A/N: Here's February for you!

February 1st

Current location: Finn's Room

It looks like Frank might get a date for Valentine's Day! I planned his and Tess's next play-date on February 14th out of coincidence. Before today, I had actually forgotten that Singles Awareness Day was coming up, but when I suggested next Thursday to Matt, he just asked me if I didn't have a date to attend to. I don't know why they all think teenagers have relationships to left and right. I mean, I've been single my whole life, and I'm not abnormal.

Matt doesn't have a date either. He's not married (no rings) but he looks like he easily could have a girlfriend. But since he doesn't have a date, I don't think so.

But I guess it was good since I need some more love in my life. Even if it's just my dog rolling around in the snow for hours with his new best friend.

We just let our dogs do the dating for us.

It's kind of pathetic if you think about it, but at least we won't be all alone. Matt's just fine as company on Valentine's Day – sure, he's thirty-something, always tired, bitter and sort of narky, but he isn't all that bad. It'd be worse if I'd been forced to spend yet another Valentine's Day with my mother watching bad rom-coms. Now I'm at least with someone I could find attractive if that was the case. I don't, though (sure, he's kind of good-looking for his age, but I'm not going down that route).

February 3rd

Current location: The Kitchen

I've finally learnt how to make omelettes without setting the house on fire in the process. Mrs Anderson came by yesterday for my first cooking lesson and, well, it definitely went a lot better than expected. The secret for not setting the food on fire, Mrs Anderson told me, was to use liquid margarine and keep an eye on things; the second rule was more important than all the others. Going to the bathroom was out of the question, for example, and until I'm skilled enough, Frank is banned from the kitchen when I cook.

February 4th

Current location: Finn's Room

I had work directly after school today. Just had the time to pack up my stuff and walk into town. To be honest, I don't know if I'll be able to juggle school and art class and work and Frank and everything if it keeps going like this. Because I was more than a little knackered when I got home, and all I'd done was to get the tour. You know, the manager showing you what to do, how to do it and what's going to get you fired.

Shop-lifting, for example.

Then I got to do some re-arranging back in the stocks, because they were getting a new delivery of another kind of soda that needed to go in the fridge. So I had to empty it – couldn't feel my hands when I was done. I've been told that I've have an old frostbite that didn't get taken care of properly, so I don't think it was the best thing to do.

I don't know what will happen with that frostbite – the nurse didn't tell me – but it hasn't turned black yet, so I guess it's fine.

Anyways, my back hurts and I should probably take up some weight lifting again, because otherwise this job is going to be the end of me. I think Isaac still attends the gym a couple of times a week, so I should just go with him… despite it being so bloody boring I just want to kill myself while I'm there. Isaac finds it soothing to get rid of some aggression, but I just get mad for being so weak. I rather just stick to my runs, but you can't really gain more defined arms from that.

I've always been skinny and on the short side, even after a growth-spurt, and it hasn't really bothered me until now. And it doesn't even to that now, really. I just want nicer arms… but it's so boring to weight-lift. Talk about first world-problem.

February 5th

Current location: The kitchen

Charlie's natural hair colour is black. Or at least really dark brown, like Mum's hair. I only know that because he was late today and didn't have a choice but to sit beside me. And me being me I couldn't help myself but to notice his outgrowth. His buzz cut is getting longer, so it's starting to show. He also lent me a pencil, because I dropped mine on the floor and couldn't find it. Julie did locate it when class was over though (it had rolled in beneath the radiator) but I don't think I'll use it as something other than a spare one. I mean, you always have more use for a mechanical pencil than normal one. I just have to stop by the book store sometime this week to by some pencil lead, since there's a severe lack of that in my school bag.

This time tomorrow I will have had my first lesson in figure drawing. I hope to god he won't be, you know, mind-numbingly fit and attractive and etc. Because while it's nice have something nice to look at, I don't want to have an inappropriate boner for three hours. I have it bad as it is with my pent-up sexual frustration.

February 6th

Current location: The laundry room

God, this year is just getting worse and worse. First there was Mum, then the almost-fire, then Charlie and his bloody girlfriend, then there was Julie lying to me and now my art teacher is an involuntary sadist. The women in my class are all grown-ups, so they just smiled politely when our (fit) model dropped the robe on the floor and sat down on the table. I would've done that as well, the only problem was just that he was stunning.

I mean, he was in Charlie's league. He was out of Charlie's league – this guy's back muscles… I don't even know how to describe them. Describe him. I'm pretty certain my breath hitched, because Olivia – a lady whom I usually work with during the collabs – gave me this look; like she knew that my blood was headed for its favourite vacation spot below the belly button. The only good thing was that he was sitting with his back towards me for the first one and a half hours, so I had some time to prepare myself. Not that it helped all that much. I'm pretty sure I was red as a stop light the rest of the time and I'm also pretty sure that he noticed, because he stared at me when I was putting my things together.

