|The Funny Thing Is
Author: MelzDayDreamer19 PM
Just random thoughts and feelings about random things that may or may not happen to you. Basically just my thoughts on things and stories about things that have happened to me.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 44,453 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 04-02-13 - Published: 11-16-12 - id: 3074917
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Now I know the next thing on the list of topics that were suggested was cats I believe but I think I'm going to skip straight to high school exams and come back to that one. Mainly because today straight dab at 8:15am this damn morning I wrote my science exam and in the time leading up to that I honestly can say my day went from an ultimate high to a major league piss off.
Before I tell you how my day was, let me explain to you what an exam is and why I hate them deeply. An exam is like this big test that you take at the end of the semester in high school. This big test is worth 30% of your final mark; and for some people this test determines whether you make it (you pass) or you break it (you fail, you have to go to summer school and try to get the credit or you have to retake the class again next year with a bunch of younger children). If you fail, this fail goes on your track record (the record they keep in your file at the office) and that's not a good thing. Especially if you want to get into college or university after high school. If you're like me (a "dork") and go into the exam with like an 80%, you really don't have anything to worry about. If you do poorly on the exam, it's no big deal because you'll end up passing no matter what. But if you're like most of the other students in my science class that go into the exam with like a 50% or 60% or even a 70%, you should be freaking out and should hope you do well on that exam. This exam lasts for 2 hours for grade 9 and 10's, but for grade 11 and 12's it's 2 and a half hours. The exam is suppose to last that long but if you're like me (a "dork") you usually don't need that time to finish the exam. You get to leave if you're done in an hour and a half. The exam is usually 10 pages at the least. My math exam last year for grade 9 was like 15 pages long. This thing was so fricken thick that when they were handed out I thought I got two on accident instead of one. When I realized it was one whole booklet, my comment of 'what the fuck?' kind of came out a little too loud then I thought it would. My crush, some of his friends, and one of my friends turned their heads towards me and looked me like 'What the hell' and then laughed when they saw me looking at the booklet with the basic 'The fuck is this?' face. I saw all this out of the corner of my eye. I'm glad the teacher didn't hear me because I'm pretty sure saying 'what the fuck?' when handed an exam is not considered "appropriate". Anyway, basically; Exams = hell.
Why I hate exams you might ask yourself. Well besides the fact that their just completely fun and magical and make me just so extremely happy inside that I just want to throw up sparkles; leading up to them is just such fun. That right there is called sarcasm find definition. I hate exams with a passion; this passion of hatred is worse than my hate towards dumb ass bitches, cats and the color pink. Not only does it freak me out that this exam is kept on my high school track record, but it freaks me out that it's a gigantic test that might just determine my future. Moving on from that, the ride up to exams is like 20x worse, every single fuckin person freaks out. Like I don't study for exams or any test because if I do I freak out and forget everything so I just "wing" it and I usually do well. I honestly don't go on Facebook until exams are over because almost every single thing that people post on there has something to do with exams and other bullshit having to do with studying. There are posts about how stressed people are and how they think they're going to fail or how long they've studied for. Like I don't really give a fuck how long you've studied for but thanks for updating me every hour on how much you studied and for how long. Oh and also about how much of a rebel you are for telling your parents you were studying but really you were playing video games or texting your friend or whatever the fuck. Like really bitch really, when my mother asks me if I'm studying I tell her straight up that I'm not and that I'm doing something other than that (probably playing video games). Oh and don't even get me started on the bitches who post pictures of them studying or pictures of what their little study nook looks like (binders, papers, pencils, pens, etc. spread out all over the floor). Bitch I don't give a fuck to see what the floor of your room looks like when you study, nor do I give a fuck to see a picture of you "studying". Bitch if you're taking a picture of yourself, how pray tell are your studying? Like shit bitch, it takes time to take the "perfect" picture, edit the shit out of it to make yourself look better than you do in real life (thank you to the ones who made photo shop. Thank you for making conceded whores look better and make ugly gross looking skanks look decent) and then uploading it to Facebook. Like that right there is a good hour and a half to two fucking hours right there out of your "study" time just so you could do that, most of that time was most likely you photo shopping the shit out of your face and making yourself look half good. People like that honestly make me just want to throw my damn math text book at their head and try to knock some sense into them.
