Dana, small groups is the best part of youth group for me. It's the best part of the week. I can come here on a horrible day, and come into small group and feel completely changed on my outlook of my entire day. Sometimes I just wish that we could just do small groups." She wondered if, as the head pastor's eldest daughter, if she could make that happen.

Dana smiled. "I'm glad you feel that way," she said, "maybe we can meet as a small group once a week or so and just have small group discussions."

"I'd like that," Olivia smiled.

The two women got up from their seats in the small room, and left, beginning to head towards the lobby of the old church.

"Does your brother still have your car?" The older of the two asked, as they walked down the hallway.

Olivia nodded. "Jay needed more night hours, so I lent him my car while Mom's gone and Dad's in the shop."

"Would you like a ride home?" Dana offered.

Olivia shook her head. "I live just a few blocks from here; it's no trouble to walk home. I could use a twenty minute walk, anyway. It gives me some time to get the message to sink in."

Dana checked her watch. "This late at night?" She asked. "It's nearly 9:30." As the two reached the lobby, they looked out of the window, which revealed a dark night sky.

"I'll be fine, really." Olivia assured. "I'll take the bus if it makes you feel better."

Dana sighed nervously. "Just…be careful, okay? If anything happens, you can call me. I won't mind taking you home, you know."

"I'm always careful." Olivia smiled. Waving, she opened the heavy door, and left.

xXx

A cold burst of wind brushed past Olivia as she walked down the dark sidewalk. Olivia shivered slightly, and zipped up her sweatshirt, pulling the hood over her head. She noticed a car passing slowly in the opposite direction she was heading. She noticed the Massachusetts state license plate before it sped up and turned onto 8th, going past the church. She frowned slightly, as the red headlights disappeared.

Odd.

Suddenly, Olivia's phone vibrated in her pocket, distracting her from the strange car. She pulled it out to read its message. Hey, sweetie. It was a message from her boyfriend, Matt. I didn't get to see you after youth group tonight.

Olivia smiled, as she replied. I stayed a little late with Dana. You could have stopped by, she wouldn't have minded.

Matthew Holloway had been Olivia's boyfriend for the past two years, ever since the two entered their sophomore year at Garfield High. The two had met in their freshman year, becoming good friends by the end of that year. By the end of their sophomore year, the couple had gone exclusive. Olivia smiled to herself as she remembered how nervous he had been when he'd asked her out.

The eldest of five Price children, a senior in high school with a hard-earned 4.0 throughout all four years, and the leading striker in Garfield's varsity soccer team, Olivia Price was truly blessed.

Lord, thank you. You are truly amazing, I am so blessed. You've given me more than I could possibly need, and I couldn't ask for more. You are so good, Jesus…so, so good…

Olivia stood at the curb, waiting for the light to turn. It was only a half block to 10th Avenue and Halladay, where she would meet the bus. She'd get let off at Kinnear Park, and from there it was a ten minute walk home. She let her mind wander along the dark streets lit up by the city. She and Matt had a wonderful future laid out for themselves. They had both had received athletic and academic scholarships for soccer and football to Calvin College, a private Christian liberal arts college in Grand Rapids, where they planned on majoring in nursing and youth ministry.

As she walked onto the first stretch of 10th, a car pulled alongside the sidewalk, slowing to her pace. She felt her heart quicken when she recognized the same Massachusetts plate.

"Excuse me," A disembodied male voice called from the black Mercedes, "I'm a little lost. Can you tell me where Marshall Park is?"

"Oh, sure, I live right by there. You take a…"

"It would be easier for me if you got into the car and told me where to drive…I could drop you at your house if you want. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be walking alone at night…"

Somehow, Olivia didn't trust this man. She knew better than to get into a car with someone she didn't know.

"No, I can walk. I'm just about to the bus station. Now, if you take a right at this next intersection, and then drive down Olympic, you should arrive there just fine."

