Thomspon gun 2: the musical

written by Max Puerner.

musical type: Satrical martial arts/ action, /satrical musical

(Optional opening if footage is available, but can easily be refilmed.)

The screen is dark as the song "Piano man" starts to play. the screen is dark as the introductory credits roll. Then the screen shows Mr Thompson in his office singing the song. after a bit the scene changes to an old man watching this happen on a TV screen. Then The scene finishes up in Thompson's office. After the song, Brent is sent into the room.

Mr Thompson: Well well well, Brent. Kicked out of class again?"

Brent: We all go a little mad sometimes, haven't you?

Mr Thompson: Well no, can't say I haven't.

(Brent looks over at sissors in a mug and has a flash back of what happened last time.)

Mr Thompson: Brent, take a seat.

(Brent has an angered look on his face and quickly runs over and grabs the sissors as Thompson grabs a near by katana. They duel again for awhile, then Thompson does the same move he did in the first one and Brent is defeated once again.)

Mr Thompson: Brent, your behavior is too extreme. I am going to call the schools behavior specialists.

(Thompson calls a number and appears to have a conversation. he hangs up.)

Mr Thompson: They'll be here right away.

The next shot is a couple of doctor looking people coming in. Two girls and one guy.

Dr Cosmo: Hello there Brent, I am Dr Cosmo McKinley, and this is my sister Nation. And this is Nurse Ansalong she'll be assisting us.

Brent: I'm not getting up.

(They forcefully sit Brent down on one of the seats at the table.)

(Song: Shock treatment)

Cosmo McKinley:

I'm not a loco with motive to suture myself

I've been a cynic for too many years

Playing doctor and nurse, it can be good for your health

I've seen clinics with those gimmicks in Tangiers

(They hook up brent with wires.)

Nation McKinley:

But if you open your heart to a smooth operator

He'll take you for all that you've got

He'll hand you a curse that'll be with you later

It'll shake you the way he takes off... like a shot

Cosmo McKinley:

You need a bit of

(They appear to eletricute Brent)

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

Gets you jumping like a real live wire

Need a bit of

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor

For a vista that'll mystify ya

(Ansalong gets on and poses on the table.)

Nurse Ansalong:

You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science

You're condition is critically grave

But don't expect mercy from such an alliance

Suspicion of traditions so new wave

Cosmo McKinley:

You need a bit of

(They shock him)

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

Gets you jumping like a real live wire

Need a bit of

(They shock him.)

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor

For a sister that'll certify ya, fy ya, fy ya

Cosmo McKinley:

You need a bit of

(They shock him.)

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

Gets you jumping like a real live wire

You need a bit of

(they shock him)

Chorus:

Ooooh...Shock Treatment

Cosmo McKinley:

So look out Mister, don't you blow your last resistor

For a sister that'll certify ya, fy ya, fy ya, fy ya!

The doctors lead Brent out of the room as the song ends. Then, Max walks in after they leave.

Max: Ah, so Brent getting a little treatment, eh Thompson?

Mr Thompson: Yeah that's Brent for ya.

Max: So Thompson, has fox news made any threats?

Mr Thompson: No, I think they fear me. I'm pretty sure it is okay to claim my fame.

Max: I don't think that is a good idea.

Mr Thompson: Why not?

Max: They will be watching you. They have a certain team that will be watching your every move.

Mr Thompson: Who?

(Song: TMZ (Sung in the style of you belong with me.)

Max: You're sort of famous

A minor celebrity

And so it only makes sense

The world would be

Obsessed with every

Single thing you do

They're running 'round

With their camcorders in the night

They're lurking patiently

And hoping that they just might

See something real embarrassing

You do

A bad hair day and sweat-stained T-shirt

That's the story that

They're gonna feature

With exclusive pics

Of your flabby behind

You think you're all alone

But that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi

Popping out of nowhere

Cameras in your face

And then suddenly

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

Following you

When you're walking down the street

And asking stupid questions

While you're trying to eat

So you cover your face

Thinking to yourself

"Hey, isn't this creepy?"