My gosh, and then the day of the exam is even worse. I honestly think I could've just spazzed out on everyone. Most of my science class was hanging outside the science room waiting for the teacher to let us in to tell us the rules about the exam and other shit. Well holy shit, every single mother fuckin person in my class was stressing the fuck out over the exam. I swear I heard at least 20 'OMG's' escape every single bitches mouth in that class. It was 'OMG I am like so going to fail' 'OMG I like studied for like 3 like hours last night' (note: say these in an annoying voice. Kind of like Paris Hiltons) 'OMG I am like so going to like pass this exam, I like studied for like forever' 'OMG I didn't even study' I have never heard so many OMG's in my life. It was as if I was in the movie Mean Girls or the movie Bratz. It was just fuckin annoying. Not even my head phones could block out their annoying wails of OMG's. I had my I-Pod jacked all the way up; like my volume couldn't go any louder and I could still hear the bitch standing beside me.
Like there's a point of freaking out over something and then there's the point of just being a piss off. It's as if some people just don't seem to know the difference between the two. Gosh, some people just make me want to grab them by the shoulders, shake them and scream 'quit being such a piss off!' in their face.
So now that we've gone through all of this, now onto my day.
My day started off overall pretty well. I jumped out of bed at 5:00am … well I should say fell out of bed; my alarm scared the crap out of me. I was just laying there having a nice dream about me performing on a stage with the cast of Glee (this was actually a very fucked up dream honestly) and then all of a sudden my phone goes off and all I hear is Lil Jon screaming / rapping 'Get outta your mind! Get outta your mind!' I like flung / leaped out of my bed and smacked onto the floor. That right there is not a very nice way to wake up in the morning. My whole body hurt, it was as if a got hit by a transport truck; so I just laid there listening to Lil Jon scream rap for awhile. That is until I finally decided to get up, turn the light on and stumble to my dresser where my phone was plugged in charging for the night. I don't know why but for some reason my phone decides to just pick a random song to wake me up in the morning, that right there would probably explain why I woke up to Lil Jon's Get out of your mind featuring LMFAO. I had it set to something a little more "decent" to wake up to; Eminem's Cinderella man to me seems a little more pleasant then Lil Jon's scream rapping, that song is more for in the shower. I think I should seriously consider reading that little booklet that came with my phone, that way I don't have to be woken up every morning by some random song every morning, because after my wake up this morning … ya kind of the last straw.
Anyway, after getting ready for the day, I went down stairs and made myself a bagel. Only this time I ate it and then went outside; after my last time trying to eat a bagel and walk outside in winter on ice, I decided I didn't want another recap of that. So after putting on my winter gear and preparing myself to brace the cold, I stepped outside and made my way to the bus stop. I didn't even get half way down my drive way when BAM! I had a near death experience. This mother fuckin icicle decided 'You know what? Imma just drop off the roof right 'bout now!' If I hadn't have slipped on some ice and fell smack dab on my ass I would've had that damn icicle either smash into my head, break and knock me out or go straight into my head like a scene from the movie Final Destination. Winter is just damn dangerous, it's a piss off and it's just hell. If you live in a place where you don't have to experience winter, consider yourself lucky. Don't come to Canada, stay where you are and enjoy your warm climate. So after picking myself up and freaking slightly out, I made my way to the bus stop. I stood there for 15 minutes freezing my ass off. When I finally got on the bus, it was packed. There were no free seats to myself, I ended up sitting next to some weird kid that kept looking over at me and then fidgeting. When we finally got to the bus terminal and some people got off I quickly moved and found a nice seat at the back by myself (first mistake). When the bus started driving again and I was finally on my way to school, I realized this nerdy ginger kid kept looking over at me every 5 minutes, so I gave him the 'Can I help you with something?' look. Then this song came on the radio and this nerdy ginger kid stared at me the whole song, I think he was trying to send me like some kind of telepathic message because here is just a little snip it of some of the lyrics: 'I want to kiss you on the mouth, I don't want it to be a kiss goodnight, I just want to spend the night with you'. This creeped me the fuck out. I was extremely happy when my stop finally came up, I have never been so happy to be at school in my entire life. I'm glad that creepy ginger nerd kid didn't get off the bus too. The bus smelled like a mixture of ass, feet and barf. Not a very pleasant smell, so a high school full of people that smell like whore houses sure was a step up on the smell scale.
