There was once an old cat called Herman

His old master kept him, for he exterminated all the vermin.

One day a lady came by

She said to Herman, "You are as sweet as Pie!"

Now, the old man was poor,

and he was willing to sell his cat

For he didn't have anything to stuff into his jaw.

The woman offered him a hundred dollars,

She said he needed some new coat collars.

Old Herman was now so fearful,

For although his life wasn't cheerful,

He could go wherever he pleased,

And it looked like this woman wanted to give him a squeeze,

To hug him and squish him all day long.

He couldn't take it any longer.

He let out a mournful song.

"Please let me stay

Where there's disorder and dismay

Where there's calamity and caution,

Where you get very small portions

For I'd rather be with my old master,

for I love him so,

Then staying with you

It would be an awful disaster!"

But, of course, the humans couldn't understand.

He thought he'd soon be at the lady's house

Probably wearing a pink band around his neck

watching the birds peck

at the seed at the ground

flying to freedom whenever they feel.

"But, at least," Herman thought

"I'll have a decent meal."

But to his surprise and excitement

His master said with a smile

"No, thank you, Ma'am, but I have an idea."

And sat down on the pile

Of old towels that was his bed,

shooed the lady,

and turned to Herman instead.

"Well,old pal. I have an idea to make money," he said.

"I'll hire you out to catch vermin.

I'll charge a fee

of thirty three.

We'll soon be rich, Herman!"

So it went.

The old man came out of retirement

and opened a business

With a sign that said, "Herman's:

He'll exterminate all your vermin!"

Herman and his master could soon afford a house,

And as they cuddled up to sleep at night,

Herman thought, "All because of a mouse!"

Written 3/12/07