Kaden's Notebook- December 1

Entry #54

Her eyes gleam in the light

Her eyes shine in the dark

A green and blue array of colors so bright

Her skin so soft

Her smile so contagious

Her scent takes me aloft

Her voice, in and of itself, a symphony

Leaving me in awe

She's changing me, I have a new epiphany

"What color do you guys want to paint your nails?" Daisy asked, as we huddled on the sofa, now fully prepared for our movie night. I had invited the girls over for a sleepover, just to have some girl time and talk. I had really been craving this and was really excited the girls were able to come out. "I want to use this gray color." Rin answered, showing Daisy. Who smiled, and gave a nod of approval, taking her right hand. And I chose a teal color, passing it over to Daisy before going to my massive collection of movies. "Guys I have a lot films, let's try to narrow it down. What are you in the mood for?" Daisy wanted to watch a good romance and Rin wanted a comedy or action movie, so that didn't help much. "Oh, let's watch, What happens in Vegas, it's a comedy and romance. In other words, a PERFECT compromise." Rin smiled, proud of her choice. I put the movie in the DVD player and picked up the remote controller taking a seat on the recliner. "So what's happening with you and Ryder?" I asked. She smiled, "He is so sweet, Ru. I'm really happy. Like, I was afraid that our friendship would be compromised but it's going perfect." I smiled back, I actually understood. Kaden was making me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. "I'm guessing, Kaden makes you feel the same way." Daisy continued. I looked down, memories flooding my mind in quick succession. I was remembering his touch, his lips on my temple. "Yeah, he's amazing."

"And Ryder-"Daisy began

But Rin interjected, "Guys, can we stop talking about your relationships?" She asked, with a hint exasperation. She tried to sound playful but Daisy and I could tell our conversation was actually affecting her. "You're right Korrine enough about us, let's play the movie now."

The credits rolled, the movie was over but I was still wide awake. I looked over at the sofa where Daisy and Rin lay, they were both fast asleep and Daisy was snoring softly. I turned back around in the recliner trying my best to fall asleep when I heard the door open. So, I got up to get a view of the intruder, making out Ben's slim figure, in the distance as he made his way into our kitchen. I'd sleep later, I thought, following behind him. "Hey." I murmured.

"Hey, I didn't see you there."

"Yeah sorry, we just finished watching a movie but I couldn't fall asleep."

"We?" He asked

"Yeah, Rin and Daisy are over."

"Oh ok."

"Where were you?"

"Out."

"Why so secretive?" I asked, taking a seat on the stool by the Island.

"I was out, what else do you want me to say."

"I don't know, I guess." I said, sighing. I didn't know if I should bring up what was really on mind but after a bit of hesitation , I continued," Corben?"

"Ruth?"

"Do you still get waves of missing mom, like you might crumble? Like the world around you is falling apart, suffocating you, closing you in, and nothing will relieve the pressure…" He looked at me and then sat on the stool by me, searching my face. "Every day," he whispered. I looked at my big brother, really looked at him. His eyes had dark circles around them and they appeared lifeless. How long had he been like this? Intense guilt filled my gut; I hadn't been there for him like he'd always been there for me which saddened me. He motioned for me to come closer so I walked into his open embrace and hugged him tightly. The tears began to stream down my face, running down my cheeks. I started to shake and he just held me tighter. Finally, the tears dried out and I turned back around to sit on the stool. "You ok now?" Ben asked. I could hear the pity in his voice, he felt sorry for me. "Yeah, are you ok?" He nodded but I could see his eyes were brimming with tears. They didn't spill over but I knew he was hurting just as bad as me, maybe even more. But before I could broach the subject further, he said. "So you and Kaden." I immediately blushed, looking down; fidgeting with my fingers. A habit, I needed to abandon. "Yeah." I responded. Looking up to get a glimpse of his reaction.

"Does he treat you right?" He asked, giving me curious look.

"Yeah, I'm still trying to find a fault in him."

"Hmm, he does seem like a pretty nice guy. Are you going to tell dad?"

"No, not unless he notices."

"Fair enough. Well, I'm going to bed." He yawned, giving my arm a light squeeze before making his way up the stairs. "Good night," I called out, making my way back to the family room, taking my place on the recliner, and falling right to sleep.

