Too Much Hurt For Pain

Chapter 1

15 year old Serenity looked down at the ground. She didn't care, nothing mattered to her anymore. Most days she wished she was dead, others she felt dead. The once happy go lucky girl was gone, and everyone could see it.

The blonde haired, green eyed girl who had once graced the halls with her presence was gone. Now she dyed her hair black, pulled on a hood, some skinny jeans, high tops and went to school looking like that. This had gone on so long that, people stopped noticing her, and that's how she preferred it.

Her mother had recently married, and since then her life had been nothing more than living hell. Her mother wasn't a strong woman, therefore needing a man to tell her what to do every step of the way. If her step dad believed she should be beaten black and blue, she was beaten black and blue, no questions asked. If she needed to be locked in a bedroom for days on end without food, so be it. Her baggy sweatshirt covered the bruises and the hood and her bangs covered the ones on her.

Serenity walked into her house. Her brother was already home and they were alone. Only person she cared for was her twin brother. Though she was grateful that the beatings and abuse occurred when he wasn't at home, she knew he was aware that there family situation was in some way dysfunctional. She quietly snuck into her room, hoping to God no one would hear her. She walked into her bathroom and pulled out a tin. In the tin, there were 10 or so razor blades, she took one out and glided it up her arm, causing a trail of blood to follow. She looked at her arm with numb, dull eyes. She stopped crying months ago. No, this was how she dealt with it. She knew it was wrong, she knew it would cause suffering, but that was not until people started finding out which they never would…

She quietly walked out of her room, and much to her shock, her brother wasn't too far behind her.

"I know you got home, Serenity," the boy whispered.

"Garrett, don't do that, you know I hate people doing that," Serenity mumbled.

"What don't you hate, Ren?" Garrett whispered, calling her by her nickname.

"I don't know," and with that she walked down the stairs and started her chores, otherwise the beatings would come, and she would avoid that at all costs.

Garrett watched painfully as his sister was struggling to finish her chores with speed and precision. He also noticed her flinching doing it. As if she was in physical pain or something of sorts. He loved his sister deeply, they were all each other had growing up, but of course times were happier then. Ever since their step father came into their lives, she just wasn't the same and he just didn't get it. Their step dad was a good guy and didn't understand what was bothering her so much. So he decided to do something he was totally against doing, but did it anyway.

He snuck into her room and opened the drawer by her nightstand and found an emo looking diary. He wasted no time examining it. The first page was the day after the wedding.

Mom got married yesterday, glad to finally see her happy, but not sure if I should tell her about Nick, I don't want to ruin her happiness…

Garrett read the last part over and over again. He blinked and he kept reading. He turned the page to a much later date, it was May 22nd, the day before their birthday. And it was this entry that made his heart completely drop.

I guess I was a little careless today. I forgot to clean up around the fireplace and Nick let me have it. He dragged me by the hair into the study. He was dead mad. He undid his belt and thrashed me wherever the leather could reach, everything besides my face rather. So after he wasn't satisfied enough with that he took the cigar he had been smoking and proceeded to burn me. It hurt like a bitch. And I guess he thought I wasn't black and blue enough, because he pushed me into the wall and gave me the worst beating I think a person could ever feel or think of, and what's worse, he did it all knowing I was in no condition to fight back. I was literally left on the floor, and couldn't move for an hour. But I knew that if I didn't, Garrett would find out, and things would be a mess, and our whole family would fall apart. After dragging my body, I went to the bathroom and did something that no one would thing Serenity Jillian could ever think of. I took off all my clothes and looked at the damage. It was worse than I pictured. My entire body was with the exception of my face, which had a bruise on it, was cut up and bruised. I was so mad that I just took my razor blade and slashed my wrists. It felt so good. But now I guess I'll need my sweatshirt because there is no way in hell I can cover these without these…

Garrett stared at the page. He could see the blots of ink on the page. She was crying. And he was pretty sure she hadn't cried since. He set down the diary and wiped his eyes. He hadn't realized that the Serenity he was seeing wasn't just a phase. Not something she would get over soon or easily. This Serenity was born out of numbness and pain. He walked out and saw his sister working, trying to get the chores done. He was feeling sick to his stomach. He knew that if Serenity found out that he knew, things might get worse. So he retreated into his room, feeling an awesome weight in his stomach. A weight he wishes he could remove. So he lay down and closed his eyes and began thinking…