I wanna chop off my head when the feelings come back

I wanna gouge out my eyes when I look through the crack

My diary from long ago has thoughts that always return

Maybe if I ignored the past I'd let the full pages burn

Maybe the others were right and I'm not really a lost cause

If my problems are what really makes me me, not just flaws

I've thought a long time about what I really wanted

But my mind doesn't care because it was always haunted

Happiness comes from the inside

But the boy who used to want it always seems to hide

The new man only wants the sad old parts

Even if it breaks everyone else's hearts

We loved each other since day one, seven months ago

But when I tried to open up my feelings just wouldn't show

So I handed her the diary from back in the day

With recent entries about the thoughts that came back out to play

She said she doesn't know me like she thought and I'm not the same

I said I guess I don't love her since now it's only a game

She did what everyone else did, and walked away for good

And I can't blame her; if I were in her shoes, I would

Happiness comes from the inside

But the boy who used to want it always seems to hide

The new man only wants the sad old parts

Even if it breaks everyone else's hearts

I sat down depressed, I thought "this is how it goes"

And I hit a new low, and a new feeling arose

Don't let it keep going on, don't let the cycle repeat

I thought I should end it all, I thought my life was complete

Death sounded just fine, death sounded like the best path

But I wanted something else, I wanted an aftermath

I wrote an entry in my diary, I got the feelings off my chest

I loaded my gun, I kissed the book, and then I laid to rest.