|The Funny Thing Is
Author: MelzDayDreamer19 PM
Just random thoughts and feelings about random things that may or may not happen to you. Basically just my thoughts on things and stories about things that have happened to me.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 44,453 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 04-02-13 - Published: 11-16-12 - id: 3074917
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Halloween...Does it bring up any good memories? For me it would probably be a mix of a yes and no. The only time this "Holiday" (well it's not really a holiday considering we don't get a day off work or school) was actually enjoyable for me was when I was younger now it's just a total piss off. I enjoyed getting all dressed up in a costume, and then walking up to a stranger's door and then having them give me candy that could possibly kill me. Didn't you just enjoy that? I did, that is until I turned 12 and my mother had the talk with me. No not that "talk", I'm talking about the talk where your mother sits you down a week before Halloween and tells you (more like yells) 'You're not going trick or treating this year! You're too old!' Then as you know your parents give you the shitty second best thing of handing out candy to all the other lucky children who get to go out and trick or treat.
The worst Halloween moment for me would probably be when I was 6 and my dad decided to take me out trick or treating (bad idea right there). So anyway, he fought with my mother in deciding who was going to take me out trick or treating and who was going to be watching my sick 2 year old sister for the night plus hand out candy. I'm guessing my mom gave into letting him take me out when he said 'You really trust me to be home alone with our 2 year old daughter plus handing out candy to trick or treaters?! You don't even trust me to open a can with the can opener!' So she gave in and my dad take me out around the neighbor hood, of course before we left my mother had to take like a million damn photos of me dressed in my costume. I was a lady bug, for some reason my mother thought it would be cute to dress me up as one. After that my and I left the house and started around the neighbor hood. We got to maybe 2 blocks away from where we lived when I lost my dad (I highly doubt he lost me because I was the only kid around that was dressed up as a damn lady bug). I wasn't that scared that I couldn't find my dad, after having him leave me at Wal-Mart for 3 hours when I was 4 all alone, so I wasn't at all surprised. I decided to just walk myself home instead of looking for my dad because I had no idea where the hell he was and I sure as heck wasn't dragging a heavy plastic pumpkin around with candy in it. As I was walking home and I was just down the street from my house, some group of teenage boys walked up to me. Being 6 at the time I was scared shit less. Like who wouldn't? I was like not even half the size of these boys. The one boy in the group that just so happened to be a ginger grabbed my pumpkin out of my hands and started laughing. So I did what every little girl does when they want something, I cried and screamed for them to give it back. One boy in the group that looked very out of place, he had glasses and looked extremely nerdy next to the other boys that looked like hoodlums (they were), he told them 'Just give the little girl her candy, she's crying' Well the big ass wipe that took my candy didn't give it the fuck back instead he just pushed me to the ground and said I looked stupid. Well then I got totally pissed off and I then did something that I'm guessing they never were expecting. I got up, looked the boy that had my candy straight in the eyes, gave him a sweet little good girl smile, kicked him where it counts, grabbed my candy out of his hands and then ran the fuck home. When I got home my mother sure enough was handing out candy and smiling like she was having a great 'ol time handing out candy (highly doubt she was). But when she saw me walking up the drive way however her hole face went from happy and joyful to scary and pissed off. I remember standing there outside the door having my mother lecture me on walking home in the dark alone and a bunch of other shit but I kind of zoned out after awhile because I lost interest. She was acting as if it was my fault that I lost my dad; I my defense it was really more her fault that I lost him. She was the dumb fuck who let him take me out trick or treating. Well anyway... About an hour or so later he finally comes casually strolling through the door and of course my mother's the first one to "greet" him. If I thought she was mad at me boy was she madder at him. She started screaming like a million things at him all at once like 'Where were you?' 'Why did you leave her alone?' 'What was going through your mind when you did this?' and like he does every single time my mom asks him a million questions at once he always replies with 'I don't know'. Obviously my mother wasn't going to take 'I don't know' as an answer this time. I don't know about anyone else but when I'm sleeping or "trying" to sleep I really don't enjoy hearing people fight or yell or scream with each other.
Soooo...As you can clearly see..Well read that is, Halloween was quite an adventurous night most of the time for me.
The one thing I never really understood about getting older and not going out for Halloween is the part when your parents decided to bestow the honor of handing out the candy to you. Like ummm excuse me, but I do have better things to do then hand out candy to little children.
Like this year my mother decided to make me hand out candy to the little children. So not thinking (Dumbass move there) I accepted, not knowing that my mother was going to stick me in the breeze way of our house and make me hand out candy there. If you don't know what a breeze way is I'll tell you; a breeze way is a little room that you have to walk through to get to the front door of a home (mostly old houses), this little room is un insulated which in cold weather makes it cold as fuck. Anyway...moving on now. So while my mother took my little sister out trick or treating I froze my ass off sitting in the breeze way handing out candy to the little kids. Now I know what you might be thinking, what the hell didn't you just wait till the knocked on the front door and handed out candy that way instead of sitting out in the freezing cold? Well you smart ass that would be because my mother was afraid the cats would get outside and run away. The funny thing about that is, it was pouring rain outside. I have to give a round of applause to my sister though, she went out in that rain and collected 3 whole pillow cases full of candy, and only got the flu and one serious tummy ache. Well after maybe 10 mins of sitting out in the cold I quick locked the breeze way door (I didn't want those lil' bitches stealing no candy), turned out the outdoor light (to make them think no one was home) and went up stairs to find warmer clothes. After gearing myself, I sat myself back down in the breeze way wearing fuzzy PJ pants with 2 pairs of sweat pants over top, a long sleeve shirt with a hoodie and winter coat plus 3 pairs of fuzzy socks and a base ball cap on my head. Yes it was really necessary for me to wear all this; If you've ever been to Canada or have heard about Canada you'll know good enough that all of this just so happens to be necessary in order to keep warm. Anyways...I'm guessing I scared away most of the little children because after my change in clothing not many little children showed up to the doorway. So after waiting about an hour, I called it a night and dumped the rest of the candy in the dish in the last kid's pillow case. I then spent the rest of my night watching Criminal Minds wondering where my sister and mother was considering it was getting close to 11:00pm. When my mother and sister finally stumbled through the door it was close to 12:00pm; if my mother didn't look pissed before boy did she look ever mad now. And of course after taking her stuff off and drying off because she was soaking wet and cold because it was raining she sat down and told me all about her night. I wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying, I was far too busy watching Criminal Minds to really give a shit about what she was saying; Like who could pay attention to someone complaining when there's someone getting brutally murdered on the TV?! All I got from that conversation was blah blah blah cold blah blah blah why did it have to rain for? blah blah blah your sister blah blah blah are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?! blah blah blah blah blah blah your so much like your father it's disturbing blah blah blah. I was gladly saved when my little sister came stomping down the stairs in her PJ's and handed my mother her Christmas list. Damn does that kid work fast, eh!?
Well guess Halloween wasn't that bad of a holiday for me really. I always had quite an adventure when I was little, and sitting in the breeze way freezing my ass off wasn't all that bad...never mind, who am I trying to kid, sitting in there was a living hell and as long as I live I shall never ever do that again. Well that is until my mother makes me...
Guess you get what you give, right? Well I don't tend to give much, even a smile to a stranger seem to cause too much of an effort so, guess I'm not getting much, eh!?