|The Funny Thing Is
Author: MelzDayDreamer19 PM
Just random thoughts and feelings about random things that may or may not happen to you. Basically just my thoughts on things and stories about things that have happened to me.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 44,453 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 04-02-13 - Published: 11-16-12 - id: 3074917
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Public Transportation, most commonly known as the city bus. If you don't know what a city bus is (you probably live under a rock) or have never ridden on one (be truly grateful that you haven't) I am going to explain to you what the fuck it is. The city bus is a nasty ass bus that people ride to get to where they need to go because they don't own a car or have no other way of getting around.
Let me start off by saying that I HATE riding the city bus. It is just a nasty closed in box on wheels. It's just totally nasty like I would be surprised if they even cleaned inside that thing because half of the time it is just filthy and fucking disgusting; like somebody call the health inspector or better yet somebody with OCD to clean the damn bus.
The worst part for me is when I'm sitting on the bus alone and some random ass person decides to sit beside me. Especially when an overweight person sits beside me and the person should really just take two seats for themselves instead of trying to squeeze into one. I don't have a problem with overweight people but I do have a problem when their "flub" (I thought flub would be a nicer word for fat) is all rubbing and jiggling all up on me. Like that's just nasty, keep your skin and body items to yourself; I don't really want them all up on me, I'm good.
Another reason as to why I hate taking the city bus is because there are damn pedophiles on that thing and bitch I can prove that shit! One morning last year I decided to take the city bus to school because at the time it was my regular way of getting to school. Well when I got on and put my money in the jar thing I realized that that the only empty seat that was available that I didn't have to sit beside anyone was the second row from the back in front of this old man. So I sat down in the seat and made myself comfortable (meaning I slouched down in the seat and sat there like a hoodlum). When we were maybe two blocks or so away from my school I decided to sit up straight like a proper young lady, when all of a sudden the old man behind me trails his hand ever so gently from my right shoulder all the way down to where the clasps for my bra is. I quickly turned around stunned and just totally disturbed to look and so if it really was the old man that just did that. Sure enough it was, he was looking right at me when I turned around with an expression that I guess was suppose to be seductive (it wasn't, it was just creepy as fuck) and he winked at me. Then next thing I did was just a regular reaction on my part. I screamed 'OHHHH HELL NO!' (Like a black woman), pulled the bell thing and got...Well ran the fuck out and off that bus. I then walked the rest of the way to school because I sure as fuck wasn't staying on that bus with that creepy ass sitting behind me, fuck that! I didn't ride that bus for the rest of the year...
I also don't enjoy sitting down on one of the seat and then accidently realizing that some nasty mofo put their chewed up nasty gum under the arm rest. Like bitch could you not wait to get off the bus and spit it on the ground? I don't want to feel you nasty still wet chewed up gum. You dirty little hamster...
I hate waiting for the bus too. I don't like standing around, well I don't really stand around I kind of like tap my foot of like kind of jump up and down because I have a problem with sitting or standing still for a long period of time. I especially hate waiting for the bus when it's freaking freezing outside (Canadian weather, got to love it...not) or like a blizzard outside and you're just standing there freezing your ass off like a dumbass while people in their cars go by thinking 'Why is that bitch standing there at the corner for? Is she a hooker?' It's even better when it's foggy out in the morning and you can't see worth shit, you can see like maybe a meter in front of you at the most. It's even worse for me because I'm suppose to wear glasses (but don't, even though I'm suppose to) and I can hardly see anything at all. So I basically just stand there at the bus stop waiting for the bus to come in the fog all alone just letting my mind run wild with thought like, 'You know there might be a pedo just waiting out there ready to pounce...that old man might be out there, you know the guy from the bus that touched you?'
So basically city buses are just nasty buses filled with a bunch of creeps and freaks, me being one of the freaks but hey that's not the point. The point is, never ever under any circumstances ride on a city bus, not even if some dude has a gun pointed to your head. Don't go on it, just don't...it's a nasty place my friend...Worse than watching some fat dude run along the beach in the summer time with no shirt on with his man boobs just a flopping around in the wind.