When someone can be anyone, how can they be themself?

The old saying rang through Elise's head once again as she walked towards the room in which she was supposed to meet her teammates.

She giggled. 'Teammates'. She hadn't had teammates in so long, thanks to what happened to her last team.

For the last few years, she had gone solo, performing absurdly risky missions by herself, usually assassinations upon targets that were guarded day and night, and coming back home covered in blood, none of which was ever her own. But she had been making a lot of progress, and so Daigaku had seen fit to place her upon a team.

Finally, she came to the door she was looking for, and it was obvious that this door was different. It used a different type of door handle, it had no windows, and it seemed to be much thicker and heavier than the other doors, made of metal rather than wood.

She noticed a nearby window, and by using it as a mirror, she performed a quick check to make sure she looked as great as possible. She wasn't sure if she was feeling excitement or fear, but she knew she had to make a good first impression. She had considered using her shapeshifting abilities to make herself prettier, but she had decided against it. This was the real her, and if it was pretty enough for her, it was pretty enough for everyone else. Although, just in case...

Her red eyes flashed brightly for a split second, and her blonde hair quickly lengthened from her neck to her shoulders as her chest size increased by a few centimetres, and her red T-shirt automatically changed its own size and shape to accommodate them. "Perfect." She said as she smiled and looked at herself in the mirror.

She looked away reluctantly, took a moment to steady her heart rate, and opened the door.

Doctor Professor Marcus Kudzu rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses as the "Zombie torture" minigame he was playing upon his phone was interrupted by a text sent from one of his family members. Rather than ding like a normal phone, the 'Text Recieved' sound effect sounded like the sound of an arm-bone being snapped in half. He saw the words 'URGENT' and 'HEAL' in the text, and deleted it. Just because he was a 'Healer', his family always demanded that he drop whatever he was doing and come rushing over, just because they needed him to heal every self-inflicted papercut they ever got.

The room was dark, with the overhead light turned to a low setting. Marcus lay sprawled out on his leather sofa, the pale glow of his phone illuminating his black sunglasses that he wore despite the darkness.

Alastair, his badass immortal teammate and only friend, was on the floor, doing push-ups. His brown hair was drenched in sweat, and his grey eyes stared ahead lifelessly. He had been there for... Marcus wasn't sure how long, but he had definitely been there a while. His impossibly large black sword, with a blade eight feet long and three feet wide and a handle wrapped tightly in crimson ribbons, lay discarded to the side of him.

The door opened suddenly, and when Marcus looked to see who it was, he saw a girl standing in the doorway. She looked okay, but he'd seen prettier.

Alastair continued his push ups, ignoring the new arrival. Marcus got up, and put his phone away in a shirt pocket of his labcoat. The doctor smiled sardonically, ready to greet the newest member of Team Oblivion.

Elise paused as she looked at the two new members of her team, making sure to see them in enough detail for her to copy later if she needed to.

The guy on the sofa looked hot. Really, really hot. His short black hair was cut short above his eyebrows, and his eyes were obscured by large black sunglasses. He wore loose black sweatpants, a very long white labcoat with huge sleeves, and no shirt. She could see his muscular chest, and it looked good. But even then, he wasn't as muscular as the guy on the floor doing push-ups.

He was strong, large, and powerful. He stood up, drawing himself up to his full height. He had curly brown hair drenched with sweat, a powerful square jaw and cold grey eyes that stared ahead blankly. His muscles were huge, he wore a grey hooded jacket and black leather trousers, and he had a certain stillness to him. He moved very little, as if he was some kind of sexy manly statue, one that could stay still for years and years, perhaps even entire millennia, and watch in silence as the people around him withered and died, and the building crumbled to the ground with him inside of it, and time and space and existence itself came to an end.