Not even 2 seconds after I get to my locker and open it, I have my one friend run up to me and basically talk my ear off. The whole time I'm getting my coat off and shoving a pencil in my back pocket all I hear is 'OMG I am so stressed about the science exam today! I studied for like 3 hours last night; I hope I pass but if I don't I'll just take it grade 12 year or like just come back for grade 13 or something. I'm defiantly not going to summer school though, because that's for losers' Then while walking to the science room I hear … 'I really don't understand this stuff though. I wonder if Niall (yes she's talking about Niall Horan from One Direction) ever had problems in science class? Well he's really smart and he liked science class a lot so he most likely didn't have problems' That right there is one of those moments where I wish I had a desk so I could slam my face on it and hopefully knock myself out. Then standing outside the class room stood all the rest of the annoying bitches. I should've done what all the guys do in that class, walk around the school until the last moment and then get to class before you're considered late.
Well you know the rest, as I already recalled before. I stood out there herd like a bazillion OMG's, shoved my headphones in and still heard the racket. I have never been so pleased to see my science teacher until this day; when she opened the door letting us in, she showed up where we were suppose to sit for the exam. I got stuck sitting with the dumb blonde bitch in front of me and sitting right behind me the knuckle cracker. I got my exam done in like an hour which was a bonus because I had only a half hour before I could leave. So I sat there staring at the clock saying 'Come on! Hurry up!' in my head. After we were done the exam we were allowed to take out our music playing devices which was a plus for me because I could sit there and listen to music instead of just sitting there like a retard. So before we were given the right to bring out our music devices, the teacher clearly said to keep our music to a low level. I'm guessing the dumb blonde bitch didn't understand what that meant because all I heard was Justin Bieber singing (More like wailing) 'As long as you love me, we could be starving, we could be homeless' instead of Skylar Grey's song C'mon let me ride featuring Eminem. Yeah, not the greatest half hour I've spent. So I decided to just forget listening to my music and just try and tune into someone else's music. So I strained my ears trying to find myself something half decent; All there was to chose from was One Direction, Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift's We are never getting back together and Katy Perry's I kissed a girl. Yeah, not much to chose from. I sat there hoping that time would fly by faster; either that or that one of the guys in my class would hurry up and finish the test because I'm pretty sure that whatever they listen to is better than anything the girls in my class were.
When that half hour left was finally up, I basically ran out of that classroom, bolted it down the hall, grabbed my things from my locker and got the hell out of school. I decided to wait up at the front of the school for my friend though, mainly because she'd be pissed if I didn't. Walking to the bus stop with her was the second mistake of the day; all she did was talk and talk. But hey, least she didn't expect me to answer or talk.
Getting home and walking through that door was such a great feeling. I didn't even care that the stupid cat was sleeping on my black sweater that I just washed and got white cat hair all over it. I was just happy to be home and able to go back to bed. I slept for a good three hours, then I decided to give the cat shit for sleeping on my sweater, wash the sweater, and then write this all out.
Main point of this is, exams are fuckin piss offs and cause people to be fucking annoying and a total piss off; and that yet again I have had quite a piss off of a day.
Thanks goes out to GetInMyBackseat69 (Your "pen name" disturbs me deeply) for giving me the idea of writing about high school exams! The next chapter I believe is going to be on cats, like this one was suppose to be. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, it was way longer then all the other chapters I've wrote. Mainly because I had an exam today and I don't know, kind of felt like typing out a lot I guess.
Freaks and Geeks,