"Thanks," the man said gruffly. He quickly drove away, leaving Olivia confounded. Why would he want to go to Marshall Park at this time of night? Olivia reached for her iPod, plugging in her headphones. Tuning the iPod to Tenth Avenue North, she walked the rest of the way to the bus stop.

The ride took a little over ten minutes, dropping her off between Olympic Way and 7th. She still had a few blocks to Comstock, and she quickened her pace, feeling uneasy as sky grew darker. She passed Marshall Park, and thought of the man in the Mercedes. Did he get what he needed? Was he there right now? Olivia's walk quickened from its already fast pace, as she hit the middle of the park, and saw the same Mercedes driving past once again. The car stopped, and its headlights turned off. She saw the man get out of the car, and calmly walk towards her. Olivia quickened her walk again, and so did the man. When Olivia burst into a frantic run, so did he. Soon, he caught up to her, grabbing her by the arm, and pulling her down into the bushes.

xXx

At 9:55 Wednesday night, September 12th, Edward Masen received the call at Seattle Police Department. For Seattle, it had been a quiet night, a few calls from concerned neighbors about the noise level of their neighbor's parties. This call was different.

"Someone's screaming," A woman said. "Please, come quick, someone's screaming at the park."

"Which park, ma'am?" Alison asked.

"Marshall." The woman replied. "Please, hurry…"

The caller ID and the street address. 7th Avenue, right across from Marshall Park. Speaking with calmness, Edward assured that he would send a squad car there within minutes.

Detective Alison Black was taking a slow sip of her drip coffee when her radio crackled with an incoming message. She picked it up, rapping it to get a clearer message. Depressing the intercom button, she identified herself and her car number.

"Can you repeat that, Masen?" She sighed. "Radio's on the fritz."

"There's been a disturbance near the park at 7th Avenue, Alison. How close are you?"

"A few blocks. I'm on my way." She put the radio back in its holder, making a sharp turn near the church on 8th Avenue west, flashing her lights. She noticed a black Mercedes coming towards her on west Halladay, its red taillights glowering in the dark, and slowly disappearing as the driver turned onto 9th. Alison kept straight on Halladay, turning down 10th, never passing the car.

She came to a stop at 7th, grabbing her weighted flashlight and radioing Edward, telling him that she was at the location. She surveyed the park as she got out, looking for signs of a struggle. As she flashed the light at a nearby bush, her heart rate quickened, and she felt her hair stand on end.

Something was wrong. Very wrong.

Adrenaline pumping, she turned to notice lights of the three houses near the park to be on. A woman came out of the middle house, looking frazzled.

"Over there!" She said, pointing towards the same bush and the baseball outfield.

"Over there, by that field. Please hurry, I think someone was hurt."

"Go back in your house, ma'am," Alison said. "We'll take care of it." She noticed another squad car, and watched as Forrest Holbrook stepped out. The woman fled up her steps, but stayed behind her screen door.

"See anything yet?" Forrest asked Alison, as the two headed towards the field.

Alison shook her head. "Nothing yet. But I feel something. Something happened here, and it's not just your average disturbance. Something very wrong is happening."

Forrest shook his head, sighing.

Alison nodded. "You take the infield. I'll stay here by the bushes."

Forrest nodded, and walked away, towards the baseball diamond. Alison continued her search, and saw evidence of a struggle. A torn white sweatshirt that was matted with mud. An iPod with its headphones disconnected and a few feet from its respective Apple product. A backpack with its contents spilled. A Bible face down, open. Alison picked it up, and scanned the page it was open to.

"Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For yours is the kingdom, the glory, and the power forever amen."

Alison flashed back to the time she was in Sunday School, reciting this very prayer. Shaking her head, she tossed the Bible back. She'd walked away a long time ago, not agreeing with what was taught in church. As she cleared her mind of the memory, Alison heard the whimpering of a hurt girl coming from the bushes, and her heart caught in her throat.