The guy in the labcoat noticed her presence, and stood up. He smiled sardonically, which she thought was cute, but then he started speaking. "Hello, and welcome to Team Oblivion." He said in mild amusement. "Either you drew the short straw, or you've done something that really messed up the Secretary's day, and this is your punishment. Or perhaps, everyone else is already in a team, and you were the only one left? In any case, my name is Doctor Professor Marcus Kudzu, and you shall refer to me by both titles every time you talk to me, and every time you talk about me. The other man on my team, and yes, it is my team, is named Alastair. Just Alastair. He has no parents, because he killed them. He is immortal, and he has a huge sword. I am a medic, but if you do something stupid, don't count on me healing you. I am not your personal First-Aid kit, and if you treat me as such, I shall remove your head and sew it on backwards. Do you understand me? Or must I repeat it, slowly?"

"I... I understand." Elise said nervously, backing up. The metal door behind her suddenly slammed shut, trapping her inside.

"Do you? Do you really?" Doctor Professor Marcus asked. "Because I've heard that before. Oh, how I've heard that before. Everybody seems to think that just because I can heal people's injuries, I have enough magic to heal every papercut on every idiot in the omniverse! And you know what? I don't. So try not to die, 'Kay?"

"O-Okay." Elise said quietly. This first meeting wasn't going well, and she couldn't understand why. Was she not pretty enough? Was she not cute enough? She decided that cuteness must have been the issue, and quickly turned into a tiny and adorable kitten.

"You're a Shapeshifter? Or Changeling? Or... whatever you people are called?" Doctor Professor Marcus asked. He knew there was some sort of difference between the two, but due to how rare they were, he didn't care enough to read up on them.

"I'm a changeling." Elise admitted. She closed her eyes, and began mewing adorably.

"Meh, I've seen cuter." Doctor Professor Marcus said noncommittally, and suddenly he kicked the kitten into a wall. Elise mewled in horror, got up, and turned into an even more adorable puppy, and gave him the best puppy-dog eyes she could manage.

"Seriously? Is that the best you can do?" He sneered.

Elise decided that the reason this wasn't working was because she wasn't cute enough, and decided to become a cute kitten and a cute puppy at the same time, literally becoming half-kitten and half-puppy. It was as if there was a line somebody had drawn in the middle of her body with a ruler, and the left half was a kitten, while the right half was a puppy.

"That is... creepy. But I've seen better."

Elise gave up unhappily, and turned back into herself. Or at least, she was pretty sure that this was herself. She had made so many changes to her appearance over her career that she couldn't even remember what she looked like, before the Daigaku agents rescued her. At least, she was pretty sure they rescued her.

"Now... Elise, was it?" Markus asked, not caring at all. "That's a nice name, but I doubt I'll care enough to remember it. Now just wait there, I'm sure that Daigaku will have something for us soon."

"Aren't we supposed to go and get the missions ourselves?" She asked in confusion.

"Most teams do that, but not us. I'm the only medic in the whole place, so whenever they need one, they get me to do it. It's usually something stupid, like go to some warzone, and heal everyone who stupided themselves to death, so they can get back up, run out there, and get blown up into even smaller pieces." He sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder why I was cursed with these powers."

"Wait... How is being able to cure the sick and save lives a curse?"

"Give it time." He muttered as he fell back onto the sofa, staring at the ceiling sadly. "You'll see. Juuust giiive it tiiime."

Elise looked around nervously. This... 'Doctor Professor' didn't seem to like her very much, so therefore, he was a jerk. Perhaps she's have more luck with the other one? She walked over to the large man named Alastair, and smiled sweetly. She'd practiced that expression in the mirror a lot, and nobody could ever resist it.

Alastair stared ahead blankly, refusing to even acknowledge her presence. He resisted her look, which offended her slightly, but she tried to keep it hidden, for now.

"Hello?" Elise asked quietly. "Alastair?"

"Hm?" He grunted questioningly.