I don't know what to do with that information. He probably just felt sorry for me – being the only lad with a bunch of old ladies in floral skirts. Little does he know that I actually feel more at home with them than I do in school.

February 8th

Current location: Mattress on the floor

Having the house to myself isn't as refreshing and liberating as I thought it would be. It's actually kind of scary. If I hadn't had Frank with me at all times, I'd probably be even more anxious than I already am. I couldn't sleep at all yesterday, and while that might have something to do with the humiliation during my art class, I'm still pretty sure that spending too much time alone has something to do with it as well. I mean, I just tossed and turned, writhed, lit the light, tried to count sheep, jerked off and all it did was to make me all sweaty. I usually become all languid and such when I'm in bed (especially after I've tried to reduce some sexual tension – god I need to work on my civil status) but nowadays I'm all jittery.

I'm thinking about calling Mum about it.

So that's why I decided to invite Julie and Isaac over to watch some movies, play some video games and scarf down pizza. We haven't had any quality time since that time at the rink, so I figured that we needed it. Isaac is always so super busy with his enormous heaps of homework – taking the science A-levels will do that to you – but he'd struggled through them just before I called and he actually wanted a night off.

Seriously, that dude needs to relax some; he's going to kill himself.

And it was fun. I'm just a bit worried about Julie and her eating habits. She's eating lesser and lesser every time I see her. I don't think she's lost any big amount of weight though, but I'm still worried. I mean, I don't think Isaac has noticed yet, so she's my responsibility until he does.

February 9th

Current location: The bed

Having dinner at Mrs Anderson on Saturdays seems like it's going to be a thing from now on. And I'm clearly not complaining at all – I mean she's a really good cook, so to say no would just be stupid – especially considering my current cooking skills. The only problem with it is that I really can't do it for free. Or well, I thought I could, but Mrs Anderson is obviously looking for something in return. And seeing that she provides me with delicious food, I'm not really in a place to say no.

Today, for example, she made me help her clean out a wardrobe on the second floor, go through all the junk that fit in there and then and then sort it into three piles. One for the things that she was going to throw away, one for the things she was taking to the flea market and the last one for the things she were going to hold on to. And it physically hurt to do it. I've always had trouble throwing things away (Mum always says it's one of my biggest flaws) but I managed.

I got to keep a key ring for the trouble. It wasn't anything special – just a bunch of four-leaved clovers on a chain – but it's like forty years old, so I'm going to keep it. It might be worth something someday.

February 11th

Current location: The library

I have a Maths test tomorrow and I don't even know what we're supposed to know. Frank's been whining all night, so I know he knows that I'm stressed out. I should probably try to really study but I can't.

February 12th

Current location: Finn's Room

I failed. Charlie was sitting next to me; scribbling and sniffling and smelling so good, that I failed. I did every problem, even the really hard ones, but I'll walk out without a grade. There's no doubt about it, because I had no freaking idea what I was doing.

I'm starting to get the hang of work though, and I'll get my first salary in two (?) weeks. And while not the most eventful job in the world there's always something to do. The manager said that there was a slight risk of robbery since the store is right on the corner, but I haven't even seen any sketchy costumers. The biggest mystery is actually this girl – she can't be more than fifteen; sixteen is stretching it – that always works the same shifts as me. I guess it's just because she's shy, but she always hides behind her fringe. You know, one of those long forelocks that make it impossible to look people in the eye? She got one of those.

It's sort of annoying, but I manage.

Because while she hasn't said a word to me, we're really getting the hang of working together. Especially when it comes to stocking. I don't even know her name, but she's good company. Just wish she'd talk a bit more.

Tomorrow I get to see Ridiculously Fit Guy again. And I haven't even touched up my sketch from last week. It isn't bad in any way, but there's a distinct difference between drawing naked people with a bunch of other people and sitting at home and drawing naked people all by yourself. Especially when the people you're drawing – or sketching or painting or whatever the hell you're doing – are really, really hot. Like at-least-a-ten-on-the-scale hot. Yet he still stared at me…

I'm probably just reading too much into things.

February 13th

Current location: The kitchen

Julie was absent today, so I had to work on the project alone. I tried to get in touch with her, but she wouldn't answer her phone and not even Isaac knew where she was. But when I was on my way to art class, she finally texted me and said she was sick, so I'm going over there on Friday with some mix 'n' match. Because once when I was lying at home with chicken pox – sixteen is a horrible age to catch it – Julie came over at least three times; always bringing a bag of sweets.

