Author: Our Splendid Songs PM
I have talks with my demon about various things such as lies, loneliness, and listening, and so on. This is not an actual story but more of a personal journal of my own in fictional "settings" and my demon which does not exist physically therefore making it a fictional biography of sorts. Spiritual in the NON-Religious sense.Rated: Fiction T - English - Spiritual/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,339 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 11-24-12 - Published: 11-12-12 - Status: Complete - id: 3073911
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A/N: Decided to just put all of my demon talks into one "story" instead of multiples since they revolve around me and my demon talking. There are no "chapters" and postings are irratic. Read it in between waitings for other actual stories.
Again I am alone with my demon in this solitary room that is my mind. It looks like a dimly lit study with an empty desk, a small lamp, a small bed, and a chair. This is my place. This is my place where I can talk with my demon and no one else may know about my curiosities. This is my solitary place. Solitary. It means alone. I'm alone but am I lonely? "Are you?" he says. (It's a man again. My emotions portrayed him as a man again. In a suit.) Why is it that humans have a natural desire for company? A desire to be around others, human or animal? "Perhaps it is a thing of narcissism," he says, "Humans believe they are most important. Even those who believe they are least important believe they are most important. They want to tell people they are least important and they desire others to listen to their woes. Be it indirectly or otherwise. They are vain in their unconscious." He is indifferent again. He speaks with no emotion and his words are absolute. Can someone who is indifferent and speaks absolutely be lonely I wonder. "I am lonely if you are," he says. Of course he is. He is me. I am him. I am him unconsciously. He exists only in a state of unconsciousness though I do not dream of him. A lonely state to be in.
Loneliness leads to insanity, does it not? "Insanity is repeating the same task continuously and anticipating an alternative result. If one should suspect one day there will miraculously be company when they simply sit alone and do not put forth the effort to invite anyone to join them then I suppose loneliness does in fact correlate to insanity." Insanity has many meanings one of which includes simply a deranged state of mind. "Absolutely true," he says, "simply having an abnormal mind can make someone insane." Deranged and abnormal are the same? "Something deranged is out of its natural order. Abnormal is something that is not normal. The natural order of something is considered its normal state. Thus one may use the words abnormal and deranged synonymously," he says. Your logic makes sense to me. "My logic is your own," he says. Our logic, then?
Am I lonely? "I don't know," he says, "Are you?" By definition loneliness is a depressing emotion experienced by those who are alone. If you are with me I am not alone and therefore cannot be lonely. "I do and do not exist simultaneously. It is possible to experience a degree of loneliness." I suppose this is true. You exist because I exist but you do not exist because you have no physical being. "Precisely," he says. Can one exist in two different states simultaneously? I'm lonely and I am not. "It is not the existence of you in two different states it is the degree of the strength in the state you are in," he says.
I am lonely. "Yes," he says. It creates an unpleasant feeling in me. How can a nonexistent thing create a biological imbalance? "Emotions are biological," he says, "they are made up of varying amount of chemicals in the brain and create certain states of mind be they pleasant or unpleasant." I understand. I don't want to feel loneliness. I want to be wanted and desired by another human being. I want the warmth of lips, the feeling of touch, and the sound of another's voice. I want to wake up next to a person that means much to me. "That is the desire of many humans," he says. Another human wanting another is a pleasant feeling. To have a person that will not tire of your routine habits and become bored. I don't want to feel loneliness. "Then don't be alone," he says. He was gone.