Losing the election, trying to hide my feelings, I forced a smile and turned to congratulate Jessica. My inside churned. I can do this. I told myself. I can hide my feelings. No one can know that I'm sad. I have to be happy. I repeated that over and over in my head. A tear was a bout to fall but I caught myself and looked up on the ceiling for it to go back down. Others passing by said I did a good job but I didn't buy it. If I had really done a good job, I would've won. There's a reason why they didn't vote for me, and I wanted to know what that was. In the end, this was also just a popularity contest. And that hurt even more. That meant they didn't like me as much as they liked Jessica. And that feeling sucked so bad. What made it even worse, we were all friends, how was I supposed to feel? It was an election, so someone had to fall, and unfortunately that was me. I didn't wanna go to the point that they didn't like me at all. And what was worse, I didn't know who he voted for. This should not be a big deal. Somehow, he didn't treat me the same way he did with other girls. He would talk to them so enthusiastically and when we walked together, he would just open up his phone and started playing like I wasn't there. He would hug them when he saw them, but he would never pat my back when I was scared. Somehow, I felt like my feelings never meant anything to him. Looking at him talking to Jessica while smiling, my heart chunked. Why can't I ever have a guy for once? For once in my life, I want to not mess it up with a guy that I really like. I did that a few times already, and I am not ready to do that again. My heart can't take another leap of faith anymore. My heart would break when I see him being friendly with other girls. I wanna cry, but I can't. I also wanna be strong, but I can't do that either. And this is the one thing that I can't tell anyone about. I can't let anyone know that I'm upset about the election, and I absolutely can't tell anyone about him. I have a very clear feeling that he knows I like him, and even though I would never admit it to him, and even when I think that he's an asshole sometimes, I can't help but keep on falling even more deeply in love with him…