i was in grade school.
you were about twenty.
you and your older brother
came to work on the deck.
it needed fixing, i guess.
i watched you... it was a
secret. i watched you sweat;
the dirt on your face had
streaks from all that sweat.
i decided that you were
handsome, about halfway
through the day. i decided
to love you. and a few hours
or so later, you took your
shirt off and i loved every
minute of it. i watched you
pounding away at those
stubborn pieces of wood, till
they took the shape of an
actual structure... a deck for
my father's grill. you made
something beautiful out of
pieces of wood, pieces of
metal. i brought you a yellow
popsicle. i don't remember
what flavor... but it was yellow.
you looked at me with baby-blue
eyes and a smile lit up your face.
"thanks, sweetie," you said.
because i was a child, and you
were an adult, and there was
no way i could ever

have you.