It was Tuesday night and I was finally finishing up on my homework when my phone chimed. I unlocked the screen and a text from Kaden popped up.

Ru, can you meet me outside your house in 20 minutes?

Sure… I wrote back, closing my English book and throwing my half eaten bag of chips in the pantry, running up the stairs to my room. I wasn't really sure what to think but I couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of excitement that washing over me. After settling with my favorite oversized sweater and fitted jeans, I was ready; sliding on my combat boots and putting in my mother's earrings. I took one last look at myself and grabbed my leather jacket and fringe purse, making my way down the stairs to the foyer. Instead of waiting for him to ring the doorbell, I decided to wait outside; letting the brisk air fill my lungs. However, it wasn't too long before I heard the rumble of his motorcycle coming up the street. So I walked down my steps, making my way toward him. He greeted me with a peck on the cheek and I took my place behind him on the bike. But before he drove away I asked, "Where are we going?" He smiled, "it's a surprise."

We walked into a restaurant, with a stage in the center, and bright white lights everywhere. It had a pretty, romantic look to it and I immediately fell in love with the set up. I was so enveloped in the whole feel that I almost lost Kaden so I ran to catch up with him. In the distance, I could only see his red beanie popping up here and there above the crowd. When I finally reached him, he was strapping on his acoustic guitar. "What are you doing?" I asked, confused. "My uncle owns the restaurant and I'm part of the entertainment."

"Oh, so I'm guessing you've done this before?" I asked, questionably.

"Yes, just sit back and relax. I shouldn't be too long." Before he could leave, I grabbed his wrist and he turned back to face me. I looked into his eyes and step forward; brushing my lips against his before kissing him. After he smiled against my lips and I smiled back. "Good luck," I breathed, inhaling his fresh scent and then he was gone. He was now on the stage and he was singing in perfect harmony; his voice a lullaby. I was thoroughly enjoying his performance but sadly it came to an end; I wanted to hear his voice some more. It was like honey.

"Before I sing this next song, I need to say this. I met this girl." He said, pausing and looking directly at me. "Not too long ago and she has a guarded heart. She has walls up but now I see a slight difference ; there are windows now." He added, smiling before he continued. "She's special to me and I want her to see it. So Ru, this is for you." I was utterly astonished, I didn't realize tears were falling down my face until I felt a drop hit my neck and then he began to sing Beneath your Beautiful by Labrinth feat. Emeli Sande. I sang right along with him

You tell all the boys "No"

Makes you feel good, yeah.

I know you're out of my league

But that won't scare me away, oh, no

You've carried on so long,

You couldn't stop if you tried it.

You've built your wall so high

That no one could climb it,

But I'm gonna try.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl

I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

Then he suddenly stopped, calling me up on stage. He wanted me to sing the second verse. I have no idea how I made it up there without fainting but I did. And when I stood by him he squeezed my hand and I breathed out, making one more attempt to calm my nerves. His captivating smile did the trick though, I calmed in seconds and he gave me the cue, motioning for me to begin singing.

You let all the girls go

Makes you feel good, don't it?

Behind your Broadway show

I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"

You've carried on so long

You couldn't stop if you tried it.

You've built your wall so high

That no one could climb it.

But I'm gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy

I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?

See beneath, see beneath,

I...

Tonight

I...

I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower

I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out

We'll be falling, falling but that's OK

'Cause I'll be right here

I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?

Would you let me see beneath your perfect?

Take it off now, girl, take it off now, girl (take it off now, boy,take it off now, boy)

'Cause I wanna see inside

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, oh, oh, tonight?

See beneath your beautiful, oh, tonight.

We ain't perfect, we ain't perfect, no.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?

Shockingly , the nerves ebbed away as I looked into his eyes. I was singing to him, how I felt, and that was all that mattered. With the last strum of his guitar, he shifted it behind him and put his arms around me, pressing his lips to my forehead and whispering to me how good I was. I knew the crowd was applauding our performance but the roar was low compared to his influx of kind words filling my ears. This beautiful human being, was changing me. I wanted things I didn't bother to think about before. The thought made me smile and I whispered back. "You brought it out of me."

A/N: I hope you like this chapter; let me know how you feel!

Walkingsouth