Oh, no. She thought. Not where Mason plays Little League...

She placed her hand over her holstered gun, and directed the flashlight to where the noise was coming from, she noticed the girl, no older than 18, sitting in the fetal position, her legs pulled to her chest, her head buried in her arms.

There were traces of drying blood tangled in her chocolate brown hair. Alison noticed the fact that the girl's jeans were missing, and her underwear, which appeared as if it was put on a few minutes prior, held a fresh bloodstain.

Anger filled her being, but she tried not to show it so she could talk to the girl. "Easy," She said, lowering the flashlight and kneeling to her level.

"I'm Detective Black, miss. I was called down to help you." She continued to talk quietly, hoping that she was giving the girl a sense of comfort. She raised her head after a few minutes, her icy blue eyes wide and dilated. Her lower and upper lips both held cuts, her right eye swollen from a blow, and her forehead cut and swollen from another blow. Alison could not tell if the blows were delivered by a punch, or a weapon.

The girl buried her head back in her knees, and began to cry. Compassion, anger, and sick rage filled Alison's entire being. Whoever did this would pay.

Forrest approached from the infield. The girl's head raised again, her eyes wide with fear. Alison could see the pulse hammer in her throat.

"It's alright, miss." Alison said, feeling the girl's fear. "This is Officer Holbrook; he was searching to see if there was anyone around." Alison stood, and moved so she could see him.

"Rape?" Forrest whispered in his partner's ear.

She nodded. "Better call an ambulance. Lights on if absolutely needed, and no sirens."

"No," The girl spoke, barely a murmur. "No, please, don't." She said brokenly.

"I want to go home."

"You need medical assistance," Forrest said.

"I want to go home."

"You're going to be alright," Alison said, lowering back to her level. She used a firm but calm voice.

"Tell you what. I can call your parents, and we can have them meet us there, okay?"

The girl nodded after what seemed to be a few minutes' consideration. Alison glanced at Forrest, and instructed him to call the ambulance. After he left, Alison stood up, and held her hand out towards the girl.

"It's okay now, you're safe."

The girl scooted out a little bit, but stopped in a crouched position, hugging her middle and rocking slightly. Her body shook with fear.

"Do you know him?" Alison felt a lump rise in her throat.

She shook her head.

"Did you see what he looked like?" Alison reasoned that the rape may have occurred while street lights were on.

"He had dark hair," The girl replied. "Light stubble, like he just shaved. That's all I know." She tried to get up, but let out a sharp gasp of pain. Alison held her hand out to help her, but she drew back sharply, clearly not wanting to be touched. She curled into a slight fetal position, crying.

"What's your name, miss?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"We want to help, and the only way to help is if we know your name."

"Olivia," She answered. "Olivia Price."

"Okay, Olivia," Alison smiled reassuringly. "Everything's going to be alright. I'm going to call your parents as soon as we get to Swedish, okay? I'm not going to leave your side. I promise." She hoped that whatever doctor was on call tonight was a woman, because the paramedics sure didn't.

The two men arrived with a gurney. Alison was able to coax her out of the hiding place, and got her onto the stretcher. The men wrapped her with warm blankets, and strapped her to the gurney. The whole time Olivia kept her eyes shut, not saying a word.

xXx

10:30 P.M., just as Jacob Price Sr. finished the outline for his next sermon and was just about to get ready for bed, his cell phone rang with the familiar chorus of The Words I Would Say.

He glanced down at the iPhone, checking the number. It wasn't anyone he knew, but he felt a strange feeling as the phone continued to ring. Something was wrong.

"Hello?" He answered, feeling his heart drop to his stomach.

"Is this Jacob Price?" A woman's voice replied.

"This is Pastor Jacob Price, yes," Jacob nodded, hoping that this wasn't one of his eldest son's friends calling him this late.

"Olivia Price's father?"

His heart sank lower, and he felt himself sit back in his chair. His mouth suddenly went dry. "Yes, this is."

