Dear diary,

Today I'm sane.

That is definitely the weirdest thing I've written in a long time. First off I've never kept a diary in my whole life. I don't really like writing but I've got to start keeping track of things. Why, you ask? Well, let me get to my next item of discussion.

The second thing is just the words I'm and sane in the same sentence without the word not between them. I'm hardly ever truly sane in fact I don't know who I am or what is going on about eighty-five percent of the time. But this is one of those rare moments where I know what is going on and understand that there is something wrong with me. These are the times I realize I need professional help. These are also the times I like to sit back in self-pity and wait until tomorrow when I don't know who I am anymore.

But this time is different. I'm actually trying to get better even if it's only by keeping a diary. But as long as I write everything down, when these horrible days of sanity come along I can go back through this and read what I thought was going on every day. Even if it doesn't truly help me it should be entertaining.

Now you may be wondering how I will remember to write every day if I dont know who I am or what is going on. Well when I wake up in the morning I still remember the basics. I know what my name is, I know that I'm supposed to go to school – though I don't always actually go – I know how to read and write. I can understand the English language and in theory I can speak it. I'm selectively mute so I don't get to test out my theory of speaking English though.

So what else should you know about me? Let's see, I'm 14, five foot three, I have blonde hair and blue eyes, I haven't talked since the second week of 6th grade. Oh, and I start high school tomorrow. By the way, I'm still not going to talk in high school.

I would tell you more about myself but there isn't much more to tell you. I can't tell you what I like to do or what kind of music I like because that changes daily.

I don't really know what else to write. So just wish me luck tomorrow at high school.

Savvy