|She's My What Now?
Author: TheBloodEdge PM
Life's been going pretty swell for me. My dad's finally maturing past his childish mentality, my grades are looking pretty good and best of all, my childhood friend is now my girlfriend! We made a marriage promise at the very same place we met and I plan on keeping it! Well... Planned. Let's just say, to rob me of my happiness one more time, my dad pulled one very dick move on me.Rated: Fiction T - English - Family/Humor - Words: 2,572 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11-05-12 - id: 3071758
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Chapter 1... Why'd I Even Say That?
The full moon was in full view, not a single cloud obscured its white surface which somewhat shone like a pearl in the night sky.
We were at that tree. It all began here. This tree is the reason we met and the reason we're this close. It was a normal tree to any normal person. Of course, you could see a whole lot of engravings on the trunk, usually done by lovesick couples who think that their relationship's going to last forever only to break up moments later. And then there's those little swear words done by juveniles and delinquents and juvenile delinquents.
I stood beneath that tree, shaded by the moon's majestic shine. Well, the moon doesn't actually shine, it's a reflection of the light that the sun emits and... I'll stop now.
Anyway, in front of me stood my childhood best friend, now girlfriend (Go me!), who was flustered as flustered can be. If I cut off her head and put it on display with fresh tomatoes, nobody would know the difference.
... Did I just think about cutting my girlfriend's head off?
Beneath that redness was a smile that could light up any man's day. A smile of happiness. A smile of embarrassment. A smile of... I'm out.
Her fringes covered her eyebrows as her bob hairdo fluttered in the soothing night wind. Her eyes that were as brown as... Mud...? Uhm... For lack of better comparison... Her eyes that were as brown as mud dazzled as she stared into my eyes. The pink scarf she wore danced in the wind as her beige coat kept her warm. She was a goddess. A being that was so magnificent, I don't know what she's thinking being together with me.
Or maybe I'm exaggerating because I'm in love. Who knows?
The fall wind really was something. It was cold. Yet it felt comfortable. Well, if your definition of comfortable consists of constantly being smacked by dead leaves. I highly doubt that.
"How long have we been staring at each other like this...?" She asked so suddenly as her grip on my hands grew tighter.
"I think a year has passed." I answered with a joke.
"That can't be right..." She shook her head.
"I don't know, time always flies when I'm with you." I grinned.
She moved closer. "Yeah, we started our date just morning and now the night has come down upon us."
Hey, cheesy poetic things are reserved for the narrator, no stealing my shtick. I love you, but narrate in your own head.
"I'll probably grow a beard if I hang around you too much." I let out a chuckle.
She chuckled with me. "Then let's grow a beard together."
What the? She wants to grow a what?
"No way." I moved my face closer to hers. "You can't pull off a beard. And you're beautiful the way you are, there's no way I'm going to let you add an anomaly to that."
When I said she was beautiful, her cheeks reddened so much more. "Mikan, I know this is sudden but..."
Oh crap. She wants to break up, doesn't she?
She continued. "I think we've been together long enough..."
No no no no no no no! No. No. No. No! No! No. No! No no no. No no no no no no. No! No no no no! No no no no no. No no! No. No! No. No. No no no! No. No. No. No! NO. I don't want to hear this.
Her voice grew softer and softer. "And I hope that you'll understand..."
Kowalski, options. Option 1, boot to the head. Option 2, run Forest run! Run for your life! Option 3, cut off her head and put it on display with the tomatoes. Option 4, there is no option 4. Option 5, Hyper Kamehamehadoukensharasengan-Limit Exa Nova Shoot Over?
"Will you marry me?!" She shouted with a trembling voice.
Her eyes widened as she let go of my hands. "I-I mean! You don't have to if you don't want to but but kraklaflarka- Well, not now but but but but defujetgah!" She was throwing mindless gibberish into her sentences.
I giggled. That giggle turned into a laugh. I pressed my hand against my chest to hold it down but it couldn't stop. She pouted when she saw me laugh at her.