And they're out there praying

You'll have a big meltdown

And take 'em on a little car chase

Through this whole town

They'll be there with you

When you're going to jail

First on the scene

For every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite

Seconds later

It's up on the website

Get a vegas wedding

A quickie divorce

And they'll be

Sneaking in

Snapping pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you

Picking your nose or

Storming down the street

On a drunken spree

You're on TMZ

Stalking you, just waiting by your front door

Trailing you through

Airport security

They're with TMZ

They're with TMZ

[We caught this oscar nominee picking up DOG POOP

Is that a baby bum?

I pronounce her guilty, of leaving the house while FAT

Look who's drinking COFFEE,

Everything celebrities do is FASCINATING]

Oh, let me tell you

It's getting to the point

Where a famous person can't

Even get a D.U.I

Or go on a racist rant

Those guys are all around

So you really shouldn't dare

Go to every club in town

If you've flaunt your underwear

Seems that every single time

A star decides to shave their head

Or ram their car into a tree

They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes

Later on, that night

Well, I guarantee

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

Every single celebrity

Knows they're gonna be

They're on TMZ

Mr Thompson: Huh, I never considered that.

Max: yeah, so just be careful.

(The scene changes to later that lunch, Thompson appears to be walking to his car, when he sees three thugs. They are holding Katanas.)

Mr Thompson: Can I help you gentlemen?

Man: Heh heh heh heh heh, you bastard. The only thing you can do for me, is die. You killed our master, Glenn Beck. And now you must pay.

(Two of guys run after him, and Thompson kicks one of the swords out of one of the guy's hands. He takes it and stabs the one guy. He then quickly slices the other guy across the throat. The third guy comes at him and they duel. After a bit of sword play, Thompson slashes him several time, and finishes him off.)

(The next shot is of Thompson walking back inside with his lunch. Max and Nick are already inside.)

Mr Thompson: Hey! I just had some run in with Fox news!

Nick: We know.

Mr Thompson: You know?

Nick: yeah it's on TMZ. Didn't Max sing you the song explaining the situation?

Max: I did.

Mr Thompson: Oy vey! This is terrible! Who else could come after me bigger than Glenn Beck?"

Nick: Think Mr Thompson, who in the world is more porwerful than Glenn Beck.

(They all look as if they are thinking it over.)

Everyone: Rupert Murdoch!

Mr Thompson: Do I have to be worried about this guy?

Max: I say, yes! He his quite the foe. He is Glenn Beck's master! Plus he is the supreme leader of the terrorist orginization, Fox News.

Mr Thompson: Oy vey!

Nick: Oy vey is right! You have to take heed Thompson. Rupert Murdoch isn't like other fox news members. There is something really odd about this guy.

Mr Thompson: *Sigh* I hope Brent is having a better day than I'm having.

(The scene changes to another room, where Brent is being tortured by the doctors weilding electirc batons.)

(Song 3 Sword of damocles.)

Brent: The sword of Damocles is hangin', over my head. And I got a feeling that somebody's cuttin' the thread.

Oh, woe is me. My life is a misery, oh, can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

I woke up this mornin' with a start when I fell out of bed.

Doctors: That ain't no crime!

Brent: And left from my dream was a feeling of unnameable dread.

Doctors: That ain't no crime!

Brent: Oh, my high is low, I'm dressed up with no place to go, oh, all I know, is I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Doctors: Sha la la la that ain't no crime (X several times)

Cosmo: (Jokingly) Rocky horror you need peace of mind. And I want to tell you you're doing just fine. You're the product of another time, and feeling down, well that's no crime.

Doctors: That ain't no crime!

Brent: The sword of damocles is hangin', over my head!

Doctors: That ain't no crime!

Brent: And I got a feelin' somebody cuttin the thread!

Doctors: That ain't no crime!

Brent: Oh! Woe is me! My life is a mystery. Ohh can't you see, that I'm at the start of a pretty big downer.

Doctors: Sha la la la la ain't no crime no no (Several times. keep the song going until end.)

Doctors: Sha la la la la ain't criiime, sha la la!