Author: JDjeen PM
Amputee is an attention-deficit satire in five acts. Davey wakes to find a finger missing. Mary walks vainly on the extreme. Fumie is strange. Mona is about to break. Things happen or don't. (Updates regularly.) DISEMBODIED VOICE: Amputee is rated T for harsh language, cosmetic surgery, confusion, and floor urination. Understanding sold separately.Rated: Fiction T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,732 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 03-18-13 - Published: 01-01-13 - id: 3088081
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
SCENE III: Exterior, Pleasant Valley Middle School Play-Area.
Enter; Davey, the supervisor, and a ghost finger with dragonfly wings.
"Ccchhuooo-voosh-ccchhuooo!" Davey dashes across the playground. He chases a ghost of his missing finger with dragonfly wings. The atmosphere groans, coughs, and groans in his ears. "Ccchhuoooo," he runs, then, keeps on running trampling dandelion stalks in a field of dirt and crabgrass. "Ccc," the supervisor watches the boy run into the distance well away from the schoolyard.
SCENE IV: Exterior, Pleasant Valley West High School Lunchroom Picnic Tables.
Enter; Fumie, Fat Jenny, Alice Goody-Two-Shoes, Stinky Boy, Four-eyes O'Halloran, Creepy Foreign Exchange Student, and the Ghost of Mary Wollstonecraft.
Fumie doesn't have many friends. To most children a missing leg is a mark of God's scorn. Alienation doesn't bother her much. She prefers to be alone. However alone she is, she isn't. The fringe begets the fringe. The other social outcasts glom on to her like parasites. They talk at her. She is somewhere else.
DISEMBODIED VOICE: Tweener TV presents Fumie is Strange...
POP-PUNK MUISC: She's a girl with a missing leg. All her friends are social dregs. Fumie is Strange, Fumie is Strange. Bwaump!
STINKY BOY: (Wears irregular clothes from sale bin at H-mart [tm].) I can't believe we got a picnic table.
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: (Wears a modest light blue dress, with a pair of black leggings underneath, and black with white lace Mary-Janes) Well, lucky for us the drugies were too stoned to make it to their usual table (laugh track). Yes, today will be a good day.
FAT JENNY: (Wears clothing that further accentuates her defining trait, as well as, unfortunately thick body hair. [Elbows Alice]) O, look Danny Sullivan isn't wearing a shirt!
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: (Blushes) Jenny, you horn-dog! (laugh track)
FOUR-EYES O'HALLORAN: (Wears a hoody perfumed with cigarette smoke, dirty jeans, and eponymous glasses.) You know he cried when the soccer team lost the last game; because he's a sore loser-also, a big twat (laugh track).
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: Ew, don't say that word!
FAT JENNY: Aw, isn't that cute you're jealous.
FOUR-EYES O'HALLORAN: Hardly. . .
FAT JENNY: It's okay someday you'll have real human emotions (laugh track).
CREEPY FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENT: (Wears clothing that's not even popular in his home country.) Hehehe, she called you robot.
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: Fumie, what are you doing?
FUMIE:(Wears a short skirt she carries in her backpack, an "Iggy and the Stooges" t-shirt she found at a thrift store, torn stockings with bows at the top, and Chuck Taylors of different sizes and colors.) . . . (Returns to drawing on the table.)
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: You're gonna get caught and we all suffer.
THE GHOST OF MARY WOLLSTONECRAFT: (Wears a short skirt that is held together by safety pins, and a vintage Bikini-Kill shirt with many holes.) I must say that Alice girl is an awful intolerable cunt. Why are you still in this miserable excuse for a school on such a beautiful day? You have a leg; why not use it?
FUMIE: You're right... I'm fucking leaving.
ALICE GOODY-TWO-SHOES: No, no, Fumie I'm sorry-
STINKY BOY: Can I come?
FUMIE: No. (Exit, Fumie.)
FOUR-EYES O'HALLORAN: (Looks at the drawing. It's a picture of a coyote with a turkey in its jaws. Underneath it says, "Love Will Carrion.") Shit, (BEEeeEEP-BEEeeEEP-BElloooP! [CENSOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa... not cool, not cool at all...] applause).
ACT II: (the return of a brief diversion)
A curious idiot is a lovable beast... in this case Mona was just an idiot. To add to her shame Mary had turned her mistake into a cause. A cause, cause, cause... Shit! What-a-cause. Is it worth the exposure? Are people just laughing at them? Can the American public ever take a transgendered rights seriously? These questions pulse in Mona's mind like a lonely heart beating in a vacuum. She looks at Mary with eyes full of anxiety. Mary looks back with eyes gray like choppy water during a storm. Mary puts her hand over Mona's and leans towards her. Mona feels her breath on her neck as she whispers, "Don't let your anger get the best of you. That's what they want. Remain calm, and we'll get through this together." This doesn't reassure Mona, but she smiles and nods anyway. The studio lights glare down at Mona with rays of heat. She feels the sweat pool on her forehead.
PUNDIT: Welcome back to News Factory. With me tonight, once again, is ragging-liberal-sadomasochist Mary Johnston, with her whiny-blogger-tranny friend, (air-quote) Mona (end air-quote) Miller.
ACT II: (the return of the brief diversion's nesting-doll-narrative)
He wakes cold in the pod. The area covered by his oxygen mask is the only place he feels warmth. His body shivers impulsively. He hears nothing, but his ears feel a great pressure. The Nano-Web boots after a long slumber. "Connecting. . . Connecting. . . Connecting. . ." flashes in green letters at the bottom right corner of his sight, they disappear. A translucent logo rotates in the middle of his vision, the stylized, "STX4:SAD," encircled by, "SEAL TEAM X-4: SPACE AND AERONAUTICS DIVISION." He feels pricks all over his body as a number of tubes evacuate from his flesh into the machine.
PUNDIT: So, now your story is you did it all for (air-quote) Transgendered rights (end air-quote), am I correct?
He tumbles helpless from the pod. He glimpses at his emaciated body. He vomits a thick pink goo on the floor of the space craft. The taste of metal stains his tongue. "VVfffVVfffVV!" rings in his ears; at least he can hear again. He knows something is wrong, morbidly wrong.
MARY: It started as a selfish bid for attention. Then, I came to see that I could do good with-
PUNDIT: Ha, your idea of good!
TALKING HEAD: Exactly!