"Uuuu... Now you're just laughing at me..." She mumbled with a grumble.
I patted her head. "No, no. When you worded it just now, it sounded like you were going to break up and well, I was really scared out of my wits." I moved my arm away so she could see my smile. "I'm glad. And of course I'll marry you."
"Gurk?!" She tensed up as she stepped back. Steam was literally coming out of her ears. Or maybe it's my imagination. "Don't just say that without thinking you... You... Youuuuu! Dummy!" Wow. That really stung.
I stepped ahead toward her and held the back of her head. "I'm your dummy." I pressed that tomato of a head against my chest. "Besides, we already made that very same promise like a decade ago."
"But we were kids that time." She looked up at me. "Now we're done with school and we're on our way to college so... This is a very important decision that needs a lot of thought."
"If it's you, I don't need to think, cause you're more than a soulmate to me." I gazed into her mud brown eyes. "The answer is yes. Infinite times over. I love everything about you, even your flaws. I want to be with you, till the very end of time."
She looked down and covered her face with my chest. "We'll be dead before then..."
"If I die married to you, I'll be the happiest dead man dead!" I shouted enthusiastically. I then patted the back of her head. "Hey, let me see your face."
She looked up at me with tears streaming down her eyes. The smile she had told me those tears were of joy and not sorrow. She was so happy she was crying. "I don't like to cry in front of you."
"No sweat." I wiped the tears of her eyes. "My shoulder is always there for you to cry on."
I walked her home. It was a long, downhill walk but with her, it was totally worth it. We talked about various things like say, who would be cuter as a girl in a bikini, Obama or Romney? Why the coyote is always chasing the roadrunner. Why Japan is so obsessed with moe. Whether Hyper Kamehamehadoukensharasengan-Limit Exa Nova Shoot Over is a viable attack name. What would happen if a psychopath met a vampire. What would happen if two antisocials met.
After a long (TOTALLY WORTH IT!) walk, we finally made it to her home, or rather, her tiny apartment. She lived with only her mother and even then, they aren't on the best terms.
"Call me tomorrow!" She waved at me as she walked backwards to the apartment.
"Of course I will Kanade! Who the hell do you think I am?!" I shouted back as I took my vibrating phone out of my pocket. She was soon out of my sight.
And now... I have to go home to that deadbeat father of mine. Dammit.
I let out a sigh as I found a single text message sent from him to me. I started walking back home as I read it.
"Cum hom i hv a srprse 4 u." It read.
... He misspelled come in the worst way possible.
My dad can be summarised with one word. Troll.
From the moment I came out of my mother's womb, he dedicated his very soul into screwing me over. For goodness sake, he named me Mikan! That is not a name of a badass who can take on three armed man with nothing but his fists! It's like he wanted me to get beaten up for the rest of my life!
When I was a doe-eyed infant, he took compromising photos of me in ridiculous get-ups. Trust me, I never drank, smoke, or wore hipster sunglasses as a baby. Those pictures were completely staged and no one, and I mean, NO ONE would ever molest household furniture like that!
There were so many times that I'd burn those pictures. But that scumbag always has a back-up handy, hidden all over the house. It's like he was frickin' Aizen! It was either I leave those pictures be, or risk the revealing of much more embarrassing photos...
He was child. He was less mature when compared to me. As I grew up, he grew down. He played lots of pranks on me, called me stupid names and acted like a total moron in front of everyone. Only one person could make him stop and she was his wife, my mother. She would always scold him for his immaturity, so much that you'd forget that these two are married. If it wasn't for her, I'd be a dead twig floating in a sea of embarrassment.
... And then she left us. Forever. It was a freak road accident and I couldn't stop it. I waited at school for her to pick me up but she never came. And she'll never come.
I was sad. I cried a lot. But I swear, it hit my dad far worse than me. He's the adult here, but guess who has to take care of him? Me. He would come home every day, drunk off his rocker, and he would act like a giant baby. He was a completely unreliable parent.