"I'm new here, and I thought I should get to know you better! We're going to be together, fighting, while our medic stays back and-"

Marcus immediately burst into laughter. "Ohhohho, no. Nonono, no, you did NOT just say that!" He yelled mockingly, and facepalmed. "Have you even MET me? Have you SEEN me fight? No, you're just stereotyping me, because of what I do. You're a girl, and you don't see me instantly assuming that you're only going to be good for snogging guards and distracting enemies by being naked, now, do I? Of course not! Wait, you are a girl, right? I just thought I should check, because Changelings like to pretend to be the opposite gender, just to screw with people." He paused, and laughed nastily. "And THAT is what I'd sound like, if I was as horrible as you. So tell you what, why don't you go back to... somewhere, I don't care where. Has Changeling-Land Attempt Number Four finished rebuilding yet? Nevermind, I just don't care. Just... don't assume I'm not going to be a front-line fighter. Got it?"

"G-Got it." Elise mumbled sadly. This was going terribly. When she heard she'd be on a team, she didn't expect to be teamed up with such a jerk! She left the room sadly, deciding to try to talk to the swordsman once that heartless jerk of a doctor wasn't with him. The door had closed itself automatically, but it was unlocked.

"Oh, James!" Stephanie cried as she rested the side of her head on James's shoulder, with the aid of her teammates, who were lying on the floor in a pile, Stephanie on the bottom and Cathy above her, with Stephanie standing atop the pile, almost as if they were nothing more than footstools. The four were standing in a beautiful green grassy meadow, with a clear blue sky and the sun obscured by a small patch of clouds. "You make me so happy!" She said happily.

A gust of wind blew James's hair as his electricity crackled around him and formed beautiful sparks that gave his body a beautiful, sparkly glow. He opened his mouth, and with his accent turned far beyond eleven, to the point where it didn't even resemble any accent from any country and was barely recognisable at all, he sadly said, "Yohh Teeeyaaaahsss ahh steeEEEeyyyyning myyy suit!"

"Oh, James, you care more about your suit than you care about me! According to that awesome romance book series, that's so romantic!" Stephanie yelled happily. "The only thing that could make this even better is if you were a vampire, and a werewolf!"

"Vhat Meks you so sure I'm nuut?" James asked as fangs emerged from his mouth and brown fur appeared on his tie and the shoulders of his suit, his accent changing to a vampire accent, and then changing back as he happily said, "Daaaaaahhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrlii iiiiiing!", drawing out the word for eighteen seconds.

"Stephanie, wake up." Cathy hissed.

"Be quiet, footstools don't talk." Stephanie hissed angrily as she stamped her foot onto Cathy's back.

"Mfmfmf mfmf fmm?" Sarah asked.

"Great idea!" Cathy said as she grinned, and stayed grinning as the two lovers looked each other in the eye.

James crouched down slightly so that he and Stephanie's eyes could meet, and their two heads moved closer together slowly, dragging it out on purpose, the torturous anticipation sending beads of sweat down Stephanie's face. Their lips were just inches away from each other, when suddenly, a huge tidal wave washed in through the meadow, crashing down upon the lovebird, the badass, and the lovebird's footstools. The electricity that James was made of dissipated in the deluge, and Stephanie, Cathy and Sarah were swept away in the tide.

Stephanie awoke from her dream, instantly sitting bolt upright as she screamed. She and Cathy were sitting on their three-person-sized bed, the one they had requested when they heard they were going to be on the same team together. Cathy grinned, and haphazardly tossed the empty bucket she was holding over her shoulder. They couldn't see it, but from the sound of the loud crash, it sounded like it broke their window. Sarah was in her racer's outfit, wearing her helmet, leaning against the wall and trying to look cool.

"You BRUTE!" Stephanie cried, and slapped Cathy in the face.

Cyborgs didn't feel pain, Catgirls were more resilient than humans, and Stephanie wasn't exactly the strongest one on her team anyway, so the weak slap only served to make Cathy burst into laughter as she fell back onto the bed, her ears twitching erratically. "Nya, hahahahahaha!" She laughed.

