|I Married a Douchebag
Author: EternalDarkAngel PM
I was psyched about this project hoping to get paired up with my high school crush, Will Crowley. I pulled a name out of the boy's bag: Drew Knightly, all around sexy, all around popular, and most importantly all around jackass...and now I have to marry him. Yay me - - *Read and review and check out my other stories*Rated: Fiction T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,241 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 05-14-13 - Published: 10-24-12 - id: 3068329
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Bleh someone tell me to stop writing. I'm sleepy. There we go. Remember these characters?
I couldn't wait until school started. Yes I know eager about school. How backwards. But in Psych class we were doing a project. A family project. So I'm pretty excited because I might just be paired up wtih Will Crowley. I've been crushing on Will Crowley since...well the third grade when he gave me his pizza because my mom packed me chicken salad instead of tuna fish. She knows I can't stand chicken salad. Anyways he gave me his pizza, and I've been crushing on him ever since. Plus he's really cute with this All American boy look. You know the type: tall, lean, blonde, and blue eyed. There's only one flaw to him, his best friend Drew Knightly who's probably the exact opposite of him. Drew is the demon seed of Chucky. I'm not even joking. He's mean, arrogant, and thinks the world should bow down to his mighty awesomeness. Super hot super popular people are always like that. Well about eighty-five percent are.
I met my best friend Piper in the hallway going on the way to Psych class.
"Calm down Arianna!" she said grabbing my arm to stop me from bouncing. We were the first ones in with the exception of Amber Cross. She rolled her eyes when she saw us. You can already guess her type. The bitch of the school. I took my seat beside Piper and waited while the others filed in. Drew sat by Amber. Of course. Why shouldn't the perfect people flock together?
About five minutes in Mr. Dean walked in. Mr. Dean is hands down the coolest teacher ever. He's about thrity-one years old with all of his hair, which is very rare for men his age. Hell Prince William is somewhere around that age, and he has a receding hair line. He also doesn't act like a teacher. He teaches to the point where we actually have fun learning which is why half of the Seniors are taking Psychology. Like this project for instance. It's going to be fun.
"Okay silence silence," Mr. Dean said. Immediatly the entire class shut up. See? We respect Mr. Dean to because unlike regualr teachers he doesn't tell us to shut up. He reached behind his desk and pulled out an assortment of brightly colored bags. One pink, another blue, hell they even had a rainbow one. "We all have been knowing about this project since last week, and I'm sure most of you are excited." He paused and looked as most of the class whooped. I noticed Drew and Amber were not one of those people. With a closer glance I realized they were feeling each other underneath their table. Not surprising actually. Mr. Dean smiled hugely and clasped his hands together and continued, "You know the basics. This projects counts for seventy-five percent of your grade so if you fail it you won't graduate. You will be giving an oral report on how you liked your life, was the person how you percieved them to be, ectera ectera. Don't worry about your other classes all teachers are on board and they think it will teach you some responsibility." He paused again giving us all a playful eyeroll. "Remember students you're living out a pretend life meaning you'll get a prentend marriage, a pretened job, yadda yadda. You have to spend a maximum of thirty days with your partner unless you're sick or worse. No scratch that if you're sick your partner should take care of you. Any marriages that end in divorce will automatically recieve a zero for this project."
Someone snorted. Mr. Dean eyed Drew impassively. "I'm not joking around Mr. Knightly unless you would like to fail this year and have to repeat the twelfth grade over again."
Drew rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
I wanted to punch him in the face. How dare he be mean to Mr. Dean. NO ONE is mean to Mr. Dean. Mr. Dean sighed and continued on. "Let's get started."
He called up various people and it was amazing to watch. So amazing I was envious when Piper got called ahead of me. It was for the fact that she was lucky enough to have her boyfriend, Kyle pull her name in the marriage bag. She squealed happily.
"Okay now here's the college bag, both of you pick a card," Mr. Dean ordered holding up the rainbow bag. They both reached in and pulled out a card. "Ah," Mr. Dean smiled. "Piper you went to a technical college and Kyle you were smart enough to get into Yale."
Kyle ran a hand through his sticky outy dark hair and beamed. Piper elbowed him with a wink. "I married a smart guy." In the end from the bags they pulled from Kyle ended up being a cardiologist who made three hundred thousand a year while Piper ended up being-get this- a cosmetologists who only pulled in about thirthy thousand. But on the plus side they ended up pulling a three story house.
I was so excited when he called me next and pulled out a pretned marriage license. Really the certificate said 'Pretend Marriage License' with two spots for the couple to sign their name. I placed my hand into the black bag chanting the name, Will Crowley over and over again only to pull out...Drew Knightly.
"Uh," was what came out my mouth first.
Mr. Dean peaked over my shouler and whistled long and low. "You have your work cut out for you," he whispered before turning to the class and saying, "Arianna is now paired with Drew Knightly."
It seemed the whole class was in shock, but I only paid attention to 5 faces.
Amber's face: Hostile rage.