It took forever, but I managed to pull him out of his idiocy. He started to mature, he started to finally have a backbone. Although, there were times I wish I hadn't done so as he became a clingy and doting parent. Dude, I am in high school, there is no need to kiss me when you drop me off!
Amidst my inner rambling, a car whizzed by me. It looked very familiar, but I decided to not think about it too hard. My dad has a surprise for me. This'll be good...
I finally made it back home. It was a two-storey house that was fit for a family. Right outside, I noticed that very same car that whizzed by me just now. As I read the car number, it hit me that the car belonged to no other than Kanade's mom! Stupid me, why didn't I realize that earlier?
Wait, what is her car doing here?
I took a gulp before I pushed the door open. It wasn't locked. In front of me was a flight of stairs. The living room was down the hallway to my left. I crept my way there, hoping that something stupid wasn't about to happen. Unfortunately, it did.
The moment I peered into it, my father and Kanade's mother jumped up and shouted, "SURPRISE!"
I wasn't surprised, I surprisingly got a surprising text message telling me that there was a surprising surprise waiting at my surprising home, so how can I be surprised if I was already surprisingly told that there would be a surprise for me surprisingly waiting at home. Surprisingly.
I glared at the two adults. My dad wore my T-shirt with the flag of Brittania on the front with slacks down below. His hair was messily done and he had the scruffy leavings of messy shave. He donned a pair of spectacles that seemed to make him look like a pedophile more than anything. To me.
As for Kanade's mom, she wore a revealing strappy dress that only covered about two inches of her thighs. Her shoulders somewhat reflected the light and gave that silly smooth shine you'd find on a really shiny piece of a steel. Her dyed brown hair was straight and curly toward the end.
Wait, what is she even doing here?
I got out of my cover and looked into the room. At one corner, Kanade sat down on one of the chairs with a gloomy look. She looked upset. She looked hurt. I wanted to rush to her side immediately.
"Son, have I got good GREAT news for you!" My dad shouted with the biggest grin I've ever seen on his face. "Meet your new mom!"
Situation analysis. There are four people in this room. Either my dad is self obsessed and wants to marry himself, or he's gone past doting and wants to marry me, or he's just as much a pedophile as he looks and wants to marry Kanade or...
"Hiya Mikan-chan!" Kanade's mom waved at me with both hands. "I'm going to be your mother from today onward!"
Hooray... Wait WHAT?!
"And the best part is!" My dad stretched his hand toward Kanade. "Your best friend, Kana-chan's gonna be your step-sister!"
Step-sister! Step-sister. Step-sister. Step-sister... Step-sister? Step-sister? Step-sister?! STEP-SISTER?!
"We're gonna be one biiiiiig happy family from now on so try to get along okay?" My dad said to me with a wink.
I stared at Kanade who stared back at me. She had a frown on her face. In fact, I'm very sure I had that very same frown on mine. To the adults, it was a happy day. To Kanade and I, it was the worst day possible. The atmosphere was light on one end, and on the other, it was heavier than a mountain. The two of us couldn't even say anything.
I felt like my heart just shattered into a million pieces.
I know that it's been a long time since mom passed away, dad. I know that even you have a right to find happiness. I know that you're ready to find love. I can accept that you found me a new mother even though my mother is the only one in my heart, always is, always will be. I can accept that you'd expect me to get along well with a complete stranger. But this person is not a stranger to me.
This person is my girlfriend's mother.
And just by choosing this one person as your wife, you've turned the only person I have always loved and will always love into my step-sister. We made a promise to get married. We made it ten years ago and we confirmed it just today. And just with one choice, you forced us into breaking that promise.
It stings. It hurts. You didn't just crush my heart dad. You destroyed it. I'm an empty husk of a human shell now. I can forgive all the crap you pulled on me as a kid. But this... This is just... Just...!
Fuck you dad.
FUCK. YOU. DAD.