Stephanie looked down, and saw that she was completely soaked. Obviously, Cathy had poured a bucket of water onto her, to wake her up. "Hang on..." She muttered as she sniffed delicately. Her pupils shrank in shock. "THIS ISN'T WATER!"

"You don't say!" Cathy said in amusement. "Guess what it is! Go ahead, guess!"

Stephanie shot out her hand, and grabbed Cathy's tail. She stroked it slowly, and Cathy's ears pricked up as she fell back onto her bed limply. "No..." Cathy said weakly. "Please... don't..."

"Oh, for something like that?" Stephanie said in cruel amusement. She leaned over to Cahty's ears, and whispered into them. "I must."

"Nyaa-a-a..." Cathy nyad reluctantly, a blush lighting up her face.

Sarah rolled her eyes, not that anyone could see them, and left the room. She had seen this happen enough times, and it always went the same way. And it would go on, and on, and on. And every time she asked if she could join in, they'd always tell her that she could only join in if she removed her helmet, and burned the two of them to a crisp accidentally as soon as they saw her face. They refused to let her join in with her helmet on, no matter how much the human side of her wanted it.

She wandered sadly through the hallways, turned a corner, and bumped into somebody. She fell back, but instantly landed on her hands, and used them to flip up, and land on her feet a few feet away from whoever she'd bumped into. She wasn't that strong, but the bones of a seraph were more hollow and fragile than any bird's skeleton, and she could easily flip herself around when she needed to. She looked at the person she had bumped into, and saw that it was...

Elise? The poor Changeling looked like she was in tears. Then again, Changelings could fake any emotion convincingly. Which they had to do, because if the books were to be believed, then Changelings didn't feel true emotions, only shallow ones like greed, lust, and hoarding-osity. Hoarder-ness? Whatever it was called when someone needs to hoard things.

"Mff mf mffmff?" Sarah asked, her helmet muffling her voice. She put a hand on Elise's shoulder, and tilted her head questioningly.

"My teammates are such jerks!"

"Uh huh."

"I've got this Medic, and he HATES me!"

"Uh huh."

"But he's hot! How can a hot person be such a jerk?"

Sarah's right hand hit the black-tinted glass of her driver's helmet, and she walked off. Stupid, shallow Changeling. Was she the only girl here who-

"...aaaaaab, wabwabwabwubwubwub, bwuuuuuuub! Wabwabwabwobwobwob wuuuub!"

What was that infernal racket?! And why was it getting closer?

Something collided into her back, knocking them both over. Seraph glowed with a fierce white light as she levitated herself back onto her feet. She looked behind her, and saw... What's-Her-Name, the Siren that liked weird music.

"Hi." She said, which came out as "Mff.".

"Hi, Sarah." Weird-Music-Girl said happily, rolling onto her back and then jumping up to her feet and into a fighter's stance. She put her arms down, adjusted the huge headphones on her head, and smiled. "You didn't break anything, so I'll let you live." She said that in an eerily cheerful way, and to anyone who had not heard of a Siren, or seen that one documentary where a Siren blew up someone's head just by singing, they would think she was joking.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The siren asked as she walked over to the sad Changeling and put her hand on her shoulder.

"My teammate is such a jerk! He's a medic, and he's hot, but he's a total jerk!" Elise wailed, and then she grabbed the siren's arm with both hands to hold it in place, and rested her head on it as she started to cry. She then stopped suddenly, realising something. "Who are you, anyway?"

Jess smiled as she got an opportunity to talk about her favourite subject – Herself. "My name's Jess. I'm a Siren, and I can blow up people's heads just by singing. I like rock, metal and dubstep, the louder, the better! I hate the sound of old music, I hate old people who hate new music because it's not the music they listened to when they were kids and they still had their ears, and I hate noodles. I'm going to be on a team with Leo, and some new girl."

Sarah briefly wondered if she memorised that introduction, and how long it took to come up with it. It was certainly better than her team's introduction, in any case.

