|The Tail of a Dragon Named Kcvkjqr
Author: Skyway PM
Eric is your average, plain, boring, and simple man. But when you get kidnapped by a dragon, travel with weird and crazy people, destroy an entire empire on accident, and pass gas on live TV, is your life really normal anymore?Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,738 - Updated: 12-31-12 - Published: 12-25-12 - id: 3085932
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
You get to see Kcvkjqr in action here, maybe a small scene. Yay. Enjoy! Oh and Happy New Year's Eve!
Eric and Hag(she made a new bag made of old leaves) continued on their journey to the mountain of Gauze. The mountain itself overlooked the plains as if it was the king. The yellow bricked road was spotlessly clean of any dirt, dried gum, or poop. It was perfectly sunny and warm, with a light breeze blowing across the calm green plains. A few animals here and there grazed on the clean grass. Birds hopped around on the grass, while singing their song of life.
Eric sang "Hot Problems"(leaving a trail of destruction behind him) at the top of his lungs while holding the vase of house ashes. Hag was covering her ears. If her looks can kill, then his singing can destroy anything that can hear him. His singing even penetrated through her hands and through the layers of fuzz that decreased her hearing ability.
"ERIC STOP THAT NOISE AT ONCE!" yelled Hag over the killer sound waves.
"I know that I am hot, but textbook perfection really takes a lot~" Eric couldn't hear Hag because years of singing terribly affected had affected his hearing.
Hag groaned. Then she started feeling dizzy. "I need to buy some earplugs..." she muttered.
Suddenly, lightning struck the two travelers, shocking them to crispy fried bits. The vase of house ashes turned into ashes itself and flew away from Eric's hands into the winds of fate.
"Nooooooooo! Curse you winds of fate! Come back here with my vase and house ashes!" Eric yelled as he chased the escaping ashes.
"Eric, wait!" Hag called after the screaming man. She started running after him.
Eric ran for a kilometer towards the ashes before he had to catch his breath. "Nooo, how will I get to complete my promise now?"
Hag caught up with Eric, heavily breathing. "I'm -gasp- sorry -gasp that... you've -gasp- lost your -gasp- house ashes -gasp- to the winds of fate -gasp-" She put her hand on his shoulder, more for balancing than to show sympathy.
Eric watched the cloud of ashes form a hand to wave goodbye to him before it flew away out of sight. "Dang, aren't I just the unluckiest guy in the world?"
"Not really, it says in the world records that Broken Luck Brianna has gotten robbed on her way to work, struck by lightning, hit by a car, tossed in a ditch, set on fire, divorced, both of her parents died, her children ran away, her house burned down, acquired cancer, she went bankrupt, and she got pooped on by various animals. All in the same day too."
"Wow, that's awful."
"I know, she's living with her great aunt Henry right now. In the Rest in Pee cemetery."
"I bet she's at peace now."
"You mean in pieces."
"She's gotta be cursed or something."
The sky had faded into a soft warm glow of yellow-orange (or orange-yellow perhaps?), and the animals began to head home before Kcvkjqr comes out to snatch them up for dinner.
The dragon in question poked his head out of the cave near the town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr and scanned the plains for anything tasty. He spotted two giant rabbits trying to hop back home and flew down.
Eric spotted the dragon. "It's Kcvkjqr! Run!" He grabbed Hag and they made a mad dash for the swamp near the town near the cave of the dragon named Kcvkjqr.
Kcvkjqr grabbed the two fat rabbits and had difficulty carrying them back to the cave. It spotted Eric and Hag and he decided that he would make another round trip. Humans weren't as tasty as rabbits, but they served as good appetizers.
As Eric and Hag neared the edge of the swamp, Kcvkjqr flew down and landed right in front of them. It roared and took a step closer to them.
Eric and Hag took a step back. Then, Eric got an idea.
"Quick, Hag! Take off your bag and it'll kill Kcvkjqr!"
"Oh, good idea!" Hag took off her bag and looked at Kcvkjqr.
The dragon recoiled and shielded his eyes with a claw. It hissed at Hag and flew away back to its cave.
"Whooo!" Eric hollered. "Take that!"
Hag grinned, and put her bag back on. But a troubling thought occurred to her. "Wait, shouldn't he have dropped dead like all the others?"
Eric stopped and turned to Hag, confused. "Hey you're right, that's weird."
"Hey, maybe I've finally gotten prettier! See for me." Hag started to take off her bag, but Eric slapped her hand away.
"No, no, no, no, what if you haven't and it takes a lot more than an ugly face to kill Kcvkjqr?"
"Oh, right..." Hag looked disappointed, though Eric couldn't see because of the bag.
"So, to your hut, then?"
"Ah, right, I think you'll get right along with my swampmates!"