So now, when one of is sick, another goes over to their house with a bag of mix 'n' match. It's just what we do. And I get to do it, because Isaac said he was too busy.

Anyways, things got a little weird during art class. And not weird in the sense of me doing anything wrong, but rather that he did. I mean, sure, it's probably really boring (and cold; I think we all could see the goosebumps on his arm by the end of the class) to sit on a sheet covered table for hours. But that doesn't mean that he has the right to outright stare at me for a total of three hours. It's one thing to, you know, cast glances, but I actually got really uncomfortable; to the point that during the fifteen minutes break I went to the restroom and just splashed water on my face.

I think he noticed that my hair was wet when I got back – Olivia did at least, and she just snickered – but he continued to stare. I'm thinking about not going there for couple of times. Maybe he can find someone else to stare at.

February 14th

Current location: The laundry room

Happy Valentine's Day! Or Single's Awareness Day, as it's also called. I like that name better, although you should cherish what've got and all that. There are more singles than couples, so it's not discriminating in the slightest. It's more like the other way around…

I gave a card to Isaac, although he hates it when I do that, but he promised to go and see Julie tomorrow after I'd given him permission to throw it away. I admit that it hurt – it really did – but I know he does it more for the sake of it; to make a silent protest and show how stupid this day is. I just try to get him to look on the bright side, but my mission has failed to succeed as of now.

A mission that did succeed though was the one involving me putting a card in Charlie's locker. I didn't see him today – we only have Maths together – and I guess he's spending it with his girlfriend anyway, but getting another card can't hurt, right? I mean, I didn't write my name on it or anything, so for her to get jealous or something else that would just prove her to be a bitch. Now, I know she isn't – Charlie would never date someone like that – but well… I don't like her, for obvious reasons.

Frank's play-date went a lot better. Matt might have been half an hour late, but he's a working adult, so I forgive him for that. Especially since he is a barrister (but he doesn't seem to like it) and one of the slowest typers I've ever seen. The man has a smartphone, but even I type faster than him and I'm not fast (when you've seen Isaac, then there's not much left to see). If he was to walk and type up a text at the same time, he'd get a stroke.

He bought me a cup of coffee as an apology, though. And in this weather, it was more than welcome. I mean, it's minus seven degrees and windy – I can feel the cold in my marrow.

Random observation: Matt seems to be a very sad man.

February 15th

Current location: Finn's Room

Went to the bookstore today to get the pencil leads and another note pad for Maths (I've filled the ones I had at home already) and who do you think is there? Of course Creepy Ridiculously Hot Guy is right in front of me in the line.

And me being me, I bolted.

No, I didn't steal anything, but I did hide behind the shelves until he left. I mean, sure, I'm socially awkward, but I don't think anyone would've stayed where they were if they found themselves in the same situation. It'd been a whole other thing if he wore clothes when we're drawing him. That would've changed everything. He wouldn't be half as creepy.

He had nice clothes today, though; looked really smart.

Julie had had a migraine, so I didn't stay at her place for long; basically just dropped off the sweets. She always gets so tired after she's had an attack and I didn't want to bother. When you go and see Julie, you go there to talk, because there's only so much to do in her and her Dad's flat. And when the hostess herself doesn't want to talk because it still feels like her head is being pounded to shreds from the inside, then you're a good guest if you leave early.

February 16th

Current location: The kitchen

I was going to have dinner – or lunch? – with Mrs Anderson today as well, but then they called from work and said that I was needed because Becca – the shy girl's name, apparently – had called in sick. So being the good boy I am, I spent my whole Saturday in the store. And it was dead – not a single customer, aside from an old man who came in and asked for directions to the travel centre. I did do some inventory though, but other than that I just stretched things up and rearranged the whole newspaper rack because there was only so much to do.

Talk about a productive day.

February 18th

Current location: The library

Charlie knows. He recognized my handwriting because of the way I do my fours. And that's it. That's all he said.

I have art class tomorrow.

I want to die.

February 20th

Current location: Finn's Room

Olivia right out asked me if I was gay today. I didn't have it in me to lie to her, but she just smiled and asked me if I was having a hard time since Arthur – which is Creepy Ridiculously Hot Guy's name – was more than a little hot. I said I didn't.

And since he didn't stare at me at all today, it wasn't a lie either.

Just now, though, Jake just called to tell me his visiting next weekend. Which would've been fun and all if it didn't mean that I have to cook for the both of us. Mrs Anderson only ever agreed to help keep an eye on me – my sort of obnoxious brother is a whole other question. I mean, Jake is like a direct copy of my Dad. I'm one of Mom. And Mom and Dad were the direct opposites of each other. They say that the less alike you are, the better are the odds for your romantic relationship to last. And that might be true to some extent, but Mom and Dad were certainly not good together.