Elise instantly stopped crying and snapped her head up. "Leo? That hot guy with the multicolored hair?"

"Yeah, you've heard of him?" Jess said, and then remembered what had just happened. "Wait, who are you?"

"My name is Elise, I'm a Changeling, and I like pretty things, shiny things, and cute things. I'm on a team with a jerk, and a swordsman."

"Mmff?" Sarah suggested.

"No, the other swordsman."

"Max?" Jess wondered.

"No, the hot quiet one, with the huge sword."

"Oh, that one!" Jess said happily, but her smile quickly faded. "I don't know him." She cheered up again, a new idea coming to her. "But hey, I heard there'll be another girl on my team, so hopefully, she'll be one of those angry ones that hit their boyfriends. I hope she is, because I really don't like hurting people. Blowing their heads up with the power of rock, sure, but I don't like hurting then."

Sarah tilted her helmeted head sideways as she struggled to comprehend the bizarre set of morals the Siren owned.

"I like music." Elise said happily.

Jess raised an eyebrow. "What kind?" She asked suspiciously.

"...The good kind?" Elise attempted lamely.

"Awesome, me too!" Jess said as she walked off and Elise went with her. Jess started laughing, so Elise laughed as well, even though she didn't see what was so funny. The two went along, leaving Sarah behind.

She sat down in the hallway, and sighed unhappily. She was alone, as usual.

Harry downed another carton of coffee, and threw the empty paper cup away, where it hit the wall of his dorm room, the plastic top falling off the paper cup. They fell slowly, and seemed to hit the floor in slow-motion.

"They should be here, why aren't they here, they should be here..." He chanted to himself in panic, his right eye twitching.

Harry breathed deeply, and forced his body to store its caffeine for later use, in case of an emergency.

"They should be here." He said calmly, looking around again for the fourth time that hour.

"Sorry I'm late." A girl said in a Queen's English accent as she walked through the door.

Aw crap. Harry thought worriedly, his pupils shrinking in terror. This girl's accent sounds just like that blonde suit-guy that had dodged my explosions and kicked my ass! He DODGED MY FRIKIN' EXPLOSIONS WITH FANCY FLIPS, HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! If this chick is his sister or something, I'm doomed.

The girl walked in, and- holy crap, she's hot.

She was wearing black leather boots with white lace, her legs were long, thin and uncovered. She wore an impossibly tiny, short and tight pair of white jeans with a black leather belt around them, and a white metal belt buckle. She had a short white T-shirt that bared her midriff, and she had a long white scarf around her neck. Her arms were wrapped in white silken ribbons, her hands covered by white fingerless gloves made of white silk, both with a rectangle of fabric missing at the back of the hand, allowing her soft, flawless skin to be seen. Her face was beautiful, with two pale grey eyes and long white hair like silk that went down to her hips and was tied up at the end with a long black ribbon. A white top hat rested atop her head with a black ribbon around the edge, completing the elegant black-and-white look she was going for.

Harry stared open-mouthedly, using his body's stored caffeine to speed up his body's speed, reflexes mind and eyes, so that he could watch her walk into the room in slow-motion. Whoever this girl was, there was no way in any hell that she could possibly be related to that blonde jerk in a suit. She was way, way, way hotter. Her accent was slightly different, too.

She saw him stare, and smiled smugly, taking his attention as a compliment. She started to talk, and Harry ended his slow-motion effect so that he could hear her voice properly. "My name... is Akane Shatsu." She said in a calm, cultured voice as soft as silk and as fancy as diamond-encrusted pizza. She waited for another dramatic pause, and then continued. "You can look, but don't touch."