"Hello?" The woman asked, having not heard Jacob's answer.

"Yes, this is her father," He said a bit louder. "What happened to her, is everything okay?"

"Mr. Price, I would like to have you and your wife come down to Swedish Medical Center. Bring some of her clothing. I can meet you two there."

"Excuse me?" He asked. "Who are you? What happened to my daughter?"

"This is Detective Alison Black," The woman sighed heavily. "Mr. Price, your daughter was raped." There was a click and the line went dead.

Jacob sat there, holding his phone to his ear, completely frozen. Olivia was raped? Rage filled his being. Olivia, his firstborn, his daughter, was raped.

"Jacob…" He heard his wife call out. "Come to bed. It's late. You can work on the sermon tomorrow."

When he didn't reply, Lisa walked from their bedroom into the office a few rooms down.

"Jacob?" She furrowed her brow, finding her husband in a statue like state.

"What happened?" She too felt her heart sink into her stomach, as she crouched to his level.

Jacob swallowed hard. "Olivia's at Swedish. She…" His eyes looked into Lisa's, and she knew.

Lisa shook her head. "No. No, she couldn't have been. She's…" Lisa closed her eyes. She didn't know what it was that filled her body, anger, rage, angst, horror.

"We need to go to Swedish, and bring her some clothes." Jacob now felt devoid of all and any feeling.

"What about the others?" Lisa stood up with her husband, following him to Olivia's room.

"I'll stay here. I'm sure she'll need you more than me."

"Jacob, she needs both of us for support."

"Lisa, I'll stay here with the kids. You be with Olivia." Jacob took a step towards his wife, and gave her a small kiss.

"She'll want you more than she'll want me right now."

Lisa nodded. "I'll call you as soon as I know anything." She gave her husband a quick kiss, and grabbed some clothes from her daughter's dresser. She didn't care to change her clothing; she needed to get to her daughter.

xXx

Olivia could not stop shaking. She wanted to shower, but the nurse had told her she needed to wait until the doctor had seen her. She had helped her undress and change into a backless hospital gown, which made her feel naked and vulnerable, like she did at the park. She watched as the nurse placed her ripped and stained clothing into a large plastic bag, her muddied vans in another, and handed them to someone outside the room.

Olivia shook violently, and wrapped her arms around her legs. Her chill had nothing to do with the temperature of the room, which was roughly sixty-eight or seventy. The cold came from inside, a chill that she knew would never go away. Even though the nurse had given her a blanket, it didn't help. She still felt the cold.

"I'll go get you another blanket, Miss Price,"

Olivia almost objected, but let the nurse go. It was odd…Olivia didn't want to be alone, but at the same time, it was all she wanted. Olivia clutched the edge of the scratchy hospital blanket, sitting at the edge of the bed. She wondered what she would wear home, if her parents were here. It was silent in her room, the silence increased her anxiety, and she prayed the nurse would come back soon.

Olivia wanted nothing more than a scolding shower. She almost lusted to stand underneath the scalding water, washing every inch of her body to cleanse herself of what happened. She felt dirty. So, so dirty.

She knew that she would never be able to wash away what happened. Physically, maybe. But mentally? Would she ever be able to wash away the horror that encircled her mind and heart? To cleanse her mind of the sheer terror? Olivia closed her eyes, trying to block out the images that flooded through her mind. The touch, the feel of his hot skin. She was safe now…wasn't she? She thought she had been safe before, but that was merely an illusion, ripped from her soul. Opening her eyes, she glanced around the room, looking for a path of escape. She didn't want them to help her, she was fine. What was the use of this if she wasn't going to go through with a trial?

Suddenly, someone rapped on the door, and she jumped in surprise. A doctor entered, and the nurse who had taken her clothes followed behind him.

"I'm Dr. Chen, Miss Price. How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Olivia mumbled without much thought. She didn't really know what to say. How did he think she was? She grimaced, and felt a few tears fall down her face. Chen winced, wondering if he had asked the wrong question.