She's so much better off without him.

February 21st

Current location: The kitchen

Becca was back today, which was good since it was really bloody busy. I don't know how people tune in with each other, but they have to because otherwise it would be queues like that! Why can't they entertain me when I'm stuck there on a Saturday night instead?

I tried to talk to her for a bit (the usual "how are you doing?", "was it bad?", "is it contagious?", "you look a bit tired") but she just glared at me and told me to mind my own business. Kind of touchy, if you ask me.

However, I don't know why I keep on trying to be kind to everyone. Maybe I should join the dark side – it's rumoured that they have cookies.

Anyways, need to take Frank out for a walk now; he's getting restless.

February 23rd

Current location: Finn's Room

Today I shovelled away the snow from Mrs Anderson's garden paths until it felt like I had broken my spine. That's the price I pay for free cooking lesson by an old chef. Yes. She hid it from for that long, so now I'm actually a bit pissed. No wonder she thinks I'm utter crap (though I am a fast learner).

February 25th

Current location: The living room

Julie came up to me today when History was done and told me that the girl Charlie's dating (or is 'in a relationship with') is her cousin's best friend, and that her name is Alice. She said she didn't tell me, because she didn't want to stop me from getting my jealousy out of my system just because of her. Basically, she meant that she didn't want for me to feel guilty for saying bad things about Alice. But since I haven't done that even once, she figured that it was safe.

Which it totally is: I still hate Alice's guts, but I'll keep quiet.

One thing that isn't fine is the fact that I'm getting my test back tomorrow. God help me. Why can't someone burn it instead? I don't want to see it (no one does) and I'm definitely not in a state even near ready to see my failure just yet. Especially not when I'm having another nervous breakdown about my future plans – or rather the enormous lack of them that causes me to lie on the living room floor; bingeing coffee flavoured ice cream like a clichéd, heartbroken girl in a horrible rom-com.

Finn Williams out.

February 26th

Current location: The library

I don't know what the bloody hell I did to make it happen – maybe it was Charlie's pen of pure luck, I don't know – but you know what? I passed! It was really, really close, though (I mean, we're talking single points here) but that doesn't matter, because I passed! Mr Kelley wanted a talk to me afterwards though, but not even his concerned warnings could bring me down today.

Charlie looked happy too, so I'm pretty sure he passed as well. It's just that Charlie doesn't just pass. Not with that brain. I bet he got full marks and everything. His buzz cut is getting better by the way – you can see his black hair now.

February 27th

Current location: The laundry room

Creepy Ridiculously Hot Guy aka Arthur has started talking to the ladies, instead of standing alone during the fifteen minute break we get. I know I shouldn't be one to blame him – I would've died due to boredom (not that I would ever let thirteen ladies and a teenaged boy stare at my naked body for hours) and frozen my ass off in the process. He tried to talk to me as well, but with me being me, I couldn't really bring myself to answer. It was like my tongue had gotten stuck in the roof of my mouth, because all I could do was nod and swallow. I'm really worthless and unprofessional sometimes.

Despite that the art class ends at half past eight, they still called me in for work between eight nine and ten. So it was me and Becca all over again. But this time, she actually started a conversation with me! She just asked how old I was and I didn't get any information out of her, but she did smile a bit. And that's always something, especially considering how reluctant she'd been before…

Oh! I almost forgot; I need to set up Frank for another play-date. He's seemed a bit down the last couple of days. It probably has something to do with me not being able to spend enough time with him. Poor Frank…

February 28th

Current location: Finn's Room

Julie was absent again today and Isaac texted me this morning, telling me he and his dad were headed for the hospital. And that's it. I haven't heard from either of them, and I'm starting to go mad with worry here. The worst part of it is that I'm not even expecting to hear from either of them, because they're both crap at getting in touch with normally; when something's happened, I'm always the last one to know.

I really need someone to just… I wish Mum was here now; I really miss her. And while I could go to Mrs Anderson, I don't feel like bothering her with all my shit. The Julie and Isaac part I think she'd get, but not the Charlie part.

Yes. The part where Charlie came up to me today after lunch, and asked if I wanted to come and watch him and his band next weekend. And I didn't even say yes because I read too much into it and he probably thinks I'm a real bloody nitwit now. Why can't I get my mouth going when it actually should, opposed to when it shouldn't? It continues to be a mystery.

One thing that succeeded today though, was that I got hang off Matt. So another play-date is on the timetable and I feel a bit better about myself.

A/N: I actually don't have so much to say about this chapter - or this story as a whole - but I hope your enjoying it anyways. I planning on updating once every two weeks or so, and if there's some segement that you like more than the others, please tell me! Same goes with complaints~

- Jill Montino