He had heard of this girl, heard of her ego and the shameless self-advertisement of her clothing, but nodoy had told him just how hot she'd be. He was expecting something moderately atractive, as the buying-and-selling game did require quite a bit of charm, but this? He wasn't expecting... this.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" A creepy voice came from behind Harry, startling him. The voice's owner had short purple hair and creepy eyes that were always closed. He looked unhealthily pale and thin, and he was wearing an extremely tight black spandex bodysuit. "Name's Kevin. Remember it, because you'll be-"

Harry spun around and tried to punch the creepy guy in the gut before he could finish his sentence, only for him to bend backwards at the knees and reach behind him so that he landed on his hands and feet, facing upwards, his back arced in a way that showed off his clearly-visible bones. "Nice try." He whispered throatily.

"Oh, come ON! Is EVERYONE faster than me now?" Harry yelled angrily.

The creepy guy used his position as an opportunity to use his left leg to kick Harry between his legs, in his most vital organs of all, eliciting a cry of agony as the coffee-lover fell to his knees, his hands holding where he had been kicked in an effort to stop the bleeding. Normally, a kick there wouldn't draw blood, so this guy definitely had some sort of strength-boosting ability.

A fiery explosion suddenly flared up, burning the creepy guy and scorching his flesh. He screamed in equal parts pain and pleasure, his tongue lolling out of his face as his eyes widened and his mouth became a maniacal open-mouthed grin. The explosion faded away, and another one took its place instantly.

The only girl in the room rolled her eyes as the coffee-lover burned the creepy guy again and again, their screams of agony drawing only mind irritation from her. She couldn't wait to see how these clowns handled their next mission. If they didn't kill each other first.

After the fourth explosion, Akane decided she could wait a little longer before intervening. At least until the fifth explosion.

Explosion number five hit, and she frowned. Her ribbons unwrapped themselves from her arms, leaving her elbows but staying tight around her wrists. They extended like snaked and wrapped themselves around the necks of the two fools and knocked their heads together, sending them both into the dark void of unconsciousness.

She disdainfully looked at the charred and burned body of her jumpsuit-clad teammate, and the bleeding body of the caffeine-loving... explosion-ist? She wasn't sure what those things were called, she'd have to ask about that later. But first... her teammates needed a healer.

She could sense that in a dorm room a few doors away from here, somebody was wearing a white labcoat, with storage runes sewn into the inside of the sleeves with high-quality black thread. Two larger and more powerful storage runes were sewn on the inside of his coat, where his shoulderblades would be. The labcoat hadn't been washed in a long time, but it was still holding itself together. All healers were legally required to wear white robes or a white labcoat, to show that they were a healer and not to be shot at. For obvious reasons, this didn't work, but laws were laws. No wonder most medics had died before the age of 21, either from completely exhausting themselves by healing too many people, or by getting shot, stabbed, blown up or eaten by enemies that were smart enough to target the healer first.

Akane was glad she was not a healer, as this meant she could wear whatever she wanted. She designed all of her outfits herself, and usually made the articles of clothing, as well. One day, she wanted to quit the Daigaku Agent lifestyle, and own a clothes store, or a boutique, or an entire shopping center! Or better yet, figure out some way of combining the two. The life of a boutique owner was a very stressful one, and she would love the opportunity to take out her rage and stress upon whoever or whatever needed to be killed this week.

"For the record, this team is now called Chained By Fashion, and I am its leader. Any objections?" Her grey eyes scanned the room, and when no objections arose, she smiled. "Good."

Her ribbons picked up her two unconscious teammates, wrapping around their bodies like cocoons, carrying them in the air behind her as she left the room, and she allowed her clothes-sense to guide her as she headed towards the doctor. With any luck, he wouldn't be completely useless.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Bandage Babe, Caffeine Addict, and Spandex!" Doctor Professor Marcus said as he smiled sardonically at the new arrivals. Alastair was on the floor, silently doing more push-ups. "What brings you here, to the one place I can get away from you fools? Is it a social visit?" He asked sarcastically. "Are you here for a group reading session? I'm sure I've got some good medical tomes somewhere in the corner." His forehead collided with the palm of his hand in a large, overdramatic motion. "Of course!" He yelled. "From the blood on the caffeine-addict's body, and the minor burns I can see on this freak over here, I'm guessing that they got into a fight over the love of little miss tiny-shorts over here?"

