"The Gingerbread Man"

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful young maiden and her lover who went one day on a picnic together. Seated there on the ground, the maiden opened her basket and lo! there lay a gingerbread man which she had bought for her lover to eat. As she went to pick him up, however, the gingerbread man sat up and leapt out of the basket to the ground, where he immediately ran away, calling behind him, "Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me- I'm the gingerbread man!" The young maiden and her lover chased after him but he soon left them far behind.

Presently, the gingerbread man came across a large field and there was Little Bo Peep and her sheep, which had just come home wagging their tails behind them. They were all tired and awfully hungry and at the sight of the gingerbread man standing there in all of his sugary sweetness was just too good to resist. Bo Peep and her sheep leapt for the gingerbread man, but he sidestepped them and ran away, laughing, "Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me- I'm the gingerbread man!"

He ran all the way to a large forest when, out of breath, he stumbled into Little Red Riding Hood taking a basket of food to her grandmother. Wanting a place to hide and having her reassurances she would not eat him, he climbed into her basket. Soon, however, he heard the little girl singing softly to herself, "I'm taking my grandmother a gingerbread man, and we're gonna have him for tea."

'Oh, (this word has been censored),' the gingerbread man thought to himself, 'they're gonna eat me!' Quick as thought he sprang from the basket and ran off, calling, "Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me- I'm the gingerbread man!" Little Red Riding Hood chased after him but ended up running into a large wolf, who flashed his large yellow teeth at her and slyly asked, "And where are you going this fine day, my dear?"

Unmindful that his pursuer was now distracted, the gingerbread man continued on his way until finally he saw a snug little cottage with the door flung wide open. Never minding the fact that he had passed a girl with golden hair who was running the opposite direction screaming, and looking for a place to hide, the gingerbread man entered the house. There, seated sadly at the kitchen table, were the Three Bears, their porridge having been eaten by Goldilocks. When seeing the gingerbread man standing there, they stood, making hungry eyes at him. The gingerbread man, making the mistake of underestimating a hungry bear, gleefully turned back to the door to run, saying, "Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me- I'm the—"

But the Three Bears were starving, and the gingerbread man looked simply delectable. In their desperate hunger, they moved with the speed of lightning and descended upon him. The gingerbread man never had a chance and soon all that remained was some crumbs and three very satisfied bears.

And now you know the rest of the story.