Nathaniel, his hazel eyes dashed with green, sparkling with flecks of gold- making me feel as if he can see right through me; Nathaniel, his soft lips moving against mine; Nathaniel, his arms touching me, holding me…it always comes back to him.

Everything that I feel is because of him, so much pain, anger and chaos but also so much happiness and ever so much love…

He began loving me in our freshman year and he realized it pretty soon…me? It took me much longer, until our sophomore year in fact but his love was enough to make me fall, and I fell hard. I didn't realize quite how hard till I had to choose between him and Matt…

He liked me first and he liked me more…always. We were perfect…but no one would accept that, us least of all…because the most popular guy in class cannot date someone who's not, especially when that someone hates being talked about behind her back…or should I make that bitched about?

With Matt it's different, for all his popularity everyone links him with me; "you two would make the cutest couple," they say and I can't help but agree.

So why am I this addicted to Nathaniel? He doesn't have a place in my happily ever after, does he?