Akane Shatsu grit her teeth, but refused to sink to his level. Healers were the lowest of the low in this modern social hierarchy. Due to their usefulness, healer breeding camps were created, and they churned out healer after healer, so a healer could only be expected to get a job anywhere if they were willing to work themselves beyond the point of exhaustion, healing until they dropped dead over their final patient, completely draining themselves of mana, magic, and their own life energy. Instead of angrily yelling and sullying her honour, Akane responded coldly. "Just heal these idiots already, they won't be any use to me dead."

"They won't be much use alive, either." Marcus pointed out with a sardonic grin. "I should have known you wanted me to heal someone. After all, it's not like anyone's going to see me just for fun, is it?"

How dare this healer grin at me? She wondered angrily. Does he not know who he is speaking to?

"Hang on." Marcus said, peering forwards towards the unconscious members of Chained By Fashion. "Blondie over here is a Crepitus, right? So why were his explosions so weak? I see evidence of five explosions, all impressive-looking, but hilariously weak. He seriously needs to work on that. Also, the freak here is destroying his own body every time he Unhinges, so you might want him to learn something else. And then there's you. Cloth can't do much, compared to fire or steel, now, can it?"

"I can choke people, I can make any article of clothing bulletproof, and I can sense what clothing someone is wearing and where it is with such accuracy that it's almost a second sight." She could do more with her cloth, but she saw no reason to tell her entire skillset to a lowly disposable Life-Battery.

Alastair chuckled to himself quietly, but he kept his face blank.

"What, suddenly my brilliant skills are not enough for some common swordsman?" She asked in mild irritation.

"He's not a swordsman." Marcus pointed out. "Swordsmen usually have some skill with their blades. This guy is just an immortal, unkillable, animalistic brute, who only needs to swing his giant sword once, and he slices people in half." He said proudly. "And guess what? He's my best friend. And now, I've got some Changeling, and she's even shallower than you! So far, she's only turned into kittens and puppies. But you've only got a freak, and a caffeine addict. I win."

"Just heal them." Akane said through gritted teeth.

"Fine." He straightened his arm and then wildly swung it around, until it was pointed at three operating tables stacked side-by-side. "Put them over there, and watch as I cure the diseased and heal the sick."

She complied, unceremoniously dropping the bodies onto his tables.

"You know, these two are pretty weak. Perhaps you should let me make some... /improvements?/"

"Absolutely not." Akane said firmly. "Have you made any modifications to /your/ teammates?"

"I gave Alastair his immortality."

Akane's hat fell off her head in surprise as she stared with an open mouth. "Excuse me?"

"'Kay. But really, I made my friend completely unkillable. And used science to make him stronger. Smart, powerful science, the kind you would not understand no matter how much I dumbed it down for you."

"Try me." She said coldly.

"-Before I buy you?" He said amusedly. "Don't mind if I do!"

"You know what I mean!"

"If you know what I mean." He responded lewdly.

"Just heal them already! I think the blonde one is bleeding to death."

"But this is so much fun!" He said, and laughed. "Okay, so, this is what I did to Alastair. I performed a series of incredibly complex operations upon him, ones that you would not understand because you aren't me, and now his mana is constantly being used to replenish his stamina and heal his body. Stab him, he'll ignore it. Shoot him, he'll get better. Cut him in half, he'll pull himself together. Slice off his 'most vital organs' with rusty hedge trimmers, and they'll grow back. And throughout it all, he won't feel a single ounce of pain! ...Or whatever pain is measured in. Don't know, don't care. Anyway, this bloodthirsty psycho is completely unkillable. Know what that means? I don't have to save him time and time again, healing him every time he gets stabbed! So yeah, it's pretty hard not to like someone that can't be killed. He might be an orphan, but he's still cool."