"Can I take a shower now, please?"

"In a little bit," He took a tape recorder from his pocket, and pressed the 'record' button as he set it on the counter.

"Now, let's see about that eye," He gently touched the bruised flesh, and flashed a bright light into her eye, checking her pupil, as he explained he was recording the exam to help Detective Black detain her attacker. After he was finished with her eye, he went to the cut on her forehead, asking her to lie down so he could quickly stitch it up. Throughout this, the nurse spoke softly, encouraging her to follow Chen's instructions.

After he stitched the cut, he examined her other scrapes and bruises, asking her questions that made her relive the nightmare. A few made her feel uncomfortable and embarrassed, as she blushed or paled with each answer. Are you on birth control? When was your last period? He wanted her to reveal memories she'd rather keep hidden, and loathed to speak out loud, especially to a man.

"Do I have to talk about it?"

"It will help the police if you can tell us what happened."

But, who would help her? She thought God was supposed to protect her, and he didn't do anything to stop it.

Where were You?

Dr. Chen told her to scoot down to the table's edge and place her feet in the stirrups. When she didn't understand, the nurse explained as delicately as she could.

"He needs to do an internal examination, Miss Price, to make sure that you're not injured anywhere else, and to collect specimen for evidence."

Olivia furrowed her eyebrows, not knowing, and not wanting to know what she meant. "Evidence?"

When the doctor explained more thoroughly, Olivia felt nauseated. Oh, God…Jesus, why do I have to do this? Haven't I gone through enough already?

"I think I'm going to be sick…" She mumbled. The nurse rubbed the small of her back soothingly as Olivia sat up, holding a basin underneath her chin. The doctor left for a few minutes, giving her time to recompose herself. After ten minutes or so, the nurse was able to calm her down enough, and the doctor returned to start the examination.

"It'll be over soon," the nurse said with sympathy, "you can squeeze my hand if you need to."

The internal exam was painfully intrusive. Several times he had to ask Olivia to relax so he could finish the exam. Afterwards, he apologized profusely, and asked the nurse to cut her fingernails for more evidence. They too were placed in a plastic bag. The nurse then took Polaroid photographs of Olivia's bruised and battered face, thighs, arms, and shoulders, to which again Dr. Chen apologized generously upon seeing how crushed the young woman looked.

"You can sit up now," The nurse said softly.

"Emily, have admissions get the paperwork ready," Dr. Chen said as the nurse passed him to wash her hands.

"Yes, sir," She turned, heading out of the door.

"No!" Olivia protested, feeling her heart jump. "I want to go home."

"I understand your feelings, Miss Price, but…"

"No you don't," Olivia said accusingly, narrowing her eyes at the doctor. "How would you understand?" She knew that all of the assurances he gave her were procedure, she'd read it in all her books. She felt degraded, defiled. How could he possibly understand how she felt? She barely could.

Oh, God, why have you betrayed me? What have I done to deserve this?

"I just want to keep you here overnight, for observations. You may have gotten a concussion."

"No." She felt as if that was all she could say.

"We just want to start you on estrogen therapy…"

"Estrogen…?" She furrowed her eyebrows, and looked at the doctor. "Why would I need…?" Suddenly, her mind made the connections, and her eyes widened.

"I…I might be pregnant?" Her eyes searched Chen's.

"The chances are very small, Miss Price, but for extra precautions, we'd…"

"No," She said suddenly, without thought. If she had already conceived, it was too late. She clutched to edge of the bed, closing her eyes. How many research papers had she written on abortion? How many times had she stressed her dislike of the fact everyone seemed to forget about adoption? The pro-life pages on Facebook…

"I want to go home." She said finally. "Please."

The nurse, Emily, and Dr. Chen looked over at each other. She walked to his side, and they talked in hushed tones. After a few minutes, Dr. Chen walked out, and Emily handed Olivia the blanket, which she wrapped around her shoulders.

