Your hair curls around your jawline.

So, so pretty.

You meet my eyes with yours and I need to hear your voice.

"Tell me that you love me" I say.

You smile. So fake, so phony. Like those ugly neon lights at the gas station.

"I love you"

So sickening sweet, humoring me, like you're speaking to a toddler.

I wish so badly, so much that you would say it and mean it.

You think I'm drunk.

I've only had one drink, not even a whole beer, not even half a beer.

One drink, so you would believe the smell on my lips.

I meant it when I kissed you.

I meant it when I told you I loved you.

You think it's the alcohol speaking.

You don't believe me, your eyes brimmed with tears, just like mine.

You don't notice.

You let a tear fall accidentally.

I bite my tongue, hard, begging the tears not to fall from my own eyes.

Holding the tears back, like always.

I taste blood and swallow, to rid my mouth of the metallic taste.

I can't blow my cover.

When you think I'm drunk, I can be strong.

I can confess my feelings, without you believing me.

It's a sick game, I know.

I love you.

You run away from my touch.

After you've gone, I curse myself and wish I was stronger.

You'll never know the truth.

Never.

And neither will I.