Kyle's face: Shock.
Piper's face: More shocked.
Will's face: Smiling as he always does.
Drew's face: The most shocked of them all.
"Mr. Dean please," I whispered.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry Arianna. You're a good student but you pulled the card."
He got out the wedding veil and both Drew and I, begrudingly on my part, signed the wedding license. Mr. Dean got out the college bag. I reached inside with no hope only to pull out the prestigious card labeled, "Oxford."
Mr. Dean whistled again. "Wow Arianna." Drew pulled next and showed Mr. Dean the card. Mr. Dean's eyes bugged. "Now that I wasn't expecting. Congratulations Mr. Knightly on becoming a graduate at Darthmouth University." He shook Drew's hand. Drew on the other hand looked as if he were Albert Einstein himself. Because we both got great colleges we got to pull from the better jobs bag. I raked in as a Lawyer getting a nice fat income of one hundred and fifty thousand a year. Drew managed to astound us all again by getting Male Model with a very big paycheck of 2.2 million a year. Plus Drew who was way luckier than Piper pulled the mansion card, meaning we had a big house, decked out with a pool, personal chef, maid, the works, you name it we most likely had it. We were definatly living a good life. Mr. Dean gave us a plastic fake credit card with our total amounts and sent us to sit with each other at our table.
I sighed heavily and slumped my head on the hard wood.
"I bet your glad you got me for a partner," Drew whispered in my ear.
I sat up tossing my long brown hair behind my back and glared at him. "Hardly," I hissed.
He looked taken aback. It was probably the time anyone has ever insulted him. Upclose I realized the rumor was true. His eyes were indeed a strange shade of violet. In fact they were sorta...well beautiful.
"Your Arianna the head cheerleader right?" he asked.
I nodded. "That would be me." Yes it just goes to prove not all cheerleaders are evil bitches from hell.
"You're fucking hot," he said with a wink. I blushed hotly and punched him right in the arm. It wasn't like he didn't even feel it. Oh but he did get mad. "What's your fucking problem I gave you a compliment?"
"You," I said angrily jabbing a finger at him. "You're such a douchebag!"
"And you're a bitch!"
"Ahem!" Mr. Dean cleared his throat. At this point Drew and I both realized we had drawn a lot of attention. "If you two are done fighting Will and Amber would like to pick their income."
WHAT?! I jerked my head to the front of the class. Sure enough Will Crowley, the Will Crowley who was destined to be mine was paired up with Amber Cross.
"Well," Amber said with a nasty sneer twirling a blonde hair around her fingers, "we know the firsts ones who's gonna end up in a divorce."
Will and Amber were the last to go. Will who went to Harvard, got a job as an Ansthesiaologists and also got three hundred grand. Amber who turned out to be a highschool drop out-hmm I see this as becoming a reality-worked as a McDonald's manager and got only a measly twenty five thousand a year.
"Okay now that that's established each day you'll pick a card fromt the Situations bag," he gestured to a large pink bag, "where they have over one thousand cards with numerous situations such as..." He held the card out to Will. Will picked one, read it, and handed it to Mr. Dean, "...such as the Crowley family has to have marriage counseling." He looked at Will and Amber. "See me for recess for your counseling." He took their credit card and scanned it through a fake cash register. "This leaves them with a total of three hundred and twenty four thousand. Remember class as an adult you have to pay nothing comes free. So be wise with your spending. If you have money left on your card by the end of the project you will recieve bonus points. If you need to take out a loan because you over spent then you will be deducted an entire letter grade, I suggest if you run out of money do this or ask your rich friends to be nice to you because if you run out of money and can't pay me for the things you need without taking out a loan you will be deducted two letter grades. Okay moving on."
Piper pulled and got an Happy Anniversary card. Mr. Dean gave them both a slice a cake and five bucks each. I let Drew pull hoping we might get cake and moeny instead he pulled 'Happy Time.' Both Drew and I looked at it in confusion.
Mr. Dean laughed quietly. "What would adults call happy time?"
Huh. My eyes grew big. Ohhhh. "Wait you want us to-"
"No!" Mr. Dean said shocked. "A kiss on the lips works fine. Trust me I do not need you two doing any of that."
"Well here goes nothing," said Drew without emotion then adding, "I've done worse."
He pulled my face closer caressing my cheek for a split second. He leaned down and placed a kiss passionatly on my lips lingering their for a full three seconds before pulling back and placing another kiss on the tip of my nose.
"Aww," Mr. Dean cooed then went to other students, but I didn't notice. All I could do was stare at Drew who was busy humming along to some song. Every nerve in my body was a burning blaze. I wanted to take his head and demand that he kiss me some more. But that didn't exactly make sense because I don't even like Drew. Mr. Dean finished with one minute to spare. I was still staring at Drew. He noticed this time giving me a seductive wink.
"It's gonna be an interesting twenty-nine days won't it sweetheart?" he asked with a I-know-you-want-me-smirk before grabbing his booksack and exiting the room.
Oh hubby have you got that right!