HOSPITAL

Scene 1

A reception

A typical reception of a Hospital ward there is a long desk with a foot long lip at the front of the desk an opening (patients room) and a door (closet) to stage left and the main door to the ward to stage right. There is some floor area in front of the desk. There is a radio playing cherish by Madonna in the back ground as the scene starts. The two characters are sat on office swivel chairs behind the desk. The room is lit by fluorescent light and the heart monitor which can be heard from the patients room is beeping periodically.

Ben is moving around on the chair and Mike is completing his paper work.

BEN: Mike

MIKE: YES

BEN: Do you think our cars will be frozen in the morning

MIKE: (continues doing his work) Yes maybe

BEN: mmm

MIKE: (continues doing his work)

BEN: Mike

MIKE: What, what is it

BEN: uhhh…..

DOOR BUZZER SOUNDS

BEN: It's the weasel

MIKE: Don't let him In

DOOR BUZZER SOUNDS TWICE

BEN: I have to Mike, He won't go away. (Ben gets up and opens the door he comes back with man who everyone knows as the weasel)

WEASEL: (starts walking around the room taking stock of the items of the room he counts the tacks on the notice board he check the supplies in the closet and finally he walks over to the desk and starts counting the pens in front of mike, mike does not look up and carries on with his paper work)

WEASEL: ...6,7,8. Anymore in the desk Mike

MIKE: Nope thats your lot.

WEASEL: (the anger is building up inside of him then he calms himself down) There must be more then this you got two boxes last week. check your drawer there must be another box in there.

MIKE: (hardly look up from his work) Can't you see I'm busy.

WEASEL: Were all busy if you can't be bothered I'll have a look myself (he leans over the front of the desk and begins to open the draw)

MIKE: (he slams his hand over the draw) No its my draw ill look. (he look at the weasel and he steps away mike quickly opens and closes the draw) Nothing in there.

WEASEL: You Hardly looked

MIKE: I'm telling you theres nothing in there so let me get on with my work

WEASEL: (getting angrier but trying to calm himself) How did you check you barely opened the draw for second you have to let me look there's a box of pens missing, (panicking) I need to complete the stock take there must be a box of pens somewhere

MIKE: Wow Wow Wow calm down take it easy

Small Pause

MIKE: Ben come over here a second (he opens the draw) do you see a box of pens in there

BEN: Nope Mike not a bean

MIKE: (looks at the weasel) Satisfied.

WEASEL: But they can't be gone. Can't be. Are you sure there not there

MIKE: BEN!

BEN: No Pens I'm afraid we must have gone through a lot this time. sorry i couldn't help.

MIKE: Don't worry Ben its not your fault I'm the one with the problem

The weasel starts to lose it

WEASEL: When I was asked to make budget for the year I did not budget £400 for pens I just didn't mike are you sure you use so many pens how do you go thru so many and why do you need those pens they cost a fortune why not use regular pens.

MIKE: I need them I can't right without that them I have a osteoporoses I told you that. It's a disability.

WEASEL: but why do you use so many.

MIKE: its all these reports they makes us you have to document everything. Even if the patient farts you need to write a report. Its shit but thats whats like. Red Tape you catch what i'm saying

WEASEL: but non of the other departments use so many

MIKE: BOLLOCKS. Then there not doing there job properly. This patient needs special care you know that

WEASEL: but they have more patients. Mike your making me look bad, the budget is…

MIKE: I'm sure you will find some way to cut back you always do.

WEASEL: (angry) that's not the point we should not be spending £400 a month on pens. You don't need special pens the budget...

MIKE: Screw the budget and stop wasting my time (goes back to his report)

WEASEL: Screw the budget...The budget keeps you in the job mister.

MIKE: Ben get him the fuck out of hear, i can't talk to this idiot anymore

BEN: come on mate you've been long enough. haven't you got work to (starts moving him towards the door) I think there some loo roll on the 4th floor that needs changing. Nurses in sync and all that.

WEASEL: Mike the department will hear about this you cant take to me in that way. I am an administrator.

MIKE: I have a message for the department (Mike sticks his middle finger up)

The weasel walks out. And closes the door.

Ben and mike look at each other and burst into laughter.