"What's wrong with orphans?"

"They're annoying. They don't have parents, so they make themselves sad by imagining a perfect family, and fantasizing about them. They go on and on about the importance of family, and how because I don't like my family, I'm a terrible son. 'You're ungrateful, wah!' BUT THEN, on the other hand, the one that is also flipping you the fallen angel, you've got the 'tough' orphans, who believe that just because their parents didn't care, and dumped their recently-born baby's bodies in a recycling bin full of glass and ran away, their lack of parental love somehow makes them tough. As if being thrown away like a used scrub coat is a good thing! But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing about orphans, is how they always assume that their completely imagined suffering and mild loneliness are much, much worse things than actually growing up with an abusive family. 'You're lucky to have parents! Because I don't! Oh, woe is me! I don't know what families are actually like! Who cares if they shoved scaplels up your-'"

"Just heal them!" Akane snapped furiously, her patience gone and her composure broken. "Stop talking, and heal them already! With those injuries, I doubt Harry is ever going to have children."

"Come on, was there ever really any chance of that happening to him?"

"Just heal them!" She screeched. "You're a healer, so heal them!"

Marcus raised his arms, focusing his energy. His hands curled into fists, and started to shine with a sickly green glow. He pointed one arm towards Akane's face, and put his finger on her lips. Her heart raced against her will, but then it raced even more when she realised what he did to her. Her lips melted together, permanently silencing her. Akane panicked, muffled screams sounding out of her nose as she clawed helplessly at the smooth, unblemished skin where her lips should have been. She fell back to the ground and crawled away from him in horror. "Call me a healer again." Marcus said coldly.

Akane hummed angrily, unable to say anything.

"Much better." Marcus sighed in relief, his hands shining brighter. "Now, I can concentrate. And Akane? I am not a healer. I can do other things. I am a doctor, a surgeon, a professor, a medic and a fighter. I am a Biokinetic Specialist, and if you call me a healer again, I'll seal up every remaining orfice on your body and let you choke to death. Got it?"

Akane nodded furiously, terrified tears streaming from her eyes.

"Good. Now these two were here first, so wait your turn."

Marcus turned to the two bodies on his operating tables, and straightened an arm at each one. Two thin streams of life energy struck the unconscious bodies right in the center of their chests, and automatically healed everything that was wrong with them. Healing was easy, for a Biokinetic Specialist. Just point your arms, and fire. The hard part was running around, trying not to get shot, stabbed or mutilated in any way as you healed your allies, and trying to get some rest between marathon sessions of healing so that you wouldn't drop dead and be replaced by one of the many, many, many backup healers that every organisation had if it was worth its salt.

Harry and... the other one were soon completely healed, and they awoke to the sight of a shirtless guy wearing sunglasses and a labcoat, who nonchalantly raised a hand and snapped his fingers. Akane suddenly got up off the ground, her mouth wide in shock. She ran out of the room in tears, leaving the door open behind her.

Marcus smiled, and turned away. "You two hurt each other, but not much. You are both weak, disgustingly weak. She took you to me, so I would 'save' you, even though your wounds weren't that serious, compared to some of the things I've seen. So once I'm done re-attaching your most vital organs and healing whatever I missed, go and comfort your OCD drama queen of a leader. Yes, she has OCD, I can sense it from here. Anyway, go comfort her, and maybe she'll be nicer to you, the next time she feels like busting your... Actually, no, the Freak took care of those, didn't he, Loser?"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" The two teammates yelled in unison.

Marcus reached into his left sleeve with his right hand, drew two scalpels from the many storage runes sewn into the inside of his labcoat, and in one swift motion, he turned around and threw both of his scalpels with perfect accuracy, piercing Harry and Kevin in their throats. His scalpels landed pointy-end in, thanks to his years of self-training. The two agents landed back onto the operating tables, gurgling as their throats clogged and they drowned in their own blood.

Marcus sighed wearily. "I'm probably gonna have to fix that."