"I'm very sorry, Miss Price." She said. "If you want to take the medications tomorrow, you can."

"No."

Emily sighed. "Well, that's fine too. I know how hard this must be for you. If you miss your period you can come back and we can do a menstrual extraction."

Olivia tried to keep her mind off of what Emily was saying. Being raped was hard enough, but to think of the possibility that she was pregnant? That was too much for her to handle.

Oh, Jesus…Oh, Lord, why would you do this? I thought You were supposed to protect me…

"You can take a shower now."

Emily led Olivia down the hall, into a quiet room that held the shower. She stood beneath the hard, blistering spray of water. Her skin blistered, and she scrubbed so hard that she began to bleed. Good. She needed to feel something other than the numb, cold feeling that seemed as if it would never go away. Still, she felt dirty. Giving up, she slid down in the corner of the shower, and wept.

COME TO ME, ALL WHO ARE WEARY, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. BRING YOUR HURTS, BRING YOUR SCARS. BRING THE LOAD THAT YOU CARRY, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.

The familiar verse and song filled her mind. "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28. She'd had that verse memorized since she was a Cubbie at AWANAS. Until now, that verse had meant so much to her. It was her favorite song, especially if it was Nicole C. Mullen singing. But, how could she go to God with this pain if she couldn't trust Him to protect her anymore?

There was a knock, and Olivia jumped slightly.

"Are you okay, Miss Price?" Olivia recognized the voice as Emily's.

"Fine," Olivia hated how shaky her voice sounded. "I'm fine."

"Your mother's here with a change of clothes,"

"Mom's here?" Olivia sat up.

"She just arrived a few minutes ago. She's in the waiting room. Detective Black's speaking with her now."

Relief flooded Olivia. She could go home. She closed her eyes, leaning against the tile of the shower.

"I'll leave the clothes on the seat for you. There's no rush, Miss Price. Take all the time that you need. I'll be just outside if you need me." Olivia felt grateful for Emily. She would be far enough away to give her a sense of privacy, but not so far away to make her feel alone. After a few minutes, she emerged from the hot shower, steam enveloping everything in the vicinity. She dried herself quickly, donning the fresh cotton underwear, a light-wash pair of skinny Levi's, the white cotton camisole, the blue and black stripped sweater. Even after putting on her grey woolen socks and the black pull-on boots, she still felt the cold. It was as if the dark act stole her soul and replaced it with the everlasting chill.

She tied her hair into a low-lying ponytail over her right shoulder, and was ushered into the waiting room by Emily. As soon as she saw her mother, she saw the pain and compassion that filled her eyes.

As soon as Lisa saw her daughter, she bolted from the sofa and hugged her daughter tightly.

"Oh, Olive," She cried. "Oh, my sweet, sweet girl. Come on, honey. Let's take you home. You'll be okay. We're going to get through this." She let go of Olivia, and lifted her chin.

"Everything's going to be okay. God will make it alright."

Why would He do this to me in the first place, then? Olivia wondered.

Lisa thanked the nurse, and then ushered her daughter out of the hospital, into the waiting car. When they arrived home, Lisa watched silently as her daughter got ready for bed. She got into pink silk pajamas, and changed her ponytail into a knotted bun at the back of her head. Lisa grew the courage to ask Olivia how it happened, and surprisingly, she told her. She poured out everything, her anguish, her fear, the feelings of shame and defilement. She cried, and so did Lisa.

"I'm sorry I asked," Lisa wrapped her arms tightly around her daughter. "I won't talk about it anymore, not unless you want to." She gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead.

"Try to put your head out of it, sweetie. Get some sleep. I'll call the school tomorrow and let them know…the situation."

Olivia ignored her mother, pulling the comforter over her head. Lisa sighed, and walked out of her daughter's room, switching off the light and closing the door quietly.