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Zoning Into the Game
Author:
cool4good PM
this is a story written for my little bro and his buds the oldest one is 8 and they are just learning to read i thought that this is a good idea The chapters are very short so they can read them and not get bored Please review and don't tell me it is stupid its for 8 year olds it is my hopes to become a writer for this age group so if you could tell me what to improve on AMAZING
Rated: Fiction K - English - Adventure - Words: 431 - Published: 11-13-12 - id: 3074222
A+  A-   Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten

Hey people this is a story I am writing for my little brother and his friends out of them the oldest one is eight and they are just learning to read so i thought that this would be a good idea. The chapters are incredibly short so they can read them and not get bored. Please review and don't tell me it is stupid, it is for 8 year olds, it is my hopes to become a writer for this age group so if you could tell me what to improve on that would be awesome.

Chapter 1

I zoned out of the game and looked at the time, 7:30. School started in thirty minutes. I walked up the stairs of my basement room and into the kitchen on the first story. I grabbed a pop tart and walked out the door.

I was in fourth grade. My friends and me had invented some glasses that put your brain to sleep and transported you into the game, leaving your body in the real world. "Zoning in" we called it. We decided to keep the invention a secret from adults because they would take it away. After school, me and my group of friends would come to my house and zone into the game. We always left one person behind to make sure we woke up okay. To wake up you just had to think about waking up and you would wake up, but we didn't want to the any chances.

Down the road, I met up with my friends. They were boy and girl twins named Zachery and Chloe. At School they were nicknamed the prince and princess because of their blond hair and blue eyes. We had a newer friend at school named Timothy. I have been friends with the twins since kindergarten.

"Hi Mark," said Zack.

"Hi Zack hi Chloe" I replied

Today after school us three were going to zone in., it was Timothy's day to stay behind.

We waved goodbye when we got to school. The day passed bye quickly. After school we the four of us met up in the library. After greeting each other, we started the short walk towards my house.

When we got my house my mom was there to greet us. We said hello, ate our snack, and went down stairs to my room.

Chloe, Zack, and I sat down in chairs and put on the glasses. I felt my eyelids getting heavy and gave in to sleep. When I opened my eyes it was a magical world.

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